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joeboo ( member #31089) posted at 4:53 AM on Friday, December 28th, 2012
This really sucks. Pun intended. I'm married to a vacuum cleaner.
This really sucks. Pun not intended. I have described this scenario before and someone posted a type of disorder that is associated with this behavior. I live this. When I stand my ground, my fww backs off and is very nice. When I start to relax, "she" creeps back in. The only difference is that now I recognize "her".
Thanks for the post. Too bad we couldn't cure this with a really big cork.
ThoughtIKnewYa (original poster member #18449) posted at 10:28 PM on Sunday, December 30th, 2012
bump. 
homewrecked2011 ( member #34678) posted at 11:16 AM on Wednesday, January 23rd, 2013
Thank you!!!!
Also, sometimes their going NC with US sometimes causes us to run close to try to get into the Hoover....
The real them is the bad them, not the other way around.
Sometimes He calms the storm. Sometimes He lets the storm rage, but calms His child. Dday 12/19/11I went to an attorney and had him served. Shocked the hell out of him, with D papers, I'm proud to say!D final10/30/2012Me-55
nowiknow23 ( member #33226) posted at 1:36 PM on Monday, April 8th, 2013
Bump. 
You can call me NIK
And never grow a wishbone, daughter, where your backbone ought to be.
― Sarah McMane
SisterMilkshake ( member #30024) posted at 5:22 PM on Thursday, April 11th, 2013
BW (me) & FWH both over half a century; married several decades; children
d-day 3/10; LTA (7 years?)
"Oh, why do my actions have consequences?" ~ Homer Simpson
"She knew my one weakness: That I'm weak." ~ Homer Simpson
DecimatedHeart ( member #37657) posted at 8:40 PM on Thursday, April 11th, 2013
Thank you SM, I really did need to read this! I am so easily sucked back in. He's not a Hoover, he's a Dyson!
Me, BS 43
Him WH 43 - LTA, EA/PA
Together 25 years
DD14 - the love of my life
DDay#1 11/10/2012
DDay#4 4/5/2013 (NC broken AGAIN)
DDay#5 10/8/14 - caught him reading an "old" email from OW.
D seems like the only option.
nowiknow23 ( member #33226) posted at 6:18 PM on Saturday, May 18th, 2013
Bump.
You can call me NIK
And never grow a wishbone, daughter, where your backbone ought to be.
― Sarah McMane
myperfectlife ( member #39801) posted at 2:44 AM on Monday, August 5th, 2013
Bump.
Needed to see this today! Thank you thank you!
I cannot be responsible for another's personal growth.
DDay#1 of a "cheatillion" 4/1/13
Divorce final 11/04/13
StepAside ( member #29826) posted at 4:23 PM on Wednesday, October 9th, 2013
Don't change any of your boundaries or allow them to be broken during a hoover.
Don't relax or give up on any consequences of previous poor decisions for the abuser.
Don't stop any healthy activities or relationships you may be engaged in elsewhere.
Don't assume the hoover will last forever.
Don't use a hoover to bargain for a better life. You are setting up the abuser to break a promise and setting yourself up for a disappointment.
I think I may be guilty of the last one, does that make me a sucker? (pun!)
Me 48yrs, king of douchebagastan- 50yrs STD infected bankrupt NPD sociopathic drunk thief
countless A's, he is a predator that targets losers like himself
Last Dday 04/12/2010-Divorcing if/when his cumdumpsters lend him some $ or balls to file
StillLivin ( member #40229) posted at 4:06 PM on Monday, January 6th, 2014
Bump. For myself so I don't forget and for others posting away after the holidays and WS feeling regret but not showing true R.
"Bitch please a good man can't be stolen." ROFLMAO - SBB: 7/2/2014
badmedicine ( member #41692) posted at 7:13 PM on Monday, January 6th, 2014
Thanks, StillLivin!
Some of this applies to my current situation. I just don't want to wait and see. I guess that means I already know.... 
"The wishbone will never replace the backbone." -Will Henry
"This wasn't just plain terrible, this was fancy terrible. This was terrible with raisins in it." -Dorothy Parker
cl131716 ( member #40699) posted at 7:19 PM on Monday, January 6th, 2014
Me BS 33 Him WS 37
Together 6 years, married almost 4 years
D-day: 07/23/13 EA with COW
D-day: 12/27/13 found out about a past kiss
D-day: 05/30/16 Saw first text message from new COW
D-day: 09-08-16 Dr. Fone confirmed EA
Kitty70 ( member #41939) posted at 4:12 PM on Tuesday, January 14th, 2014
This is good info. I was hoovered for 9 years and actually just broke up while being hoovered. It was a tough decision since during the most recent vacuuming some major changes were being made. It took strength to ignore it and to tell myself it was too late for any good-will gestures.
Me: BGF, 43
Him: WBF, 35
Together 9 years, moved in 8/15/2013
loveisareddress ( member #36474) posted at 5:34 PM on Tuesday, January 14th, 2014
Turn off the vacuum sweeper honey.
You're wasting electricity.
Scorched earth-Like Peter the Great, he burns up his own territory in order to gain the upper hand while his own people suffer.
I don't need you to be happy. I just need you to leave me alone when I am.
velvethammer ( member #40437) posted at 7:11 PM on Tuesday, January 14th, 2014
Bump so I can refer to this too although I'm in break up land because I've already recognized his Hoovering and want no part of it.
nowiknow23 ( member #33226) posted at 5:17 PM on Wednesday, January 15th, 2014
You can call me NIK
And never grow a wishbone, daughter, where your backbone ought to be.
― Sarah McMane
Kitty70 ( member #41939) posted at 12:39 PM on Sunday, February 16th, 2014
Me: BGF, 43
Him: WBF, 35
Together 9 years, moved in 8/15/2013
cantaccept ( member #37451) posted at 1:55 PM on Sunday, February 16th, 2014
Thank you for bumping. So need to remember this!
Why is it so hard to remember it is not real?
"I'm still standing better than I ever did. Looking like a true survivor, feeling like a little kid" Elton John
I would now like to be known as Can!
dday October 21,2012
dday December 20, 2013
wh deleted
I attempted R, he was a lie
Dobegirl ( member #41837) posted at 2:00 PM on Sunday, February 16th, 2014
Thanks for bumping this Kitty!
Omg this is so the jackass!! This is really good info. He has done this to me for years. And it worked on me.
He still is trying to do it with 800 miles apart between us. Constant texting at all hours. Sent flowers to my work on Vday. Sending me pictures of us. Trying to guilt me.
Only difference now is I'm stronger. It's like I came out of my own fog. I recognize it and his manipulating ways. And I'm not falling for it!!!
[This message edited by Dobegirl at 8:04 AM, February 16th (Sunday)]
Me- BS 44 Always faithfull
Him- WS 44
2 mo. EA/PA with 25 yr. old slut that stroked his ego, OL profiles, CL ads
Married 8 years-No kids together
DDay-11/21/12...and many more
False R 2 LONG years
Time is a thief when your undecided
Kitty70 ( member #41939) posted at 2:40 PM on Sunday, February 16th, 2014
I needed this, especially after a Valentine's Day when all the stops were pulled out.
Me: BGF, 43
Him: WBF, 35
Together 9 years, moved in 8/15/2013
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