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New Beginnings :
t/j - dating - share your w.t.f. moments

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dkv921 ( new member #36215) posted at 12:03 AM on Wednesday, July 25th, 2012

I swear I entered the who's the worst at kissing contest...

I found literally the worst kissers in the world and dated them...well...went out with them until I kissed them...

I finally found someone who doesn't suck at kissing and whamo! I'm lost...

Must be my "thing"

DD - now 9 years old
Divorced 5 years; multiple affairs

posts: 20   ·   registered: Jul. 22nd, 2012   ·   location: PA
id 5941329
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cissi ( member #21737) posted at 12:11 AM on Wednesday, July 25th, 2012

Sad, didn't the guy also make you pay for your own burger? I seem to remember that.

GrievingMommy - why did he get a murder charge if she OD'd on his pain medications? Didn't she take them herself, willingly?

posts: 1541   ·   registered: Nov. 22nd, 2008   ·   location: SoCal
id 5941339
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hexed ( member #19258) posted at 12:41 AM on Wednesday, July 25th, 2012

ahh yes...bad dates

the country bar

I had been talking with this guy for about 10 days on the phone. He'd tried to ask me out on short notice for the previous weekend. i said no b/c it was short notice and i had plans to sit on my butt and watch TV.

The following weekend we agree to meet at a popular country bar about 45 min from each of our homes. I tell him upfront i don't dance though i'm willing to learn.

I show up and the bartender KNOWS him and promptly hands him the usual and makes it a double. He then turns to me and says "Seems like a good night to get really drunk! Order whatever you want, I'm buying." Date wanders off while i get my drink. WTF? OK - I'm already annoyed. Next thing the phone rings and he takes the call and talks for a while. I'm just about out of there with that.

He proceeds to chat with about 4 different women on the way to a table. We talk a little bit and then he just grabs some woman and heads to the dance floor. He didn't even ask me. I'm done at that point but its almost comical. I start chatting with some guy that's there. He comes back and is annoyed I'm chatting up his friend.

He then proceeds to hang out and make several inappropriate comments. Talks about himself endlessly and continues to drink heavily. I'm ready to bail out and head home when he says (not even in the form of a question) "theres a hotel just a couple blocks away we can stay there." Then he smacks me on the ass. WTF? Seriously?

At that point, I pulled him in close to me and whispered in his ear "I'm the best thing you're never gonna have" poured my drink on his feet. I walked up to the bar and paid for my two drinks and left.

Still waiting for him to call and ask for my second date.

But that's just a lot of water
Underneath a bridge I burned
And there's no use in backtracking
Around corners I have turned

“Many of us crucify ourselves between two thieves - regret for the past and fear of the future.” -foulton oursler

posts: 9609   ·   registered: Apr. 24th, 2008
id 5941376
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Williesmom ( member #22870) posted at 12:50 AM on Wednesday, July 25th, 2012

Oh, Oh - I remembered another one.

I was on POF for a while. My pic on there had me with the dogs - I was in my bare feet.

I had one guy that would message me every night about my feet with questions like:

Are you wearing slippers? I am.

Are your toenails painted? What color?

I'm wearing socks tonight, are you?

This went on for weeks. I now wear foot coverings in all profile photos.

You can stuff your sorries in a sack, mister. -George Costanza
There is a special place in hell for women who don't help other women. - Madeleine Albright

posts: 9299   ·   registered: Feb. 15th, 2009   ·   location: Western PA
id 5941389
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GrievingMommy ( member #28127) posted at 1:21 AM on Wednesday, July 25th, 2012

OMG, I too discovered some men have foot fetishes. lol

cissi, that's what his atty argued too (that she is the one that OD'd by taking pills) but I guess they figured he was careless with a controlled substance and she was in a vulerable state (drunk). I kinda felt bad for him as SHE is the one who took the drugs on her own accord.

[This message edited by GrievingMommy at 7:22 PM, July 24th (Tuesday)]

Me - Now 36 y/o
WXH: Now 45 y/o and 18+ hrs away -NPD asshole now onto wife #3.
My sweeties: 5 yr old B/G twins. 90% custody (or more) since 14 months old.
D-Day 4/4/10 PA('s?) & EA's - D'd 7/11

posts: 1691   ·   registered: Apr. 4th, 2010   ·   location: Upper Midwest
id 5941426
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cmego ( member #30346) posted at 1:24 AM on Wednesday, July 25th, 2012

I'll play!

So, I was only on Match a few days, and had lots of strange contacts. This one is, by far, the strangest.

This man sent me the first email and it simply said something like: I'm headed out to my boat, wanna join me?

Then, 2 hours later again: OK, it's time to hit the dock, maybe you'll stop by!

I see that I had 2 messages from him and did go to look at his profile. I wasn't interested, mostly because I was getting a little creeped out, and he is about 10 years older than me. I didn't respond to the messages right away.

About 1 hour later (after checking his profile), I receive this message:

sniff

went out, got the boat at the marina, fished a little, came back for breakfast and to stock up on ice (and beer). saw you looked at my profile!, but you no write me back.

i is sad :'(

siiiiiigh......i hates

KL

Seriously. I couldn't block him fast enough. The baby talk? creepy. sick, sad.

me...BS, 46 years old.
Divorced

posts: 4745   ·   registered: Dec. 9th, 2010   ·   location: South
id 5941431
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WhiteWolfWinning ( member #12475) posted at 1:29 AM on Wednesday, July 25th, 2012

I have no stories to share (I'm not sure, but I think that's a GOOD thing... ). Still, I had to post to tell you that I am sitting here laughing like a hyena.

i needed a good laugh today. Thanks, guys!

Wolf

Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply, Speak kindly. Leave the rest to God

Thank you, Lord, for the lightness of my burdens

posts: 8276   ·   registered: Oct. 29th, 2006   ·   location: midwest
id 5941437
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caregiver9000 ( member #28622) posted at 1:35 AM on Wednesday, July 25th, 2012

omg, Sad! I read your post and this

I had just reactivated my cupid.com membership. Part of my profile is about my love of hiking.

I read as ....my love making.

I may have whiplash from the double take.

I had to block a guy that messaged me with hey!!!!!!!

and then

What ya doing????????????

We should meet!!!!!!!!!!!!!

call meeee!!!!!!!!!!!! (phone number)

I hope you call me!!!!!!!!!!!!!

all separate messages. I ignored that flurry and he went away for about two weeks. Then, repeat with a

remember me???????????????

I replied that I was not interested did not comment on the abundant waste of !!!!! he went away for a week and then came back......... remember me????????????? BLOCK.

this online thing is a lot of work and you guys get way more entertaining stuff. I am not usually entertained so much as worn out.

Me: fortysomething, independent, happy,
XH "Stretch" (and Skew!) ;)
two kids, teens. Old enough I am truly NO CONTACT w/ NPD zebraduck
S 5/2010
D 12/2012

posts: 7063   ·   registered: May. 27th, 2010   ·   location: a better place
id 5941444
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Threnody ( member #1558) posted at 3:22 AM on Wednesday, July 25th, 2012

I had a nice evening out with a pleasant man, about 5 years older than me, and I was very comfortable. He was polite, considerate, and really a gentleman. We had great conversation, and he was handsome (to me -- I have a thing for geeky-hot). The date was supper and a walk along the Serpentine Wall in Cincinnati, at the time a romantic and public first date. He asked permission before taking my hand as we strolled along, talking about theater and books (he attended the conservatory there, I was still performing). The date went so well that I was really looking forward to the first kiss. Having dated many actors and singers, I had this inkling he was going to knock my socks off with that kiss.

Everything was perfect. At the end of the date, he drove me home. During the drive, he asked for another date, and I agreed.

At my doorstep, he leaned in for The Kiss. Oh my gosh, I was shaking. I was excited and thrilled and happy and... wow. I remember how my heart was pounding. Here it is! Here it is! This is going to rock.

He brushed my lips with his, then...

... sucked. my. chin.

I thought he missed. I backed up a bit and laughed, and said something like "Oops, we still need training wheels with each other." He laughed too and agreed, then came back in for...

... more. chin. sucking.

I backed up and just looked at him. He smiled at me, like this was all normal. He said, "Again?"

Uhhhhh.

I came down with a really nasty virus (I said) so couldn't make the second date. We made no plans for a third.

If that had happened now that I'm in my forties, I'd have asked him to pluck a few of the chin hairs down there with his teeth, since he was in the area.

“If you don't like my opinion of you, you can always improve.” ~ Ashleigh Brilliant
"Great love requires determination." ~ tryingtwo
"Don't try to win over the haters, you're not the jackass whisperer." ~ Brene Brown

posts: 14329   ·   registered: Jun. 6th, 2003   ·   location: Middle-of-Diddly, TX
id 5941608
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better4me ( member #30341) posted at 3:30 AM on Wednesday, July 25th, 2012

I talked with a guy on OKCupid for about 3 weeks, texts, emails, and phone calls. We were going to meet but his schedule kept getting busy, finally he arranged to come to my town. 4 days before the scheduled meeting I finally googled him. Found out that his age on OKC was youngerthan the ages of his younger siblings he had told me about. He had lied about his age, which I gather is pretty common. I called him and said, "so, I was doing a little exploring today". His reply, "Did the Florida stuff come up?" I played smart and said "yes it did...care to tell me about that?"

He proceeded to tell me about being set up by the Feds and doing PRISON TIME for Boiler room sales of stocks. Of course he was innocent. I asked why he hadn't told me and he said, "It isn't something you bring up until you meet in person". WTH.

Oh, and he had fudged on his age by 5 years because his daughter told him, "Dad, no one is going to date a 61 year old" Um, yeh...

He still tries to engage me through emails. Not. Going. To. Happen.

I always google them now!

[This message edited by better4me at 9:34 PM, July 24th (Tuesday)]

DDay 11/17/2010 BW:58
Happily remarried!

posts: 4246   ·   registered: Dec. 9th, 2010   ·   location: Missouri
id 5941616
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GrievingMommy ( member #28127) posted at 3:38 AM on Wednesday, July 25th, 2012

OMG Threnody you literally had me laughing out loud! Your chin? How the hell could do he that and think he was kissing you, and twice?!

What a shame as he sounded great....till the chin kiss.

Me - Now 36 y/o
WXH: Now 45 y/o and 18+ hrs away -NPD asshole now onto wife #3.
My sweeties: 5 yr old B/G twins. 90% custody (or more) since 14 months old.
D-Day 4/4/10 PA('s?) & EA's - D'd 7/11

posts: 1691   ·   registered: Apr. 4th, 2010   ·   location: Upper Midwest
id 5941625
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noone ( member #34455) posted at 3:41 AM on Wednesday, July 25th, 2012

best.thread.ever! You guys have been making me laugh like mad! It's all kinds of fabulous. Thank you for sharing for others enjoyment...and education!

what the caterpillar believes is the end of life, the butterfly knows is just the beginning

posts: 451   ·   registered: Jan. 7th, 2012   ·   location: Hell
id 5941630
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WhiteWolfWinning ( member #12475) posted at 3:56 AM on Wednesday, July 25th, 2012

Now, I am peeing.

Chin suckers???

OMG.

Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply, Speak kindly. Leave the rest to God

Thank you, Lord, for the lightness of my burdens

posts: 8276   ·   registered: Oct. 29th, 2006   ·   location: midwest
id 5941648
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Sad in AZ ( member #24239) posted at 4:54 AM on Wednesday, July 25th, 2012

No, cissi; the guy who kept telling me how good he was had me pay my own way; I don't really mind, because, after all, he was so good...

I also had the guy who was descended from saints & kings and the two guys who wanted me to move in with them to help pay their mortgages because they were about to lose their houses...

I guess it's sort of like the air gets thinner as you go up higher; the dating pool gets swampier as you get older...

You are important and you matter. Your feelings matter. Your voice matters. Your story matters. Your life matters. Always.

Me: FBS (no longer betrayed nor a spouse)-63
D-day: 2007 (two years before finding SI)
S: 6/2010; D: 3/2011

posts: 25351   ·   registered: Jun. 3rd, 2009   ·   location: Arizona
id 5941713
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LostandGuilty ( member #30493) posted at 5:14 AM on Wednesday, July 25th, 2012

These are so funny. The "chin kisser" is my favorite. These guys really give my gender a bad name.

"In three words I can sum up everything I've learned about life: it goes on" - Robert Frost

BH (36)
DS (16)
DD (14)

posts: 226   ·   registered: Dec. 22nd, 2010   ·   location: FL
id 5941735
smile1

MelisssaZZZ ( member #25953) posted at 9:48 AM on Wednesday, July 25th, 2012

well, was inet dating site. started to 'talk' to a guy. age - 42 or so.. so, we agree to meet.

he arrives.. wearing long leather coat. bright brown..

then. we start talking - he has taken a copy of his painting with him - starts to show them to me. When i ask him what he does for living. he says he helps people on internet to look for houses. and no, he is not an estate agent. then he likes painting. OK.

so ask how he likes living in the neighbourhood he told me he lives in. well apparantly he does not live there, he lives in courntry side with his father, but 'wants' to buy a 2bedroom flat in the neighbourhood. OK.

then i ask him why he is still single (hmmm at this point I am taking this as entertainment value and really wnat to hear what he has to say..). apparantly the girls he fin psysically attractive he finds nothing to talk about.. but the ones whic are interesting he does not find attractive. and apparantly his last encounters were with columbian girl roberta who used him for s*x. So ask, what does he mean - used him for s8x. and he says it just felt like she was using me and abusing me ...

ok, then i am saying thank you for a coffee i should get back home to my daghter..

and he starts very apssionately telling me how giving birth is the process which makes women extremely uns*xy and if would have known i have a child he would have never asked me out. that he ould prefer to find someone who does not have kids..

have to say this is still the best 'dumping' expierence i had.. saved me to do that

Me BS - 40
WH 42
1 child - 9y
married 5 yrs, together 7
DD1 midmarch 09
DD2 early june 09
some more DD's of course - cannot bother to list

Status: Divorced Oct 2011

Him: not with OW anymore. She grew up and ditched him..

posts: 1669   ·   registered: Oct. 23rd, 2009   ·   location: London, UK
id 5941849
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Nowhere Man ( member #19134) posted at 2:31 PM on Wednesday, July 25th, 2012

It's interesting that all the stories posted are from women about weird men.

Are there no weird women out on these sites?

And with all these guys for competition, why does it seem so hard for "normal" guys to compete?

posts: 439   ·   registered: Apr. 15th, 2008
id 5942059
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beingmiranda ( member #32519) posted at 2:35 PM on Wednesday, July 25th, 2012

This definately ranks as one of the better threads of SI.

Last year I met a guy on OKCUPID. Lived about a mile away! He was 43 and I was 35. Pictures all look great. First date he shows up and I am pleasantly surprised. Looked so much better then his pictures and looked much younger then his age. We have a nice time and I agree to second date. During second date I start getting interrogated about why I *chose* him and only him. Just real creepy conversation. Second date ends on somewhat of a sour note simply because he's asking me too many weird questions. A few days go by and he starts texting me asking me for pictures of my chest with real specific instructions. Don't have my face in the picture. And be generous showing the nipples. When I respond back with "sorry dude, ya got the wrong girl here" he says "I thought we had a great time together and you were ready to take this a step further. No man. I'm ready to take this three steps back. NEXT!

Me: now 41
Him: up and left for OW
OW: old maid now 40 with biological clock ticking, desparate for a baby.
Divorced the cheater - 8/2011
Married the most AMAZING man - 10/2013

posts: 838   ·   registered: Jun. 17th, 2011   ·   location: NJ
id 5942067
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completeshock ( member #19334) posted at 2:42 PM on Wednesday, July 25th, 2012

I had one that thought a wet willy (you know, sticking your wet finger in someone's ear - I realize this could be interpreted many ways ) would turn me on. This was foreplay to sticking his giraffe-like halfway down my throat. I next'ed him pretty quick.

Sometimes you have to forget what you want and remember what you deserve.

posts: 1757   ·   registered: Apr. 30th, 2008   ·   location: East Coast
id 5942083
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Dreamboat ( member #10506) posted at 3:20 PM on Wednesday, July 25th, 2012

And people wonder why I don't date...

And it's hard to dance with a devil on your back
So shake him off
-- Shake It Out, Florence And The Machine

posts: 17695   ·   registered: Apr. 25th, 2006   ·   location: A better place :)
id 5942169
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