OhioBP (original poster new member #87253) posted at 8:33 PM on Wednesday, April 15th, 2026
Hi all,
I joined in hopes of healing through discussion and a way to get my feelings out there. My wife and I have been married for 20 years, together for 25. We have built a beautiful life together and she has been my rock all this time. When I transitioned out of the military I self destructed and struggled for years to find my purpose again. She stuck by me and lifted me up and kept me going. Now over the past few years my mental health has taken its toll on our marriage and with a lack of communication and intimacy we were headed for a divorce anyway. I was blind to that until the end of March when I walked in on her making out with her best friend that is a lesbian. This was done at our son's birthday party, anyone could have walked in on them.
This is all still fresh and I am getting professional help in dealing with the betrayal and the divorce. We can't talk without her lashing out at me about how unhappy she has been and she doesn't love me anymore. We have two boys, and the oldest knows about the affair and is understandably mad at her. She continues to see this woman, often not coming home from work or being home for dinner. Gives me more time with the kids I guess though. Anyways, I am putting my brief story out there just to get it out. Now I have to find a new way forward without her in it.
Cooley2here ( member #62939) posted at 9:21 PM on Wednesday, April 15th, 2026
There are several actresses who did not recognize their interests until middle age. A couple of them kept getting in and out of marriages. If she is truly in love with the OW you need to accept reality. She has moved on.
This is for you. Do you have PTSD? I hope you are seeing a therapist trained in this. There are ways to alienate the symptoms so I hope you are looking after your health.
Your mental issues sound as if your wife became totally exhausted from it. If she had to constantly be on high alert it can truly affect you because of the stress takes on the body.
She has said she does not love you any more. Believe her and work together to help your children as you process through separation.
And get help with anxiety and rage and fear. They are probably what you are feeling right now.
When things go wrong, don’t go with them. Elvis
