SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

Dear Texas GTG thread,

Wherenhell are you?

I've been looking for almost an hour now and can't find you.

Dear Placement Agency,

Having read my resume and understood that I have done administration for over 10 years (and come with glowing references) please also understand that when I use MS Office products - I use it the way I know how to and what has worked for me over the years. I didn't go to school for this stuff - i learned on the job as I needed to.

So pullleeese don't be giving me a multiple choice test on how to use this stuff - I realize that in word you can hit "control+B" to make something bold - but ya know...you can click the "bold" option on the toolbar and it's the same result.

Just give me a paper document to reproduce and I will slam it out 100% - don't judge me on my lack of alt codes!

Dear Insane Folks,

Can you all hide for a day, so I can meet those who are NOT?

Sincerely,

Your diving me crazy

Dear Bored Teenagers,

Is it necessary to smash every bus shelter in a three-mile radius to smithereens. Is it? Really? Doesn't it get kinda old after, say, the fifteenth one? Get a job. Or a hobby. Or a life. Or just go home and destroy your own shit.

A big boot in the ass to you from

A Taxpayer Who's Paying For Your "Hobby"

Dear Bored Teenagers' Parents,

Where are you when your kids are out damaging public property in the middle of the night? You need to get your parenting shit together before these kids all grow up to be orderlies in the nursing home you spend your final days in. You need to instill some values and develop some character in these little shits like yesterday! Get cracking, you lazy bastards!

With all due respect (none),

The Entire Fucking Community In Which You Reside

Dear HB,

The thread is bumped!

Hugs

Ria

Dear Ria,

You're a good egg.

--BR

Dear cookies,

No I do NOT need you. No you are not yummy and delicious. No I do NOT want to buy bigger clothes, dammit. Now go away.

I can deal with being sad without cookies! And you make me run slow.

Dammit.

BR

Dear SI,

I really have a lot of work to do. Quit calling me please.

I love you but I'm busy just now.

Thanks,

BR

Dear PageantMom,

I know I didn't get your shipping paperwork done for those samples. Your team lead brought the forms & didn't say shipping same-day. I can't enter them quickly, because they're "special" ones. AND, it really pisses me off that you came to my office to STEAL them off my desk & take to my backup. She can't enter those "special" samples quickly either & WTF do you think you are doing saying "I was going to take them to DaddysGirl since you hadn't done them yet!" Well, if your team lead had F*CKING said they were shipping 2day, I would have stopped the world from spinning & done them for your A$$!

Oh, BTW....who told you to start taking the crap to DaddysGirl anyway? She only does backup for me IF I take something to her...she actually has a REAL other job besides helping me!

Thanks again,

PMSing & Stessed

P.S. DaddysGirl tends to make many mistakes on numbering, if I don't write that down for her...she'd probably have gotten them entered against wrong shipping number, if you'd been able to steal them from my desk...seriously, can't someone go to the pisser without somebody running off with my stuff? I mean, I didn't even get lunch until 1pm today & then I've gotta put up w/your SH*T!

[This message edited by repeatBS326 at 2:48 PM, August 20th (Thursday)]

Dear Henry

You are my best friend's cat and it is my job to feed you when she goes away on holiday. I've been doing it for years now. You know me. You seem to like me. So WTF do you mean by biting my arm today.

Remember the saying Don't bite the hand that feeds you. You'd better keep your snappy little teeth away from me tomorrow. Your owner isn't back for another week!

Yours

A grumpy person with 4 teethmarks on her arm.

Dear work,

zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz huh, what? i'm awake...i swear....Just send me home now...its dead here....

Sincerely,

Should be happy she has a job, but is about to fall asleep on her keyboard from boredom....why isn't she allowed to read her raunchy romance novels at her desk again- Hbh32

Dear kitty,

Please don't have kidney failure.

--BR

Dear high school chickie,

First you charged me twice for my drinks. Then you did not know how ti fix it so you went and got the manager. Then you told him it was 1 drink instead of 2. But the last straw was when you took out your phone and started texting while the manager was fixing your fuck up! Really??

BTW, I told the manager that you were texting. I hope you get fired.

Signed,

A customer that just wanted a quick lunch and not to be fucked with...

Dear lady in the sparkly dress with huge boobies and white teeth and shiny hair that presses the buttons on the machine that does the lottery numbers on the telly on Saturday nights.

Why do you keep getting the numbers all wrong? I've been buying a ticket for over ten years now and not once have I even got three numbers. Now statistically that just can't be right can it? I keep changing my numbers too in case I had the wrong ones but still nothing. Zilch. Nada. Niet.

It's simply not good enough and so I feeled moved to complain. You need to check your machine - it might be stuck or clogged up perhaps by all that lippy/hairgunk perhaps? Or maybe your boobies are just so huge you can not see you are clearly pressing the wrong buttons, in which case it is time to step aside and let a mortal do it instead.

I would very much appreciate this. Thank you.

Yours gratefully (and somewhat broke) Runaway xxx

Dear coworker,

Please stop scratching my cubicle as you walk by. It's annoying all the time but more annoying when i've been on 2 hours sleep. Please go away. Let me qualify that. Please go away quietly.

[This message edited by icbtih8 at 8:30 AM, August 24th (Monday)]

DS12,

I know you'll be a teenager in 2 weeks. Please give me a gift instead. PLEASE do your work this year. I reluctantly agreed to homeschool you since DH is laid off. I know you didn't wanna go back to public schools, since they were automatically dropping you back to 7th (after you just completed 7th @private cheap Christian school). Please try your best....I don't know what to do with you, if you won't work @all this year.

Love,

Frazzled Mom of ADHD son

Dear f-tard..

When I ask you to be very specific explaining the problem, so that I may duplicate it, do not answer with "bad keyboard".

f'n idiot.

signed me

Dear hubbies friends new gf,

I don't like. I hate you from your perky boobs, to your perfect blonde hair, to your slim waist, to your straight white teeth, to the way you giggle, to the way you can wear midriff t-shrits at 30. Yes its jealousy, and I'm not to proud to admit it.

However I also hate yuo cuz you think your better than me. I tried to be nice, I asked about your life...tried to include you in the conversation. And when I made a comment about being a military brat, you curled your lip and said "I could tell" What the fuck is that suppose to mean?

Also, you are dating friend now, why the hell do you keep talking about your ex husband? You've been divorced for two years!!! I'm so glad you're ex was a doctor...how do you think it makes friend feel...ya know since he's only a mechanic!!

God, get over yourself, you self righteous bitch. I hope friend dumps you soon, cause your looks obviously aren't worth keeping you around.

Sincerely,

A girl who will shave your perfect blonde bouncy hair, if you flip it one more fucking time, its not cute!

Dear SI members,

Thank you for your weather MOJO.

Before our wedding vacation in Maine...rain...

Our sailing trip...beautiful sunny weather...

Day we left...12-14 foot swells coming in with heavy rain and fog...

Thank you SI MOJO...more later,

The new bride...25 yrs in the making.

Dear Little Moose

You have eaten all the carrots, lettuce, cabbage, and onions in our garden.

Please stay away from my potatoes and the little trees.

Thank you

sosad101