SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

Dear moronic HR at my company,

Did you not keep the forms on my kids when I added them to my health insurance almost 10 years ago? Why all of a sudden do you think that I am cheating you and you need proof.

Moo

Dear balsamic vinaigrette,

You are a tasty salad dressing not a Ria dressing. I was dressed just fine.

Kind regards

Ria

Dear cat,

You have fresh food and water in your bowls. Your litter box is clean. You have a queen-sized bed and an entire sectional sofa upon which to recline. You have a sunny patch of living-room floor in which to bask. I pet you and brush you and kiss you and do whatever you want, whenever you want it. I am basically your slave.

Therefore, please stop sitting on the kitchen stool and yowling nonstop at nothing. You are annoying me!

Love,

your human

Dear Mother Nature,

Please stop sending Wednesday rain. Thursday is a beautiful too and it is only 24 hours different.

Appreciative

Avocado acrobat

Dear kdny,

Thank you.

Glad to have you on my side!

karma

Dear Sweet Pea,

We all love you but are tired of the tantrums. Please stop calling for Mommy every time one of your sisters sits in your chair and while you're at it, throwing yourself on the floor is getting really old. You're gonna hurt yourself. I love you and don't want to have to ship you to go live with Grandma so please get with the program.

Oh, thanks for sleeping through the night.

love,

Mommy

My annual spring Oregon rain whine...

Dear fucking gray skies, raindrops, cold wind and mud...really not happy about any of you right now. I am really, really not happy. Shut it down and let the sun come out

Sincerely that crazed woman throwing eye daggers out the window.

And I always thought that was because of your broom.

Moo

Dear Moo,it was nice knowin' ya.

Dear Change program manager at work.

I dont know who pissed in your cheerios but quit taking it out on me.

i have a problem and you can help. If you choose not to because the report doesnt matter to you, thats almost okay, but to make it clear that you are being uncooperative just because you dont like me is about to get your ass fired.

Knock it off, put on your big girl panties, and help people around you instead of being a snarky bitch.

Dear BrokenRoad,

Quit being impatient and hitting the update message button twice.

[This message edited by BrokenRoad at 9:42 PM, April 28th (Wednesday)]

Dear Favorite Yoga Instructor,

You deserve sainthood! And thank you to whatever karma forces lead me to your yoga studio. But, please, please don't make me do anymore Downward Facing Dog--I suck at it.

Signed,

VVT

[This message edited by Very, very tired at 10:26 PM, April 28th (Wednesday)]

Dearest Mam

Today would have been your 80th birthday. We would have hugged you and pampered you and given you lots of pressies you didn't want or need. You would have said loudly you didn't need them and would have asked why we had wasted good money on rubbish.

We would have taken you out to your favourite restaurant where you would have eaten fish and chips and ice cream (as always) while the great-grandchildren ran around making a lot of noise and jumping up on your lap. You would have cursed them as you were kissing them. How they loved you.

We miss you and are sorry you couldn't make it today. If only you could have hung on a few weeks more we would have given you such a lovely day. You would have been the centre of our world.

We know you're happy where you are with your beloved husband and those little bastard barking dogs of yours.

Happy birthday Mam.

Dear Life,

Please don't let me grow old. like my parents. It really sucks.

K

Dear Pharmocology math ...

please do not kill me this sesmester ... I would like to survive and actually member something from my class ...

thank your hopeful friend

Bbear

Dear old body,

3 more karate tests to go.

Less than one year.

We can do this!

BR

Dear booger bear (and others):

Don't sweat the math. The SI math team is here to help you out.

It does help if you ask questions SLIGHTLY in advance of the due date, though.

Yours,

TH, Moo's backup.

Dear TH,

Thank you so much. I appreciate it. I think it is just simple(basic) algebra, but I failed that in HS and had to take it in summer school. Plus I had to take Geometery, in summer school, to catch up with my class so I could grad with them.

I did well in the summer school pulled high B's in both classes, but that was a independent study go at your own pace thing.

Different than class room teaching. Don't know why I did better than in summer school thann class but I did.

So if you could put in a kind word to the karma gods of Pharmocolgy Math I would much appreciate it.

Thank You.

Booger Bear

Dear Week,

Is it Friday yet?

signed,

ready for the weekend

Dear Bumble Bee, Starkist and assorted canned tuna manufacturers....I would really like something other than water and tuna mush in the fucking can!!!!

Boy do I miss the old days...

Sincerely,

The discusted consumer, who would be consuming tuna if there was anything remotely resembling tunafish in the the damn can.

Dear investigators and newbies in General,

RUN! RUN! As fast as you can!

Saying it here instead.

Pessimistically,

TH

To my Dear SI Friends,

I love y'all.