SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

There is a pretty powerful connection between Betrayed Spouses. I think it stems from the sense that we have learned how fragile we are, and how betrayal hurts.

When you learn that together positive things can happen.

Good luck!

Firstly, I can take zero credit for surviving. I wanted to die but my heart refused to stop beating. I continued to breath in spite of it all. I survived because I had no choice. As much as I didn't want to, I kept waking up everyday to the same old heart hurt.

This sums it up perfectly. I know many of us can relate.

DG- glad to get an update from you.

Great to hear from you DG. Things will continue to improve as you trudge along. Your experience will always be there but don't let it rule your life. Happy to hear you continue to move forwards.

Wishing you and your kids well.

yop

DG, it is really great seeing your update and that you've come through at the end of the shit storm with a path you can live with.

We have been meeting off and on for coffee and have developed a deep friendship.

That's a great way to start things, slow and comfortable. That's how my new beginning started.

She said that since it took me a year to divorce my WW, she wasn't going to wait around and see how long it took me to get around to asking her out. 

I like her style, DG! You're a great catch and if I remember you're description of her she is also one as well. Definitely let us know how today went. I would like to see more updates from you in the New Beginning forum, as well as the Betrayed Menz thread.

[This message edited by Jduff at 3:16 PM, February 14th (Sunday)]

DG, great to hear that you are finally free of your WW. Good to know you are moving on. Sounds like you and the OBS might have something brewing. A good friendship, maybe more.

Good for you. Go start embracing your new life.

I just have to wonder what your ex will think/do if she gets word that you two went on a date?

Good for you DG.

Glad you see that light at the end of the tunnel.

Have a great Valentines Day.

You both deserve it.

HM

I'm so glad that things are looking up for you. I'll echo jduff, in that I would love to see you posting in New Beginnings.

Hope your date went well.

What a difference a year makes!

Glad you are doing well.

Glad things are better for you

You will never forget but it will get easier and the times between the memories of what was will become fainter and fainter

A few points I never understood

1.Did you ever get her to make out a timeline with dates and times and details after you got the information from her devices or was it all in there?

2.How long did the actual P.A. go on for ?

3.The comment in one of the text was

, "Would that qualify as my first threesome?"

That seems very strange as "We had a threesome" would have been the obvious expression..why choose the word 'First'

To me it really stood out

4.Do you think she has done this type of thing before as she seemed very accomplished with the way she handled things during her affair and hiding it from you

Once again I wish you well for the future and you have 3 wonderful children to show for your years together

I would view that statement as "wow, so I had a 3 some without knowing it (jokingly)" and not that she has had other 3 somes.

DG, thanks for the update.

Is your xwife still hoping for R down the road?

Does she know your dating? not that it matters just wondering how she is acting.

did you come out of D with a "fair" settlement?

It is good to be back and very good to hear from you. Thanks Western, I think several times I have undated after being bumped by you. I have been wanting to get back here but at the same time, dreading to face emotions.

I appreciate the great care I received from you guys and will be glad to answer all questions. I owe. I will always be indebted. Maybe my story can help, or at the very least, shine a ray of hope to someone.

Undercover 3.The comment in one of the text was

That seems very strange as "We had a threesome" would have been the obvious expression..why choose the word 'First'

email edited out.

[This message edited by DoneGone at 7:14 AM, March 29th (Tuesday)]

I totally get why this exchange cuts deep. If this is the exchange your Ex tried to portray as her defending you then she was so deep in the weeds I am surprised she could even get up to get some air. The rationalization hamster must have been working overtime.

I am just happy for you. You seem to be in a better place, and things will only get better over time. The further you get away from the whole experience, the less power these little reminders will have over your life. Stay strong brother.

Wow. Quite the exchange.

I gotta tell you....these texts show that he thought of himself as an alpha male. He probably still thought that right up to the point when you knocked him on his ass.

I can't even imagine how painful that must have been to read. I am glad you divorced her. No one deserves that.

Did you go out on a date with the OMXW ?

C

t is good to be back and very good to hear from you. Thanks Western, I think several times I have undated after being bumped by you. I have been wanting to get back here but at the same time, dreading to face emotions.

I appreciate the great care I received from you guys and will be glad to answer all questions. I owe. I will always be indebted. Maybe my story can help, or at the very least, shine a ray of hope to someone.

Undercover 3.The comment in one of the text was

, "Would that qualify as my first threesome?"

That seems very strange as "We had a threesome" would have been the obvious expression..why choose the word 'First'

I am starting here because it is easy. I had emails between XW and OM saved. It took a while to find but here is her reference to having a threesome. I apologize if it is too vulgar and if against site rules would ask moderators to remove. Anyway, here is transcript of emails.

They exchanged many emails but this is the one that hurts the most. I am not really sure why other than the fact that she insinuates that OM out manned me at restaurant which she used as deciding factor to take the adultery physical.

I happened upon my now XW and OM in a restaurant on the other side of town. She explained, at the time, that she had "ran" into an old family friend and they were just catching up. I sat at the table and talked with them a few minutes and left.

This is the email exchange between them concerning that incident.

WW ....huge deal. My husband is my life and you were screwing with my life today. You may think it is daring and bold but it was childish and reckless. Worst of all, you were very disrespectful to my husband (BS). If you disrespect my husband you disrespect me. It is one thing to do what we are doing but it is something else entirely to practically rub it in his face. I do not appreciate what you did. Had it been OMW sitting there instead of BH I’m sure it would not have been so entertaining for you. This was supposed to be fun and I told you from the very beginning that my husband was off limits and you were playing with him. What was that?

OM Relax. Your wonderful man is a fucking moron, no more. Straight out of the gate, he is a jerkoff. I was not disrespectful to no one. And if anyone was disrespected it was me. We were having a great time till in walks asshat like he owns the place and you were all over him. That arrogant prick walks in and it is like I was not even sitting there. My seat may as well have been empty. I am not used to being ignored. If anyone deserves to be pissed it’s me

WW was all over him. My husband caught us together, what would you suggest I have done? Ignore him?

OM That wouldn’t have hurt nothing. You know you are worried about a fucking moron who can’t tell his head from a hole in the ground, right? You already know this so what is the big deal?

WW This has to end. What’s with the name calling? What has he done to you? You are the one being arrogant. You were being very rude and he was nice to you and he certainly did not have to be.

OM Whats with the name calling? You’re totally not serious? You called him dumbo your own damn self. Twice. You called him dumbo while he was still in the parking lot and then you do it again when he leaves. So what’s the big difference with me calling him arrogant? Name calling only permitted for you? I call it the way I see it. He is either too dumb to see whats in front of his own damn eyes or he is too damn arrogant to see beyond the end of his nose. Same results, I win, so where’s my damn prize. Oh, and he wasn’t nice to me. He was nice to you. What has he ever done for me other than fuck my girlfriend and I’m getting pretty damn sick of that. I have bested him in every way, you said so yourself. Then BH walks in and it’s like I wasn’t there no more and I’m suppose to be alright with that.

WW was having to keep his attention diverted so he would not catch on to what you were doing. OM good lord, what was I doing????

WW under the table dufus?

OM To what “we” were doing under the table. You cannot tell me that you were not reciprocating. It was fun as hell and you liked it.

WW No, I did not. I was pinning your foot to try and get you to stop. I can’t believe we are even having this discussion. This has got to be over. I told u in the beginning that we had to be super smart and here you are playing footsies with BS sitting right there. Talk about BS not having a clue! I am not leaving him for you nor am I going to lose him because of you. I am his wife and I have made a huge mistake. My husband is my life and I am seriously screwing up here. You said there is no way this could turn bad and here you are taunting him. You behave like this is a game. Just stop.

OM Can I call tonight? Can we talk about this? You really are making too much fuss about this. I get it, I scared you. I am sorry. I guess I thought you would think it was funny. When you called him dumbo in the parking lot I guess I thought you were up with it.

OM are making me crazy but I can’t lose you. After we tried so hard to meet up then him walking in was a huge disappointment. You know I would do nothing to hurt you baby.

OM Ok, I learned my lesson. NO harm was done. Shit, when he left, he even told us to enjoy ourselves. You gotta admit, that was funny as hell. You laughed too. What’s changed so all of a sudden? From here on I will play this the way you say. I’m gonna call you tonight?

WW you dare call. I cannot get caught. I cannot even have my husband doubting me for a second. I cannot live with that.

OM Baby, we played it cool. Sweetheart, what did he do? He got up and left us there. He even paid the damn tab and told us to enjoy ourselves. He told us to enjoy ourselves, didn’t he?

OM tell us to enjoy ourselves?

WW lol, he did tell us to enjoy ourselves didn’t he?

OM He did. I shoulda hit him up for the motel.

WW He’s a nice guy, something you obviously know little about and he would never suspect me of this in a million years. Lol, he’s smart about everything else but dumb when it comes to me, thank jesus. I bet you everybody in there knew what was going on except for him.

OM You must be the smart one. .

WW Smarter than you. Playin footsies with hubby sitting right there. If he had looked down he would have seen what you were doing. You scared the Dejesus out of me.

OM OK, what I was doing. I’m going to make it up to you baby, I can promise that. Anyways, why the fuck you worried bout him? The dumb ass don’t have the sense he was born with. Holding your damn hand while we played footsies. Aint tht some shit

WW Could that be classified as my first threesome?

OM Threesome? Honey, you’ve never even had a twosome. Shit, you’re still a damn virgin cause you’ve never really been fucked. You are going to see what you have been missing. I am the real deal, seven inches of real steel. Hell, I know you want your marriage and I respect that, but you deserve a real grown up man and I’ve got the goods. You have waited tooooo looong

WW I am curious, curious… but I have never given him a reason not to trust me. Don’t mess this up for me Please do not ever do anything like that again. You have every bit as much to lose as I do. I can’t lose BH over this. I’ll walk away in a second. I feel bad enough without you making me feel worse.

OM It’s my job to make you feel better and you are not going to walk away. You know you want this as bad as me and you said it yourself that you are mesmerized by my sexual power.

WW I said I was mesmerized by your raw, animalistic, super-horny presence. God I’m horny!!! When he told us to have fun, I knew then that I wanted ‘us’ to happen. You are so baaaddd! God. I think he will be out of town on Tuesday and Wednesday…..

OM

Now we are talking baby. I will rock your world and I guarantee you will not be sorry.

WW But I need you to promise not take stupid chances. That is what will make me feel better. I love him and I am not going to lose him over this. My marriage and family are the most important things in the world to me and I will not jeopardize them for this, whatever this is! Maybe we can have fun, but not at the expense of my marriage. Please promise me that you will not do anything ridiculous. He might trust me but he’s really not stupid.

OM Oh he’s stupid. You called him dumbo yourself. The m’fers blind too. He is not going to catch on to anything. Compared to me he is in kindergarden. It is time for you to experience pleasure from a real grown-up man.

WW Hmm, grown up man, I like that! After all this, you better not be all talk….

OM My bite is much worse than my bark. You’re making a good trade, lol, a dipstick for a JOYSTICK.

WW Ooh, I like. Suppose I were to trade my dumbo for your jumbo?

OM Horny alert! Horny alert!

WW Later, he’s home.

OM DON’T HAVE SEX WITH HIM. Winner takes it all baby. He is my adversary and I bested him. Ain’t nothing like the real thing baby. Don't have no more sex with him.

OM don’t forget who the real man is

OM You there? Can you call me later?

Bro, the hell with all this garbage, the only thing I will say is that you are fucking saint...and I will leave it at that.

I would have blasted this shit all over social media and tagged people from our church, friends, family members (especially hers).

Okay its done.

Moving FORWARD

Forget about this, moving forward, your a great catch, I can almost bet that if you have given your self a little more exposure, you would have found that there are more women besides the OBS that are interested in you.

I am happy for you, your healing and you moving forward.

I think you are doing great, I am not going to ask any more information, because I think your future has a lot of great things coming, rather than to dwell on the past.

I really hope it went well yesterday for you, also, have you hit the gym? Joined any clubs? Hobbies?

I only ask for you to get a chance to mingle a bit and meet new people (new friends) and treat some time for your self. You know like kind of "date your self"

I am happy for you, and again, MOVING FORWARD, and positive stuff bro. Stay healthy, focused, and happy.

Take care of your self, I dont know what part of the USA you reside in but if you are in my neck of the woods or I am yours, I want to treat you to a beer. (don't drink? No worries,) I nice lunch.

In all of my disgusting experience with men being cheated on I have never heard ONE of them regret divorcing her. Never. Yes, some guys are able to reconcile and find peace but lots of them have only regret for staying married to her.

Congratulations for realizing that what she did poisoned your marriage forever and then having the guts to do what was right for you. My hat is off to you, sir!

I wonder, what Mrs. dumbo think about the real man now?

Some things just can't be undone.

I'm glad you're doing well DG.

Also, I think the MC should get sued for malpractice.

And since you are reminiscing about Mrs. dumbo's hit parades, I have to put the Othello Syndrome right up there.

I am so impressed with the way you handled this. I don't know that had I read this I wouldn't be in jail today for murder!