SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

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i def. needed to hear this thank you so much. but what if i feel i am prettier but he said shes beautiful? does he mean or it is it hes just caught up in the moment?

@really hurt.

If he says she's beautiful, then probably that tells you more about him: I call it mean and shallow behaviour to tell you she's beautiful, unless he's qualifying with some discussion on her morals.

reallyhurt,

It likely means he is still very much in the fog. When he comes out of it, his opinion of her will likely change radically.

She won't look very good anymore.

Hugs,

ff

I too just read this and printed it out. Then I handed it to my husband who was sitting across the room. He read it and was smiling towards the end and asked if the author of Not Just Friends wrote it. He is almost finished reading that book.

well i sent him that little part about they affair down and he said he that the more that i tell him i dont know what he saw he says he doesnt know what it was that made him say that he said it was def just him sayin it in the moment to her....??

This was pure poetry! In my case, OW is ugly, with stringy hair, and a penchant to look at her feet rather than the world in the eye. HOWEVER, he, 3 1/2 months later, he's living with her... another man's wife... and left his own wife and child behind. I suppose she must have something he liked... the weakness maybe? Or the appeal of being with a whore? I can't figure it out right now. I am right back to feeling the pain and betrayal... I love him and despise him at the same time.

But she is weak. She is trash. She is low-class. She is nothing that I am.

My best friend and I can both attest to this statement. We are both nurses, both decent looking (okay, I think she is beautiful) and both of our h's affair'd down. Both went for co-workers (factory/warehouse type jobs). Both OW are uglier than pond scum on the inside and outwardly.

Yes, they do "affair down"...

Beautifully written.

My WH's OW was young, pretty and a 'go-getter'. But inside she was ugly as sin. And I viewed her as LAZY!! Too lazy to get her own man. Easier to target someone elses knowing she could still be free enough to sleep around when she wanted to. And she did. And WH couldnt complain, he was still with me!

I've not felt inferior to her, how could I?

This is a lovely worded post for those of us who dont know how to put it into words yet. Thank you.

I absolutely agree with this one. WH OW is a total loser!! A few months after DD I come to find out through the internet that she is an ex-con who was arrested after being caught at Miami International with a bunch of drugs. She is a former stripper who was sexually abused and got pregnant at the age of 14. She now lives with WH and beats him everytime they fight.

I saw a pic of the OW on my husbands cell phone. Long red straggly hair, homely as fuck. I mean homely. Then he tells me the other night she has only a few front teeth on top cause the rest are rotted out with a black line on her gums ue to being a crack whore.

WTF??

You are not kidding, they affair down alright.

I'd do anything to find her husband.

Absolutely fantastic post. I hope it's ok but I just had to copy it to the LTA forum. Thanks, dbb, so much for taking the time to write this amazing post.

You are so right. My friend just told me on Friday that the OW is everything WS would not accept in me.

I love this, thank you so much. WH told me that Skank is my exact opposite. Nice to hear, as you are right, the self esteem takes a major hit.

I have to constantly remind myself of this, because a lot of times, I find myself jealous of her... I know that is so awful, but it's true. She is much prettier than me. I just have to remind myself that inside, she is an ugly, awful human being and there is nothing to be jealous of.

I'm gonna screen shot the OP and have it as a desk top image for my bad days.

Of course they affair down. They are defective and flawed individuals looking for acceptance and validation. Since infidelity is an addictive behavior just like alcoholism and drug addiction they all behave the same way. An addict or an alcoholic will drop down on the socio-economic scale and hang out with people they would have never associated with normally to get a drink or their drugs. Same is true of infidelity. Who is going to more readily accept behavior such as cheating, people of high morals? No. The people who will accept these flawed individuals are people who are worse than they are. That is who they look for validation and acceptance from, the bottom tier.

Bumped for newbies.

Wow you made my day!

DBB..

Thank you so much for your post. It was spot on.. my self esteem plummeted when I found out about the affair...the OW has a perfect shell.. perfect teeth, flawless makeup and the best boobs money can buy.. buy that's all it is.. A SHELL. She has no substance.. she has no integrity or morals...

My WSO certainly did affair down. It's been an awful week for me and this post is exactly what I needed to cheer me up... Thank you!