Although this non-fiction memoir opens with a D-Day, infidelity takes somewhat of a backseat to the absolute mindf*ck of a husband of two decades walking out at the beginning of the pandemic, giving up custody of his children with almost no provision to see them, engaging in brutal legal moves to keep the assets, and giving absolutely no explanation for his behavior. The writing is clear, honest, and spare. I recommend the audiobook, narrated by the author.
I had to figure out how to move forward without knowing. To have empty spaces when you try to remember and make sense of your past feels like a form of amnesia. Or like watching the beginning and end of a movie, and middle the middle, essential pieces of the story. I have no secret to share about hwo to move on without answers. I walked a lot, a form of meditation that made me feel like I was moving forward. I took on more legal work, cooked for my children, walked our dog, bought new rugs. And eventually, after many months, I found myself on a road that had less of a relationship to his, and I stopped looking backward and sideways, only ahead.
At the end of the book, she seems to have done an enormous amount of growing, become less fearful, found her voice. It's not a happy ending exactly, but it is a hopeful ending. And the book is selling gangbusters, so that's a win, for a world where infidelity is treated too lightly, where the voices of BS are not always amplified.
