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Newest Member: BlueSea43

Just Found Out :
Honey, they always affair down

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Rise_Above ( member #23674) posted at 5:24 PM on Sunday, April 25th, 2010

bump

You can live the way you believe this is your opportunity to let your life be one that lights the way~F.Battistelli

*****
God's hand was an avocado branch

posts: 14226   ·   registered: Apr. 18th, 2009   ·   location: Chrys a lis
id 4550677
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reallyhurt0710 ( new member #28367) posted at 5:43 PM on Sunday, April 25th, 2010

i def. needed to hear this thank you so much. but what if i feel i am prettier but he said shes beautiful? does he mean or it is it hes just caught up in the moment?

posts: 41   ·   registered: Apr. 24th, 2010
id 4550701
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Edie ( member #26133) posted at 10:16 PM on Sunday, April 25th, 2010

@really hurt.

If he says she's beautiful, then probably that tells you more about him: I call it mean and shallow behaviour to tell you she's beautiful, unless he's qualifying with some discussion on her morals.

Maybe a long walk in the Hindu Kush would do it?
BW (me) 52
FWS 55
Together 29 years; 2 kids 15 & 12
Dday Dec 08 (confessed) R'd.

posts: 6398   ·   registered: Nov. 9th, 2009   ·   location: Europe
id 4551018
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fairyfriend ( member #11208) posted at 10:26 PM on Sunday, April 25th, 2010

reallyhurt,

It likely means he is still very much in the fog. When he comes out of it, his opinion of her will likely change radically.

She won't look very good anymore.

Hugs,

ff

DDay 1--Feb 99
Crappy IC, false R--spring 1999
A ended around April, 2003
DDay 2--September 26, 2004
DDay 3--September 26, 2005 when I found out the REST of the truth
8/8/09--Doing very well due to hard work on my and H's part

posts: 1607   ·   registered: Jul. 5th, 2006   ·   location: far north Chicago suburbs
id 4551032
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phatchance12 ( member #28280) posted at 10:27 PM on Sunday, April 25th, 2010

I too just read this and printed it out. Then I handed it to my husband who was sitting across the room. He read it and was smiling towards the end and asked if the author of Not Just Friends wrote it. He is almost finished reading that book.

Me: Faithful Wife.
Him: Who gives a shit, really.
Caught him on Feb 22nd, 2010.
Who the fuck does he think he is changing my life forever without asking me?

posts: 426   ·   registered: Apr. 16th, 2010   ·   location: Hell
id 4551034
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reallyhurt0710 ( new member #28367) posted at 10:32 PM on Sunday, April 25th, 2010

well i sent him that little part about they affair down and he said he that the more that i tell him i dont know what he saw he says he doesnt know what it was that made him say that he said it was def just him sayin it in the moment to her....??

posts: 41   ·   registered: Apr. 24th, 2010
id 4551042
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Now_No_You ( new member #28111) posted at 3:50 AM on Monday, April 26th, 2010

This was pure poetry! In my case, OW is ugly, with stringy hair, and a penchant to look at her feet rather than the world in the eye. HOWEVER, he, 3 1/2 months later, he's living with her... another man's wife... and left his own wife and child behind. I suppose she must have something he liked... the weakness maybe? Or the appeal of being with a whore? I can't figure it out right now. I am right back to feeling the pain and betrayal... I love him and despise him at the same time.

But she is weak. She is trash. She is low-class. She is nothing that I am.

BS(Me)- 32
WS- 34 EA and PA with coworker began 11/09
Married 3.5 years
Dated 2.5 years
One Daughter 3 yrs.
D-Day 1-3-10
Currently separated (not legally) I want to work on M. He is not committed, therefore nothing is being done.

posts: 28   ·   registered: Apr. 1st, 2010   ·   location: Mississippi
id 4551438
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Mama_of_3_Kids ( member #26651) posted at 4:01 AM on Monday, April 26th, 2010

My best friend and I can both attest to this statement. We are both nurses, both decent looking (okay, I think she is beautiful) and both of our h's affair'd down. Both went for co-workers (factory/warehouse type jobs). Both OW are uglier than pond scum on the inside and outwardly.

Yes, they do "affair down"...

Me: BW/33 The kidlets: DS16, DS12, and DD10 The hounds: Three Shih Tzu's The felines: Two short haired kitteh's

posts: 11775   ·   registered: Dec. 15th, 2009
id 4551451
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Stillpainful ( member #26281) posted at 11:30 AM on Monday, April 26th, 2010

Beautifully written.

My WH's OW was young, pretty and a 'go-getter'. But inside she was ugly as sin. And I viewed her as LAZY!! Too lazy to get her own man. Easier to target someone elses knowing she could still be free enough to sleep around when she wanted to. And she did. And WH couldnt complain, he was still with me!

I've not felt inferior to her, how could I?

This is a lovely worded post for those of us who dont know how to put it into words yet. Thank you.

Me BS(46)
Him WH(26)
Together 7yrs
Married 18 months
DD 25th June 2008
Reconciling(doing well so far!)

Depending on yourself in life is essential. Being able to depend on anyone else is a bonus!!

posts: 118   ·   registered: Nov. 23rd, 2009
id 4551654
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Chabeli ( member #25838) posted at 1:58 PM on Monday, April 26th, 2010

I absolutely agree with this one. WH OW is a total loser!! A few months after DD I come to find out through the internet that she is an ex-con who was arrested after being caught at Miami International with a bunch of drugs. She is a former stripper who was sexually abused and got pregnant at the age of 14. She now lives with WH and beats him everytime they fight.

posts: 477   ·   registered: Oct. 14th, 2009   ·   location: New York
id 4551795
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phatchance12 ( member #28280) posted at 8:05 PM on Monday, April 26th, 2010

I saw a pic of the OW on my husbands cell phone. Long red straggly hair, homely as fuck. I mean homely. Then he tells me the other night she has only a few front teeth on top cause the rest are rotted out with a black line on her gums ue to being a crack whore.

WTF??

You are not kidding, they affair down alright.

I'd do anything to find her husband.

Me: Faithful Wife.
Him: Who gives a shit, really.
Caught him on Feb 22nd, 2010.
Who the fuck does he think he is changing my life forever without asking me?

posts: 426   ·   registered: Apr. 16th, 2010   ·   location: Hell
id 4552711
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forgivenotforget ( member #11053) posted at 8:22 PM on Monday, April 26th, 2010

Absolutely fantastic post. I hope it's ok but I just had to copy it to the LTA forum. Thanks, dbb, so much for taking the time to write this amazing post.

D-day - 12/23/05 LTA - 8 years.
"Love's a matter of trust and I just want to believe in us." M McBride

posts: 1910   ·   registered: Jun. 20th, 2006   ·   location: A tunnel where I'm beginning to see the light
id 4552763
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makingit5683 ( new member #28315) posted at 8:26 PM on Monday, April 26th, 2010

You are so right. My friend just told me on Friday that the OW is everything WS would not accept in me.

BS/44-me
WS/47
D-Day 10/06/07
D-Day 6/28/08
D-Day 2/6/09
D-Day 3/26/10
kids 18 and 15
Married 22years and together 30 years.

posts: 9   ·   registered: Apr. 19th, 2010   ·   location: Georgia
id 4552773
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shattered123 ( member #27843) posted at 8:35 PM on Monday, April 26th, 2010

I love this, thank you so much. WH told me that Skank is my exact opposite. Nice to hear, as you are right, the self esteem takes a major hit.

posts: 2590   ·   registered: Mar. 5th, 2010
id 4552807
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Whalers11 ( member #27544) posted at 12:53 AM on Tuesday, April 27th, 2010

I have to constantly remind myself of this, because a lot of times, I find myself jealous of her... I know that is so awful, but it's true. She is much prettier than me. I just have to remind myself that inside, she is an ugly, awful human being and there is nothing to be jealous of.

posts: 3358   ·   registered: Feb. 11th, 2010
id 4553369
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AttemptStrength ( member #27947) posted at 1:13 AM on Tuesday, April 27th, 2010

I'm gonna screen shot the OP and have it as a desk top image for my bad days.

BS me
WS him x2 A's
1 autistic DS

I'd never have spent the money on a wedding dress if I knew I was just going to a costume party.

posts: 1992   ·   registered: Mar. 16th, 2010   ·   location: Wisconsin
id 4553405
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betrayed1012 ( member #26112) posted at 3:49 AM on Tuesday, April 27th, 2010

Of course they affair down. They are defective and flawed individuals looking for acceptance and validation. Since infidelity is an addictive behavior just like alcoholism and drug addiction they all behave the same way. An addict or an alcoholic will drop down on the socio-economic scale and hang out with people they would have never associated with normally to get a drink or their drugs. Same is true of infidelity. Who is going to more readily accept behavior such as cheating, people of high morals? No. The people who will accept these flawed individuals are people who are worse than they are. That is who they look for validation and acceptance from, the bottom tier.

BS 52
WW 41
Dday 10/12/09
Filed Divorce Complaint 2/1/10
Together 18 year
M 14 years
Children: 11 & 7

Divorced 10/14/10

posts: 1010   ·   registered: Nov. 7th, 2009
id 4553618
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Edie ( member #26133) posted at 8:05 AM on Monday, May 24th, 2010

Bumped for newbies.

Maybe a long walk in the Hindu Kush would do it?
BW (me) 52
FWS 55
Together 29 years; 2 kids 15 & 12
Dday Dec 08 (confessed) R'd.

posts: 6398   ·   registered: Nov. 9th, 2009   ·   location: Europe
id 4600378
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DaniGirl ( member #28436) posted at 12:57 PM on Monday, May 24th, 2010

Wow you made my day!

Me:BW (35)Him: WH(36) 3boys 8,5,1
Married 13 Years False R- Now Divorced!!He's with Skank #3 a "dancer"
Read my story "Merry Christmas, Douchebag"
http://www.amazon.com/Merry-Christmas-Douchebag-ebook/dp/B006OIA2IW/ref=sr_1_1?

posts: 346   ·   registered: May. 4th, 2010
id 4600466
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nolight228 ( member #28425) posted at 1:44 PM on Monday, May 24th, 2010

DBB..

Thank you so much for your post. It was spot on.. my self esteem plummeted when I found out about the affair...the OW has a perfect shell.. perfect teeth, flawless makeup and the best boobs money can buy.. buy that's all it is.. A SHELL. She has no substance.. she has no integrity or morals...

My WSO certainly did affair down. It's been an awful week for me and this post is exactly what I needed to cheer me up... Thank you!

ME - BSO 29
HIM- WSO 34
Together 3yrs, Engaged for 2 yr
D-DAY 4/6/10

FINALLY!! It looks like we have a fighting chance...

posts: 65   ·   registered: May. 2nd, 2010   ·   location: The Twilight Zone
id 4600502
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