iamidee (original poster new member #86684) posted at 9:47 PM on Saturday, October 18th, 2025
Perhaps technically not cheating but it does feel so.. I caught my husband watching porn in his phone. Initially I assumed it’s just porn but he was so freaked out it got me suspicious. So I looked in his phone, and found photos, videos of young naked girls, so many of them. They weren’t like porn, they were so real photos. When I asked him he told me he has porn addiction. Why - because he feels nothing. He wanted to know what makes him hard - so he dig deeper and deeper into the world of porn. From there he started getting into leaked photos and videos of young girls. He said he is depressed and suicidal and all this is his way of escaping his mind. I don’t know how to handle this. I feel numb.
Cooley2here ( member #62939) posted at 11:22 PM on Saturday, October 18th, 2025
If he is sending photos of underage children he is committing a crime. I don’t know about receiving and watching but it sure sounds like a slippery slope.
He says he is deadened to feelings. He needs the care of a therapist asap. The person needs to be able to write prescriptions because this sounds like a very deep depression. You can’t fix him but you can insist he make an appointment on Monday.
When things go wrong, don’t go with them. Elvis
The1stWife ( Guide #58832) posted at 12:49 AM on Sunday, October 19th, 2025
If you believe he is suicidal you need to call 911 or a crisis hotline. He needs professional help.
If he says that word again, you immediately call.
If he’s bluffing and using it as a tactic to make you feel sorry for him, that is unacceptable and it needs to stop. You may want to warn him that you will call a hotline or 911 if he says it again.
And then do it.
Survived two affairs and brink of Divorce. Happily reconciled. 12 years out from Dday. Reconciliation takes two committed people to be successful.
leafields ( Guide #63517) posted at 5:22 AM on Sunday, October 19th, 2025
Welcome to SI and I'm sorry you're here. There are some pinned posts at the top of the forum that encourage new members to read. There are some with bull's eye icons that are very helpful, too. The Healing Library is at the top of the site and has a lot of great information.
If he threatens self-harm again, please call the authorities. They're equipped to handle the situation.
Depression doesn't justify his actions. And his thinking is backwards. Porn re-wires the brain. The more you watch, the less it stimulates you and you progress down the path of going for the hard stuff. He needs to stop watching it to stop the cycle. Then, he should be using time to reconnect with you (if that's what you want.)
Sometimes, the WS (wayward spouse) will claim they're a sex addict rather than own their choices.
BW M 34years, Dday 1: March 2018, Dday 2: August 2019, D final 2/25/21
