SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

High risk HPV and BV were a gift from the A. Would not have had a Pap this year but because I found out about the A, had all the testing done. My Gyn told me to make sure i told him I got this as a result of his infidelity. Of course, Gyn is female.

Well... technically I can't contract bacterial vaginosis but it WAS a gift given to my WW during her A.

To be fair, though, I DID have to live through some of the... symptoms... of the STD...

I think it might be helpful to other SIers (especially the JFO people) for those of us who have been infected with various STD's to tell our stories since we probably have more knowledge about the particular STD that we have contracted than the average person.

Trichomoniasis

About a month after FWS had contact with the pond scum, I started to develop a terrible vaginal itch which I innocently assumed was a yeast infection and self treated with the over the counter Monistat. It would not go away. I treated over and over and over for 45 Days! I was in agony!!! I have always hated to go to the GYN that's why I self treated for so long.

Finally, in desperation, I went in. Within minutes after looking under the microscope, my doc asked me if I was in a 'faithful' relationship. I said "of course"! He told me to get dressed and go into his office.

He told me I had an STD called trichomoniasis. He told me very slowly, carefully, and gingerly that if I was not being unfaithful to my husband then it meant that my husband was being unfaithful to me. My mind was reeling and I think I had some sort of out of body experience or something because I felt like I had tunnel vision, and everything looked warped and out of shape. I still wasn't really 'getting it' and I told him that there was no way that that was possible, because my H was 100% faithful.

He didn't try to argue with me (I'm sure he had heard that song and dance 1000 times before!) he just told me that my H and myself needed to both be treated immediately.

I still couldn't believe it, and since I had just been in a few months previously for a routine check up...I accused the doc of having not used sterile equipment on me at that time, and had infected me with the Trich!!!! I know, denial is a POWERFUL force! The Doc took my accusation in stride, and said "yes, it is 'possible', but That he was 99.9% sure that that was NOT the way I got this STD. (to this day I am MORTIFIED that I accused him!)

I got in my car and drove home shaking like a leaf with my mind reeling, called my H, and told him to come home from work immediately, that I had to talk to him. He kept insisting that I tell him what was wrong over the phone, and like a dumb ass I told him, instead of waiting to see him in person.

When I told him, he said that he didn't know what the hell I was talking about, that there was nothing wrong with him, and that if I had something like that, that I MUST BE HAVING AN AFFAIR!!!!!!

I was out of my mind in agony, and I truly did not believe he could be cheating on me. I believed that other men might cheat, but I KNEW HE NEVER WOULD! That the doc's office had infected me!

Now, I know everyone thinks I'm crazy, I even think I was crazy...and I am an educated middle-aged woman...but this is how much I trusted him!

After our phone call, I started thinking back and thinking back and seeing the red flags, and remembering that he had been on a business trip recently. I put two and two together, and BINGO, I knew that had to be it.

When the SOB got home from work, I was a zombie, and I told him to make an appointment with his doc to be tested immediately, and that I WAS GOING WITH HIM!

He went in 2 days later was tested for everything, but his Trich test showed NOTHING!!!! He smugly walked out and told me that he didn't have anything, and wanted to know what I had been up to?

Okay, lesson #1. Only RARELY will men test positive for Trich...yes, they have it, but it does NOT show up on the test... They have it, but only rarely show any symptoms, they pass it and continue to pass it to partners, until being treated for it!

So that really put me in a pickle, now didn't it. So I have a husband that I KNOW has cheated on me, but I'M the only one that has been PROVEN to have it!

So beware people! This could really screw someone over in a divorce proceeding! I can't prove that he had it, but HE CAN PROVE THAT I DID!!!!! WTF!!!!!

At the time, all he would ever admit to was having gone to a strip club. The truth didn't come out until the next D-day.

Trich is easily curable, but shows virtually NO symptoms in men, so they can screw and screw and screw and pass it on without even knowing it. The scary part is that: Trich increases the chances of HIV transmission if HIV is present at the time. It increases the concentration of the virus in the semen. For women infected with Trich, they are more susceptible to HIV because their cervix becomes 'friable' meaning that it is easily irritated, inflamed, and bleeding.

So for those whose partners are promiscuous, imagine the possibilities. Because cheaters are cheating with other cheaters, who have cheated with other cheaters, who cheat with escorts, sex workers, bar sluts, or just the woman next door, the likelihood of contracting something is increased exponentially.

Trich is the most commonly passed STD, but associated with INCREASED TRANSMISSION OF HIV!!!

Health Consequences of Trichomoniasis in Women

Risk Factor for HIV

T. vaginalis has been associated with amplifying transmission and aquisition of HIV infection.2 Treatment of women infected with T. vaginalis resulted in a 4.2-fold reduction in the quantity of HIV-1 in vaginal secretions.3

Associated with Herpes Simplex Virus-2 Acquisition

Incident trichomoniasis was an independent predictor of herpes simplex virus-2 incidence; women with trichomoniasis were almost 4 times as likely to acquire HSV-2 infection.4

Contributor to Female Infertility

Trichomonads may serve as vectors for spread of other organisms by carrying these pathogens up the fallopian tubes.5 Several studies have shown T. vaginalis to be a risk factor for tubal infertility.6-8

Pelvic Inflammatory Disease (PID)

A significantly higher rate of pelvic inflammatory disease among women with trichomoniasis has been shown compared with uninfected women.9 A separate study demonstrated that women colonized with Chlamydia and Trichomonas were significantly more likely to have symptomatic upper tract disease.10

Cervical Neoplasia

Infection with T. vaginalis has been associated with a 2-fold increased risk of cervical neoplasia, even after controlling for human papillomavirus (HPV) infection.11

Preterm Birth

Pregnancy complications such as preterm labor and delivery, as well as low birth weight infants have been associated with T. vaginalis infection in several studies.12,13 Treatment of asymptomatic trichomoniasis in pregnancy is controversial.14,15

Health Consequences of Trichomoniasis in Men

Risk Factor for HIV

Among HIV positive men with symptomatic Trichomonas urethritis, there was a 6-fold increase in HIV concentration in semen compared to HIV positive men without Trichomonas.16 Treatment of HIV infected men with T. vaginalis resulted in reduced excretion of HIV in semen.17

Contributor to Male Infertility

Among men infected with Trichomonas, there was a significant decrease in both sperm motility and viability versus control subjects. Treatment of Trichomonas showed significant improvements in sperm motility, viability, viscosity and particulate matter.18

Nongonococcal Urethritis (NGU)

Trichomoniasis may be an important cause of nongonococcal urethritis. A recent study found that in men with NGU, 19.9% were infected with Trichomonas.19 The Centers for Disease Control STD treatment guidelines recommend inclusion of Trichomonas therapy for men with recurrent NGU.20

Chronic Prostatitis

A recenty study involving men with chronic prostatitis found that in 71% of the men the cause of prostatitis was infective with trichomoniasis the specific infection in 19% of the men.21

Here is the link to learn more:

http://trichomoniasis.org/Index.aspx

Hugs to us.

[This message edited by painpaingoaway at 4:12 PM, February 17th (Thursday)]

Anyone care to share info on their particular STD? Ya'll don't leave me all alone out here in STD land!

Pain, my husband gave me herpes, but it wasn't from the infidelity (I got tested after he confessed and I tested positive - I hadn't had any sexual contact with him between his infidelity and the test).

Apparently we've both had it for years and neither of us has ever had an outbreak. My OBGYN said this is not uncommon.

While it's not ONS-related, it came to light at the same time as the ONS and was another bitter pill to swallow. He spent his 20s sleeping around (we got married when he was 29 and I was 23). I've had sex with three people in my life, he's the only one I've EVER had unprotected sex with. Just goes to show that you should demand an STD test from any potential partner, whether or not they THINK they're clean. And it's bitter too because it's just another way that I was victimized by his bad choices. I try not to think about it too much, because really if I've had it this long and never had an outbreak, I might never have known, but it makes me angry sometimes. Some random faceless girl in his past caused me to have an STD. Nice. Why did I always do the right thing? Look where it got me.

[This message edited by JanaGreen at 4:21 PM, February 17th (Thursday)]

Ok, so this thread has had me thinking all day. Since I tested positive for BV in October and had symptoms for probably two to three months prior, does it make any sense that the last time FWH had unprotected sex (and according to him the ONLY time) was January?

There is a third encounter between FWH and MOW that he "can't remember when it was." He has told me he THINKS it was April or May. Could it actually have been more recently? Could he be lying about them using condoms?

Do I confront him on this one?

My first husband brought home TWO STD's when I was pregnant with child #2.

Hand also up.

He knew MOW had herpes, but apparently they "didn't like condoms". Nice.

I asked him if it was HIV, would he have killed the mother of his children...

Anyway, Please get tested if you haven't. Make WS be tested as well, and ask for report!!! A retest for you in 6 months if you know A is over and WS should go again too just to be safe.

This is a particularly cruel club to be a member of when we're members already of the other.

group B hemolytic strep--

I did not realize that Vaginal Strep was also considered an STD.

So that makes 3 I was given by first husband while I was pregnant with our second child.

Plzwakeme,

I'd be really careful about that. Discuss it thoroughly with your doc first. 'Supposedly' A woman can not pass BV to a man, but we have many many anecdotal reports here about women having BV infections coincide with their WH's cheating. Tread lightly on that one, since there is no 'real science' to back that one up unfortunately.

Jana,

Thank God you've never had an outbreak, but I know how it must hurt to be the innocent victim of your H's stupidity, and to have to carry 'his' disease for the rest of your life.

Easydoesit,

How horrible...I hope they were curable... Are you okay now?

Fourever,

Hugs to you.

He knew MOW had herpes, but apparently they "didn't like condoms". Nice.

I asked him if it was HIV, would he have killed the mother of his children...

Yep, I feel your pain. When I asked mine why he didn't wear a condom, he said 'he didn't have one on him'...and I asked well so you thought it would be okay to have sex with a stranger without one? And he said, "well I thought about it, but hoped she didn't have anything" MORON

Easydoesit,

group B hemolytic strep--

can you tell us more about this?

painpaingoaway

I did same with the over the counter monistat, obviously didn't work. Unfortunately, my Gyno was not available and I had the substitute. Can you believe that she told me that although it's an STD, it may be something I've been carrying dormant for a long time and it just reared its' ugly head. She just totally gave WH an OUT!! I was so angry when I realized this (a year later). I wish my gyno had sat me down and told me what yours told you.

I'm a bit confused - I don't want to be contradictory at all because I am not entirely sure about this - but I didn't think that BV was an STD, strictly speaking? It's not always sexually transmitted, correct?

Luckily I tested clean last week....but I wanted to point out that ANY woman can get BV.

I had it many, many times in high school and my early 20's. I never had a Dr tell me it was an STD or that I had gotten it from anyone else. I was told that any woman can get it and sometimes you can get it from wiping wrong...ie back to front rather than front to back (as soon as I fixed that problem I've never had BV again

Also...Group B strep...All women have Group B strep.....it's a common bacteria again present in the vagina. But it's overgrowth is a problem. It is also not an STD to my knowledge....but yes every pg woman is tested for it because of the harm it can cause the baby.

Betrayed and Lost is correct. BV is not necessarily transmitted through sex. The natural concentrations of the "good" and "bad" bacteria in the vagina is offset. A number of things can cause it from sex, to douching or even other chemicals that we use in that area.

OK thank God. I had BV once several years ago and I really didn't want to have to worry about a possible past infidelity.

Both H and I got a gift that will last a lifetime from his infidelity. Fortunately for him, I'm the only one that shows sypmtoms ever.

I was diagnosed with HPV in November during a annual pap. I have researched this, and spoke to many doctors, and they say that HPV can lay dormant for years even decades. Thankfully after colposcopy, biopsy, and ultrasound everything is o.k. Just have to go every three months for a pap, until I receive two normals.

Just to clarify...BV is NOT considered an STD...but it is associated with multiple sex partners, among other things...There was a lot of anecdotal reporting in a previous post of many betrayed wives noticing bouts of BV coinciding with infidelity... Just an interesting correlation.

Jana, I think Isthisforreal was referring to Trich, which is an STD.

Here is the CDC fact sheet on BV.

Bacterial Vaginosis – CDC Fact Sheet

What is bacterial vaginosis?

Bacterial vaginosis (BV) is the name of a condition in women where the normal balance of bacteria in the vagina is disrupted and replaced by an overgrowth of certain bacteria.  It is sometimes accompanied by discharge, odor, pain, itching, or burning.

How common is bacterial vaginosis?

Bacterial vaginosis (BV) is the most common vaginal infection in women of childbearing age.  In the United States, BV is common in pregnant women.

How do people get bacterial vaginosis?

The cause of BV is not fully understood. BV is associated with an imbalance in the bacteria that are normally found in a woman's vagina. The vagina normally contains mostly "good" bacteria, and fewer "harmful" bacteria. BV develops when there is an increase in harmful bacteria.

Not much is known about how women get BV. There are many unanswered questions about the role that harmful bacteria play in causing BV. Any woman can get BV. However, some activities or behaviors can upset the normal balance of bacteria in the vagina and put women at increased risk including:

Having a new sex partner or multiple sex partners

Douching

It is not clear what role sexual activity plays in the development of BV. Women do not get BV from toilet seats, bedding, swimming pools, or from touching objects around them. Women who have never had sexual intercourse may also be affected.

What are the signs and symptoms of bacterial vaginosis?

Women with BV may have an abnormal vaginal discharge with an unpleasant odor. Some women report a strong fish-like odor, especially after intercourse. Discharge, if present, is usually white or gray; it can be thin. Women with BV may also have burning during urination or itching around the outside of the vagina, or both. However, most women with BV report no signs or symptoms at all.

BV can increase a woman's susceptibility to other STDS such as HIV, Herpes, Chlamydia, and Gonorrhea.

What are the complications of bacterial vaginosis?

In most cases, BV causes no complications. But there are some serious risks from BV including:

Having BV can increase a woman's susceptibility to HIV infection if she is exposed to the HIV virus.

Having BV increases the chances that an HIV-infected woman can pass HIV to her sex partner.

Having BV has been associated with an increase in the development of an infection following surgical procedures such as a hysterectomy or an abortion.

Having BV while pregnant may put a woman at increased risk for some complications of pregnancy, such as preterm delivery.

BV can increase a woman's susceptibility to other STDs, such as herpes simplex virus (HSV), chlamydia, and gonorrhea.

How does bacterial vaginosis affect a pregnant woman and her baby?

Pelvic Inflammatory Disease (PID)

Pregnant women with BV more often have babies who are born premature or with low birth weight (low birth weight is less than 5.5 pounds).

The bacteria that cause BV can sometimes infect the uterus (womb) and fallopian tubes (tubes that carry eggs from the ovaries to the uterus). This type of infection is called pelvic inflammatory disease (PID). PID can cause infertility or damage the fallopian tubes enough to increase the future risk of ectopic pregnancy and infertility. Ectopic pregnancy is a life-threatening condition in which a fertilized egg grows outside the uterus, usually in a fallopian tube which can rupture.

How is bacterial vaginosis diagnosed?

A health care provider must examine the vagina for signs of BV and perform laboratory tests on a sample of vaginal fluid to look for bacteria associated with BV.

What is the treatment for bacterial vaginosis?

STDs & Pregnancy

Although BV will sometimes clear up without treatment, all women with symptoms of BV should be treated to avoid complications. Male partners generally do not need to be treated. However, BV may spread between female sex partners.

Treatment is especially important for pregnant women. All pregnant women who have ever had a premature delivery or low birth weight baby should be considered for a BV examination, regardless of symptoms, and should be treated if they have BV. All pregnant women who have symptoms of BV should be checked and treated.

Some physicians recommend that all women undergoing a hysterectomy or abortion be treated for BV prior to the procedure, regardless of symptoms, to reduce their risk of developing an infection.

BV is treatable with antibiotics prescribed by a health care provider. Two different antibiotics are recommended as treatment for BV: metronidazole or clindamycin. Either can be used with non-pregnant or pregnant women, but the recommended dosages differ. Women with BV who are HIV-positive should receive the same treatment as those who are HIV-negative.

BV can recur after treatment.

How can bacterial vaginosis be prevented?

BV is not completely understood by scientists, and the best ways to prevent it are unknown. However, it is known that BV is associated with having a new sex partner or having multiple sex partners.

The following basic prevention steps can help reduce the risk of upsetting the natural balance of bacteria in the vagina and developing BV:

Be abstinent.

Limit the number of sex partners.

Do not douche.

Use all of the medicine prescribed for treatment of BV, even if the signs and symptoms go away.

So I actually talked to FWH about all of this this morning. I pointed out that it's such a freaking rub of salt in my many, many wounds that I even have to THINK about any of this, much less worry at every pap exam in the future whether or not that whore infected me with HPV. Ugh.

I also pointed out that when he chose to have sex with her without using a condom, he made a decision that had health ramifications not only for him, but for me as well. Once again, me the innocent one is afected by his selfish decisions.

This whole thing is messing with me big time. I think because he gaslighted me all through the A, including when I went to my gyn for about the 100th time complaining of pelvic pain and some other things. She said, "You know, the only other thing I can think of is testing you for STDs." I scoffed at the idea. No, it wasn't THAT. I knew I had never cheated and I just KNEW that H had never cheated.

I'm so stupid. When I came home from that appointment I looked my H straight in the eye and told him what the doc said and asked, "Have you cheated on me? Do I need that test? You get a free pass here to tell me the truth." His response: "I could never do that to you. I could never hurt you like that."

A few days later is when I accidently discovered the emails between him and OW#2 making it pretty clear that they had had sex. UGH!

Now I am pissed off all over again! How could he have lied to me like that, knowing my health was at risk?? Sure he went NC immediately and has been the model H since DDay #2, but how do I know this is the real him now and the A him wasn't the real him??