SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

Haven't been tested. I have had no symptoms, but now see that some std's don't. Thank you to all of you brave SIers for sharing your stories. I will be making a Dr. Appt.

Since I am pregnant, I was tested routinely for everything including HIV in early January and it was all clean. I seriously sat there and held my breath.

Now that I have seen messages on WH's hook-up dating sites from January 16th, I get to tearfully ask my midwife to run everything again. Awesome.

WXH1: HPV, trichomoniasis

WH2: HSV1 and HSV2. Still waiting for results of recent tests due to onset of some peculiar symptoms. "R" may be over.

Is PISD considered an STD?

Pique,

What is PISD?

Hmmm, not an STD as such, but having 6 bouts of yesst infection in the 12 months post d-day, tells me something changed.

Ws tested negative to everything that he was tested for, unfortunately I don't actually know what he was tested for, I'm guessing just the biggies.

I've probably only had thrush four times previously in my entire life.... I'm 50, but 6 in 12 months, I can't think of any other reason.

Well I just found out two days ago about my pap results. I show abnormal cells meaning that he contracted hpv, passed it on to me, and it may have developed into cancer! Chances are that I am fine, but I will have to get a colposcopy and possibly several biopsies after that. I'm so disgusted! I have only ever "been" with him. I asked him if he used condoms when he had sex with the other women and he said yes. I guess that was just one more of his lies. But as far as any information I can provide: there really is no test for hpv. The only way someone can find out they have hpv is if someone shows symptoms. This means if either person gets genital warts or signs of cancerous cells, that is the only way they will know they got hpv. Of course he shows nothing but I'm the one anxiously waiting to find out if I have cancer at the ripe old age of 23!!!

Herpes Info:

What is genital herpes?

Genital herpes is a sexually transmitted disease (STD) caused by the herpes simplex viruses type 1 (HSV-1) or type 2 (HSV-2). Most genital herpes is caused by HSV-2. Most individuals have no or only minimal signs or symptoms from HSV-1 or HSV-2 infection. When signs do occur, they typically appear as one or more blisters on or around the genitals or rectum. The blisters break, leaving tender ulcers (sores) that may take two to four weeks to heal the first time they occur. Typically, another outbreak can appear weeks or months after the first, but it almost always is less severe and shorter than the first outbreak. Although the infection can stay in the body indefinitely, the number of outbreaks tends to decrease over a period of years.

How do people get genital herpes?HSV-1 and HSV-2 can be found in and released from the sores that the viruses cause, but they also are released between outbreaks from skin that does not appear to have a sore. Generally, a person can only get HSV-2 infection during sexual contact with someone who has a genital HSV-2 infection. Transmission can occur from an infected partner who does not have a visible sore and may not know that he or she is infected.

HSV-1 can cause genital herpes, but it more commonly causes infections of the mouth and lips, so-called “fever blisters.” HSV-1 infection of the genitals can be caused by oral-genital or genital-genital contact with a person who has HSV-1 infection. Genital HSV-1 outbreaks recur less regularly than genital HSV-2 outbreaks.

What are the signs and symptoms of genital herpes?Most people infected with HSV-2 are not aware of their infection. However, if signs and symptoms occur during the first outbreak, they can be quite pronounced. The first outbreak usually occurs within two weeks after the virus is transmitted, and the sores typically heal within two to four weeks. Other signs and symptoms during the primary episode may include a second crop of sores, and flu-like symptoms, including fever and swollen glands. However, most individuals with HSV-2 infection never have sores, or they have very mild signs that they do not even notice or that they mistake for insect bites or another skin condition.

People diagnosed with a first episode of genital herpes can expect to have several (typically four or five) outbreaks (symptomatic recurrences) within a year. Over time these recurrences usually decrease in frequency. It is possible that a person becomes aware of the "first episode" years after the infection is acquired.

What are the complications of genital herpes?HIV/AIDS & STDsGenital herpes can cause recurrent painful genital sores in many adults, and herpes infection can be severe in people with suppressed immune systems. Regardless of severity of symptoms, genital herpes frequently causes psychological distress in people who know they are infected.

In addition, genital HSV can lead to potentially fatal infections in babies. It is important that women avoid contracting herpes during pregnancy because a newly acquired infection during late pregnancy poses a greater risk of transmission to the baby. If a woman has active genital herpes at delivery, a cesarean delivery is usually performed. Fortunately, infection of a baby from a woman with herpes infection is rare.

Herpes may play a role in the spread of HIV, the virus that causes AIDS. Herpes can make people more susceptible to HIV infection, and it can make HIV-infected individuals more infectious.

How is genital herpes diagnosed?The signs and symptoms associated with HSV-2 can vary greatly. Health care providers can diagnose genital herpes by visual inspection if the outbreak is typical, and by taking a sample from the sore(s) and testing it in a laboratory. HSV infections can be diagnosed between outbreaks by the use of a blood test. Blood tests, which detect antibodies to HSV-1 or HSV-2 infection, can be helpful, although the results are not always clear-cut.

Is there a treatment for herpes?There is no treatment that can cure herpes, but antiviral medications can shorten and prevent outbreaks during the period of time the person takes the medication. In addition, daily suppressive therapy for symptomatic herpes can reduce transmission to partners.

How can herpes be prevented?The surest way to avoid transmission of sexually transmitted diseases, including genital herpes, is to abstain from sexual contact, or to be in a long-term mutually monogamous relationship with a partner who has been tested and is known to be uninfected.

Genital ulcer diseases can occur in both male and female genital areas that are covered or protected by a latex condom, as well as in areas that are not covered. Correct and consistent use of latex condoms can reduce the risk of genital herpes.

Persons with herpes should abstain from sexual activity with uninfected partners when lesions or other symptoms of herpes are present. It is important to know that even if a person does not have any symptoms he or she can still infect sex partners. Sex partners of infected persons should be advised that they may become infected and they should use condoms to reduce the risk. Sex partners can seek testing to determine if they are infected with HSV. A positive HSV-2 blood test most likely indicates a genital herpes infection.

Here's the fucked up part. I had a screening for STD's after Dday. I thought that they checked for HSV (herpes) but guess what? Nope. They don't unless you specifically ask and even then some doctors won't test for it (only if there is a lesion). So I thought I had a clean bill of health. WRONG!

Two and a half fucking years after R I get my first out break (right after my b-day too - life ain't fair). I made FWH look at the blisters because I couldn't see it very well but damn it hurt. He tried to talk me out of panicking but shit...we all know when your get sore in the genital area it's not exactly normal.

I was able to get a rush visit to the doctors. He looked at it and said it was what I feared. I asked how? I've been faithful for (at the time) 13 years. He said I could have had it all this time and just didn't know it (bullshit). So I made FWH get a blood test. Luckily neither of us had HSV 2 but the sores were HSV 1 and we both had it (btw one of the most common infections most people don't even leave childhood without having been exposed). However, when they looked at the numbers they said it was most likely that FWH had it for longer than me (no shit).

So, FWH had NEVER had any symptoms. I have to tell it was like dday all over again. I was devastated. He gets all the breaks. He fucks around and doesn't even have the sores to prove it...no...I do. Fucking great. I get emotionally wounded and physically get to wear the pain of outbreaks. Fucking fantastic.

I was bitter for a while. Can you tell?

Fortunately, other than the first outbreak which was pretty terrible I haven't had much in the way of outbreaks. Just feels like I'll be getting one (feels like getting the flu) and then nothing happens. It just makes me mad that I get to wear this label and I didn't do a fucking thing to deserve it. Its humiliating. It's devastating.

But I've learned to live with it. It wasn't as god awful as I was expecting. But I dread having to tell a new doctor about this (I don't care how common it is...it wasn't common for me).

Sadly it would seem that after reading all the posts, I am the only one who has HIV because of my husband's one day affair with a woman he met on an adult website. Even though he wore a condom, he didn't think about the fact that HIV can also be transmitted through oral sex of either the man, woman, or both. Most betrayers don't even think about this and so even if they use a condom for vaginal sex, they are not aware that their unprotected mouths can become a lethal weapon for their partner. I'm so sorry for all of you because it's very hard to heal when there is such a constant reminder. Hugs to all.

Most betrayers don't even think about this and so even if they use a condom for vaginal sex, they are not aware that their unprotected mouths can become a lethal weapon for their partner.

Thank you, Elisabeth Ann! I just think that this is so VERY important, and that most WS's DO NOT use condoms during oral sex, and that there are so very many people that think that just because their spouse told them that they did use a condom, that they are safe...THEY ARE NOT if they didn't use one during oral also!

I also think that many don't realize that even WITH the use of a condom during vaginal sex, there are still genital areas that are not covered by the condom. This method of transmission is rare, but it could happen. Basically there is NO such thing as safe sex, other than sex between monogamous partners, or abstinence.

I do hope that the message gets out, especially to the JFO people that STD testing should be their VERY first priority when they first find out their partner has been unfaithful. AND, that they should DEMAND every single STD test available. Most people are in such shock initially, that we ignorantly leave every decision up to our doctors, and as some of our posters have attested to, not all docs are testing for everything, or explaining that repeat testing may be necessary, or that certain STDs may not show up initially, etc...

Elisabeth Ann, I suspect you may not be the only one with HIV, but probably just the only one brave enough to post about it. YOU are our SI hero, I hope you know that, and that you will continue to warn everyone that 'monkey business' is not just monkey business, but it is potentially 'deadly' behavior.

Cheating is not a joke. It is not funny. "I only did it once" or "things got out of control and it just happened" or "I needed attention" or "I didn't think you loved me anymore" or "you weren't giving me any" or "I was in love" or "or I found my soulmate" or "I was drunk" or "I didn't know it was going to happen and I didn't have a condom" ARE NOT REASONS to expose your partner to STD's!!!!! What, are you MORONS! If you have needs that are not being met, then work on your marriage or GET A FUCKING DIVORCE!!!! Grow up, be an adult, and quit acting like a selfish horny teenager!

Wow, sorry, that turned into a rant. But I do feel better now...

Toot-toot!

My Dr was one of those that would not test for Herpes because there was no lesion.

Should I see if I can get a different Dr to order it???

And how do I know if they checked for HPV?

Betrayedandlost,

They can do a blood test to test for Herpes without a lesion, so you can go to someone else. The only problem with the blood test is that it cannot distinguish between HSV1 and HSV2.

On a separate note to everyone, I am making an appointment to be tested for everything. Wish me luck!

Choo Choo, I'm scheduled for my Dr's visit in 2 days!!! How exciting!!!

I asked her to get tested WHILE she was sitting in the waiting room of her Dr's office for the flu. She didn't do it.

in retrospect that makes sense since she's still SCREWING OM.

Betrayedandlost,

And how do I know if they checked for HPV?

I would call the docs office and ask for a copy of the test results to be faxed to you, and that way you can look it over, and then call back later for any clarification that might be needed as to what was and was not tested for.

As far as I know, there is no test for HPV other than visual inspection for genital warts/and/or biopsy if warts are found to confirm the presence of HPV. So, if there are NO warts present, there will be nothing to test...as far as I know...someone hopefully will come along with more info on this.

Overcoming, good luck! Praying you'll get a clean bill of health.

Victory,

I asked her to get tested WHILE she was sitting in the waiting room of her Dr's office for the flu. She didn't do it.

That's just WRONG! I'm so sorry. Report back the STD train when you have your results.praying for you to.

[This message edited by painpaingoaway at 8:52 PM, February 22nd (Tuesday)]

Raising my hand because I'm part of this group. My WS infected me with Trichmoniasis and Chlamydia from his multiple A's.

Still makes me cringe inside and want to punch him in the gut.....jackwagon!!

Hugs to everyone!

You can have a blood test for both HSV 1 and 2. My test was through the lesion while FWH's was through blood). We both were negative for HSV 2 but positive for HSV 1. However, as you can see sometimes it is not always so clear cut. As I learned through the copious research I did on this subject that the closer you are to your first exposure the less your likely to get an accurate test result and some clinician are not up to date on the latest information. People are people and some are better than others. My doctor didn't give any thing to get through the first outbreak. Didn't even consider it. I just had to gut out the pain until I bitched enough to get a script out of him. Total douche. I have a new doctor thanks to his callous nature.

I've learned to be a little more forceful when it comes to MY health.

http://www.herpesdiagnosis.com/blood.html

Another way to diagnose herpes is to detect antibodies in the blood that the body has made to fight off the virus after infection. These antibodies last for a lifetime after an infection. They can be detected by a blood test even if no signs or symptoms are present at the time the patient visits the doctor. Antibodies develop even when patients have never had symptoms of herpes.

Blood tests to identify antibodies are called "serology". Serology can help show that herpes infection has occurred in situations where it is difficult to obtain or to properly transport a sample for virus detection tests. If performed correctly, antibody tests can identify a person as having had an HSV-2 infection or an HSV-1 infection, or both viruses sometime in the past.

HSV blood tests are confusing to patients and to clinicians as well. Unfortunately there are many claims about blood tests--some less accurate than others. This has led to confusion about when blood tests should be done and which tests are accurate. This area of testing is so important, we have devoted an entire section of this website to providing the most current information on HSV serology. Click here http://www.herpesdiagnosis.com/blood.html to read more about HSV type specific serology.

We have given an overview on the laboratory tests to use for diagnosis. Much more information is given in separate sections below on Viral Culture, HSV FA, Viral PCR, and Serology. There are other things a health care provider can and should consider in evaluating a person with genital lesions, sores, or recurrent symptoms that could be due to herpes.

From the CDC

How is genital herpes diagnosed?

The signs and symptoms associated with HSV-2 can vary greatly. Health care providers can diagnose genital herpes by visual inspection if the outbreak is typical, and by taking a sample from the sore(s) and testing it in a laboratory. HSV infections can be diagnosed between outbreaks by the use of a blood test. Blood tests, which detect antibodies to HSV-1 or HSV-2 infection, can be helpful, although the results are not always clear-cut.

Needing to be tested for STDs was one of the worst parts of this ordeal - to think that the love of my life put me at such a great risk was almost too hard to bear.

We're both symptom free., but in the end, WW got tested for gonorrhea, chlamydia, hepatitis, HIV, and syphilis - all negative, except we're still waiting for the Chlamydia result.

She'll get tested again in a month or 2 to confirm the results.

Her OB/GYN did NOT test for Herpes, because he said at least 25% of us are carriers, so false positives are too frequent to warrant testing, so we just have to wait.

Boy, I'm getting pissed off again just writing this.

Sisoon

weell...didn't think I needed to be aboard this train...but after reading other posts it got me thinking....

Before I got pregnant with my oldest DD and then again while pregnant I was fully tested for everything. I was good both times. (this was before stbxwh and I were together)

After stbx and I were together, when I was pregnant with second DD, I had the tests again (just routine) I had Chlamydia. I had been with only stbx for over 2 years, and he supposedly had been std free and only with me. hmmm.

When 2nd dd was about 2 I went in for that lovely yearly and learned that I had HPV. Had to have chryotherapy and colposcopy (or what ever it's called). I was pretty scared there for a while.

Both times, 2 different male doctors told me I could have had it for years and it was just now showing up. Of course I chose to believe them. Now I wonder just how many times I was played for the fool in my marriage.

My H contracted Herpes from one of his FWB, but that is a bullet I have missed. I do think having a thread would be invaluable...as this thread shows, there is still some confusion and different medical opinions out there...