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Dead M (original poster member #32972) posted at 7:23 AM on Thursday, August 18th, 2011
Fightingtosurvive, thank you for your kind words and for telling me your story. Rest assured that I have already told her that I love her and that I will ALWAYS be there for her and that I don't blame her for what happened. Her therapist is one of the best, and has treated many date-rape victims. She is super nice and unlike others, she wants me to be an integral part of my wifes therapy and recovery, which is what I want also.
Cee64D ( member #21836) posted at 1:41 AM on Friday, August 19th, 2011
Speaking of buying you a beer, if you find yourself in Dayton sometime, PM me.
The hardest part of forgiveness is accepting it from others...
Me BH 44
Clarrissa FWW 44
D-Day 04 Oct, 2008
Dead M (original poster member #32972) posted at 6:47 AM on Friday, August 19th, 2011
Well, the time has come to speak of many things. I now know that my wife was indeed a victim of sexual assault. After interogation by the police, the OM admitted as much, although he didn't say what drug he used, but he was arrested this morning for this incident and another involving a woman from his office. She too had not gone to the police, believing that she was a willing participant, having been told this by the OM. My wife's incident and the investigation by my lawyer and a private company convinced this lady to file charges. I now have all the info I need to begin the process of rebuilding my marriage and restoring my wife to full health. I want all of you to know how much I appreciate your advice, and this site for being my sounding-board, during this crisis. I also want to thank my wife's employer and the employer of the OM for bending over backwards to give my lawyer and investigator all of the help that they could. If they hadn't been so concerned and open, a sexual predator might have gotten off and two ladies might still be suffering from the horrible aftermath of assault and the trauma involved. My wife will heal, I will see to it that she has the best care possible from everyone, but most importantly from her loving , devoted, adoring, and proud husband......me. I'm going to leave now, but will update periodically, and will put my $.02 in where I can be of help. THANK YOU ALL SO MUCH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
toby ( member #10337) posted at 6:59 AM on Friday, August 19th, 2011
WOW....I hope that piece of shit rots in hell!!!
Dead M, take care of your wife and be good to yourself.
-Toby
bufffalo ( member #21854) posted at 7:04 AM on Friday, August 19th, 2011
but will update periodically, and will put my $.02 in where I can be of help.
thanks, bro.....
wonderingbull ( member #14833) posted at 7:36 AM on Friday, August 19th, 2011
Good job my man.... Make sure that dirtbag gets what he deserves.... Betcha the chrome handcuffs didn't feel so good to that worthless piece of shit...
Most of all I want to tell you that in the years I've been here you've handled yourself in the most honorable of ways...
And as to your prior statement in an earlier post.... There are no "ex Marines"... Every Marine is still a Marine...
I was fortunate enough to hold Albert E. Schwab's flag, medal of honor and his gunnery badge in my hand... Since you're a Marine you will understand who, what and when PFC Schwab earned his honor on Okinawa.... You are no less nor no more than PFC Schwab... You are simply and completely a legacy of his bravery...
Coming from a guy who is proud to call Marines my friends... Well done soldier.... Now... Take care of you and yours...
WB
The secret of life is enjoying the passage of time...
James Taylor
Laura28 ( member #28997) posted at 7:39 AM on Friday, August 19th, 2011
So happy for you both.
HUGS
Laura
Married 42yrs Me BW 68Yrs Him F?WH 70yrs OWzero 1988 EA?/PA? Gaslighted. Dday May 28 2010. OW1 1994(6mths PA, EA 16+ years). OW2 2002(8yrs PA). OW3 2009(1Yr PA). Others?? Status: Not Divorcing..but.."You can't unfuck 'em"
PhoenixReborn ( member #22135) posted at 7:56 AM on Friday, August 19th, 2011
I am happy you got the truth and no infidelity was involved.
However I am so sorry your wife was raped by that maggot.
I hope he gets a taste of his own medicine when he is escorted into his cell and introduced to "Bubba".
PR
Me - XBF 40 (Fiance)
Her - XWF (who cares)
# Always trust your Gut - I didn't and am now regretting it. #
-Only give up when you won't regret giving up.-
Devastated2010 ( member #30044) posted at 9:16 AM on Friday, August 19th, 2011
I'm so very glad this has all been cleared up for you. Hopefully, justice will be done and he'll get what he deserves(though the kind of justice I'm thinking of sadly does'nt get dished out by the legal system....though maybe if he gets put in the slammer,he may find himself in the shower with some other dubious men at some point!)
It would indeed be good to hear how things are going for you from time to time.
I wish both of you the very best for your future together.
Love to you both! 
jb3199 ( member #27673) posted at 11:31 AM on Friday, August 19th, 2011
The best of luck going forward.
Make sure that your wife knows that EVERYONE here on SI is wishing for a healthy and speedy recovery.
BH-50s
WW-50s
2 boys
Married over 30yrs.
All work and no play has just cost me my wife--Gary PuckettD-Day(s): EnoughAccepting that I can/may end this marriage 7/2/14
Cee64D ( member #21836) posted at 12:00 PM on Friday, August 19th, 2011
The hardest part of forgiveness is accepting it from others...
Me BH 44
Clarrissa FWW 44
D-Day 04 Oct, 2008
ForwardMotion ( member #32608) posted at 2:22 PM on Friday, August 19th, 2011
Dead M - I'm glad you know the truth. I am horribly sorry for what you and your wife are going through. You are an honorable man and I know you will take care of her.
Peace to you both.
me - BH
'It's not the end of everything,
It's just end of everything you know.'
andyd1950 ( member #20018) posted at 2:46 PM on Friday, August 19th, 2011
FANTASTIC !!!
Something told me that she never cheated on you.
The way she told you, the guilt and remorse said it all.
Now go take care of that wonderfull woman you've got !
[This message edited by andyd1950 at 11:10 AM, August 19th (Friday)]
BS (me) - 61
fWW (her)- 57
Married 39 years March 17,2012
Forgiving, that's easy.
Trusting again, that's hard.
Forgetting, impossible!
"When you take things for granted, the things you are granted get taken away."~ RevRun.
soverybetrayed ( member #32948) posted at 3:10 PM on Friday, August 19th, 2011
I am so thankful that you found out the truth because your wife needs to know that she was never at fault. I pray that now she will begin to understand that she has nothing to be ashamed of as she was the victim.
You are a wonderful husband and I know that you will take good care of her and see that she recovers from this. Know that our prayers are with you and your wife.
Me- Happily single
Divorced 8/23/2012
I am stronger and better than before.
rivenheart ( member #13838) posted at 3:37 PM on Friday, August 19th, 2011
I'm so glad to hear your update. Please convey SI's best to your wife. We are thinking about both of you and wishing you both speedy healing and many years of devotion to one another. Be good to one another.
rivenheart ~ heartriven
Me: BW, 36 at d-day; WH, 40
leakingheart85 ( member #9710) posted at 3:55 PM on Friday, August 19th, 2011
God Bless you both.
You both have something very precious -----each other.
John
minime ( member #32840) posted at 4:09 PM on Friday, August 19th, 2011
Dead M, I am sorry about what happened and I hope that your wife, you and your marriage will heal quickly from this and you guys will be even closer than before.
You and your wife have something very beautiful naturally that most people on these boards can only hope for. Don't forget that and always remember to what length your wife went to correct what she perceived as her mistake (which it was not, she was raped). It shows how much she loves you and what her marriage means to her.
A woman like that deserved all the trust in the world.
Me: BH: 31
Her: WS: 30
Married: 5 years, 13 years together
DDay #1: 3/1/11 - Denied affair, agrees to NC (false)
DDay #2: 6/29/11 - EA/PA for 2 years
Kid: 10 months...WTF?!?
Favorite Quote: Each betrayal begins with trust
donovan ( new member #28369) posted at 8:56 PM on Friday, August 19th, 2011
I have followed your story from the beginning and believed right from the start that your precious wife was violated by this creep. Though I am still sickened and angry by this man, I am so glad that you have found the truth. My prayer is that the both of you can heal from this most horrible ordeal. I believe that you will be closer than you ever have been as a result of the process of healing. Please take care of yourself and know that you are in the thoughts of so many people. Please check back when you are able.
donovan ( new member #28369) posted at 8:57 PM on Friday, August 19th, 2011
I have followed your story from the beginning and believed right from the start that your precious wife was violated by this creep. Though I am still sickened and angry by this man, I am so glad that you have found the truth. My prayer is that the both of you can heal from this most horrible ordeal. I believe that you will be closer than you ever have been as a result of the process of healing. Please take care of yourself and know that you are in the thoughts of so many people. Please check back when you are able.
donovan ( new member #28369) posted at 8:57 PM on Friday, August 19th, 2011
I have followed your story from the beginning and believed right from the start that your precious wife was violated by this creep. Though I am still sickened and angry by this man, I am so glad that you have found the truth. My prayer is that the both of you can heal from this most horrible ordeal. I believe that you will be closer than you ever have been as a result of the process of healing. Please take care of yourself and know that you are in the thoughts of so many people. Please check back when you are able.
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