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Could this be a generational thing? I am old school. I consider oral sex sex.

When someone says we didn't have sex, I just gave him a blow job, isn't that sex? What would be your defination of what sex is?

I know that some WS's go along with this mindset, but even people who aren't trying to justify an affair have this mindset.

Thoughts? I am sure this has been covered at SI before, but I must have missed those threads.

Call me old school, but if my pecker is out and there's a woman present, it's sex.

In fact, when I was in high school (late '79-81), oral sex seemed MORE intimate.

I agree, newlyblue, a d*ck in my mouth is way more intimate to me.

My WW uses this excuse as the PA part of her A stopped at oral sex and never went to intercourse. I consider oral sex to be more intimate than intercourse (I kissed her on that mouth, think about it!).

Yes, I consider it sex.

I definitely count that as sexual contact.

(edit to answer "the what is sex to you" question)

Sex, to me, is penetration by a penis in my va-jay-jay.

That is my personal definition of sex. Oral sex, in my relationship, is used as foreplay---and sometimes as the "let me do something just for you" love-making.

and for the record if my F's dick is anywhere near another woman's mouth, Houston, we have a problem.

[This message edited by itainteasy at 10:37 AM, April 23rd (Monday)]

That depends on your definition of the word 'is'

Only those that are lying to themselves say it is not sex.

Can you contract an STD from the act?

Can you just do it openly in a crowded shopping mall and not get arrested?

Would you do it in front of your mother?

Is sex in the name?

I think yes, it is sex and if it technically is proven it isn't then it is pretty darn close.

Apparently not. I got this from my WW last week in a back and forth about her actions:

"The first time we didn't have sex, just oral on him and hands on me."

I'm sure she just meant to say they didn't have intercourse, but it still hurts when it's minimized to "I only betrayed you a little".

SMS,

Back when I was doing focus groups with high school and middle school kids about their understanding of sex and how it operates within their social groups (this was in the early 00s), they often didn't think of oral sex as sex. Many of them would say that they chose to have oral sex so they could "save their virginity," which they saw only as being given away through vaginal sex. A surprising minority also saw anal sex as another option equal to oral sex. They also often failed to see the risk of STD was not reduced or alleviated by choosing alternate methods of sex (it's actually increased with anal sex).

It was surprising to me how cavalier some of the kids were. They are now adults... so yeah, I think some of it is generational.

FWIW, oral sex is sex by my definition.

Yes it is sex. Just a different type of sex from intercourse. That is why they call it Oral Sex. To me anything that involves intimate touching is sex.

Oral sex is far more intimate in my book. In fact, I'm more hurt by WH's oral sex with OW than I am some other things he did or said. It's one of my most invasive mind movies.

He came home from that weekend and kissed me with that disgusting mouth. It makes me want to puke.

For me, oral sex is sex, period.

..ABSOLUTELY.. ..don't even get me started on this..

..traildad got it exactly right.. 'think about it'!!!!

smy

Ummm hell yes! Sucking,rubbing,grinding,humping. All sex. My definition? If you are engaging in behavior that make you a)want to cum, or b)results in cumming, you are having sex.

Yes. There is no doubt about it.

Uh... Yeah. In my opinion, anything that causes arrousel IS sexual by nature. It's just an excuse, or an attempt at downplaying the act itself. Just my two cents.

Uh... Yeah. In my opinion, anything that causes arrousel IS sexual by nature. It's just an excuse, or an attempt at downplaying the act itself. Just my two cents.

I go by the Dr. Phil philosophy "If you drop the linen and start grinnin it's sex"

With the age of the internet you would think that cyber sex would be considered 'adultery" but it isn't, at least not where I live. My stbx's piss ant attorney is trying to use that to say he never cheated on me. I just wonder how she will spin all the texts and photos she got in her discovery. Granted none were of women with stbx but it certainly proves he was soliciting people for sex. My stbx's defenition of cheating was that kissing was cheating, at least that is why he dumped his previous wife. I guess the standard changed when he cheated on me.

Yes, yes and YES!

Clue No. 1 that "oral sex" is sex?

It contains the word "sex!!!!!!"