SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

Something to add that has been bugging me after your last update.
I don’t think this is her first rodeo. Just the first time she’s been caught. Rarely do we ever see this level from a first time cheater.

Hi, I wanted to pm a moderator, but it seems to be more complicated than I thought. I was wondering if it was possible to get this thread marked private or even possibly taken down?

Hi, I wanted to pm a moderator, but it seems to be more complicated than I thought. I was wondering if it was possible to get this thread marked private or even possibly taken down?

There should be a list of moderator you can contact, though I believe they read the posts so they should see your message.

Please keep in mind that if you feel embarrass to be compelled to take down the thread, you have nothing to worry about. It is anonymous and everyone here understands and sympathize with your tragedy because we all went through it. You have nothing to be ashamed of.

Make a new thread, titled 'Mod please'.

Then for the 1st post, simply write that you are looking for help.

A Guide or Moderator should reach out to you shortly after.

Mods have been alerted.

Why can't I PM anyone? Mods or otherwise? It's greyed out for every user.

Why can't I PM anyone? Mods or otherwise? It's greyed out for every user.

You have to have 50 posts before you can pm anyone.

Hey bigger can you reach out to me with a PM? Because I don't seem to be able to send them myself but I can receive them and reply to ones I receive

Hi guys,

Sorry for the weird posts. I'm very concerned about my WS being in the thread. I was stupid enough to leave it open when I confronted her and she read it (at least the most recent one where I call her a psychopath, and she's actually getting the gall to be mad at me for calling her that). If she does come in I highly doubt it will be for the purpose of understanding and more for the purpose of doing something manipulative.

She's desperately trying to get me to give her a second chance. I tried to get her to leave for so long yesterday, but she just kept sitting there and begging. She also kept getting into the "where will i go" and "How could you not care where I end up" stuff. I can't believe myself but I caved and told her she can stay in the bedroom in the basement if she needs.

She came home last night and, even though I asked her to only come in the basement and stay there if she needs a place to sleep, she of course barged right upstairs and immediately started talking to me.

She's saying that she "realized" that she "only wants to be with me". while apologetic, also talked about how she thought she "deserves" another chance and that it was "just one mistake" (basically implying that I would be over-reacting to leave her based on this). She keeps looking at the pile of her clothes and saying "you had all the energy to do this in three seconds, but you don't have that kind of energy to show up for me or our relationship? She also said a bunch of things like "This isn't over, I won't have it".

Like come the fuck on, you just texted your friend the other day that you "want OM so bad it hurts". WTF are you doing and why? She's acting like she wants to reconcile, but this is not actual reconciliation of any kind. She just wants to say a few I'm sorries and go back to the status quo like nothing happened. Then obv she's going to contact OM at her first chance behind my back. Why wouldn't she?

Like this guy has his own place, just go be with him. Even though the thought of them being together happily ever after makes me want to die, it's better than what I'm living with now.

I think I'm definitely gonna need some help from you guys if I'm going to stay strong through this. I want to do what I know I need to but I'm just being honest with myself that I'm in a very fragile state. Thanks for listening.

I can't make this private, so I've bounced your request to admins.

Honestly you sound like a good dude with the moral certainty that you are just enforcing your own massively-reasonable boundaries. You are a victim of abuse and are removing yourself from the situation. You can bitch and moan about it, or do the unsavory task that you never asked for, dust off your hands and get to surrounding yourself with people as good and ethical as you are.

I really admire how you’ve handled yourself.

Just out of curiosity, is there any real way to enforce NC these days? Obviously you can delete calls and texts and clear them from the recycle bin. And they could just go on Whatsapp or anything else.

I'm not saying I'm actually gonna do this I just wanted to know if it was really even possible.

Honestly you sound like a good dude with the moral certainty that you are just enforcing your own massively-reasonable boundaries. You are a victim of abuse and are removing yourself from the situation. You can bitch and moan about it, or do the unsavory task that you never asked for, dust off your hands and get to surrounding yourself with people as good and ethical as you are.

Thanks a lot, Sharkman. Honestly I don't think I would be able to do any of it without supportive ppl and a safe space to talk about what's really happening here.

I think one of the biggest things going around my head is how could I have been so wrong about this person? I thought I had surrounded myself with good and moral people, even if she was battling the disease of alcoholism. This experience makes me question if I'll even be able to recognize what a "good, moral person" looks like in the future or if I'll just walk around pushing people away because I'll just expect everyone to betray me on some level.

I can't make this private, so I've bounced your request to admins.

Thanks a lot, sissoon!