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General :
"OM's Rules" Un-f#$king-believable and I'm controlling???

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 mikeromeo21 (original poster new member #37935) posted at 8:16 PM on Sunday, January 13th, 2013

So I ran across this list of rules for my WW from current OM:

The three main rules are-

1. Obey me

2. Respect me

3. Honor me

At all times-

-No shaving, this means trimming too, i.e pussy, armpits, or legs til told by me to do so.

-No panties unless their g-strings or thongs and I will check.

-Must get all food and drink approved before consuming unless predetermined.

-You will stop for 30 minutes to think and talk to me about what you thought 5 times a week.

-You must check in, in the morning when you wake up.

-Must check in during the day, if we're not already talking, every two hours.

-Keep me informed on everything you do, i.e. where you are going, who will be with you, and what you will be doing. Must also be approved before hand, which means asking permission too.

-You do not question what I tell you to do, because it usually means it's for your own good.

-Make yourself available to me 24/7 for my use.

-Do not make eye contact with other guys unless it is in a professional manner.

-You will be anal trained.

-You will try anything once with me.

-Must go through a body exam.

-Must take care of all requests within a two hour time frame of acknowledgement.

-Must ask permission to play with yourself.

-No cumming until I give you permission.

-If I say no, it's a no, don't keep asking.

-Clothing must be approved, skirts and dresses are preapproved.

-You will not waste a drop of my cum, doesn't matter where I cum.

-You will go to bed when I go to bed.

She had asked me about 2 months ago if the thought of something made you sick to your stomach it's probably wrong and you shouldn't do it. This was in reference to this mother fucker demanding she sleep with another woman, to prove her worthiness, after he found out we were still intimate. She said it absolutely made her sick to her stomach thinking of doing that and later told me she had ended the relationship. Apparently not.

She can't even see how low she has sunk and what this type of relationship will do to her. She has a history of eating disorders and now she has to have all food and drink approved, WTF???

Certainly explains how filthy this house is (I'm no longer in the home}. House smells foul, mold in the bathrooms, piles of dirty laundry, cat puke and shit that hasn't been cleaned up in weeks, countertops full of dirty dishes, pots and pans. Her dog that is tearing the house apart. Kids not being adequately or properly supervised.

If it wasn't for the possibility that she may bring this fucker around my kids I would find her pathetic downfall amusing.

posts: 31   ·   registered: Dec. 29th, 2012
id 6175375
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roughroadahead ( member #36060) posted at 8:25 PM on Sunday, January 13th, 2013

What... the.... wow.

I'm sorry, I have no words. Please keep your kids safe!

BS-Me 30s
WS-Him 30s
D-Day 4/2012 (Insisted EA only)
D-Day 5/2012 (Did I say EA? Ummm..)
Numerous other TT/broken NC d-days until S 1/2013. D settled 11/2013
MOW-coworker, 40s.
2 DS and DD all w/autism

posts: 751   ·   registered: Jul. 9th, 2012   ·   location: USA
id 6175379
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homewrecked2011 ( member #34678) posted at 8:25 PM on Sunday, January 13th, 2013

Have you seen an attorney just to ask questions?

My atty said in SC the person in the A doesn't get the kids....

Sometimes He calms the storm. Sometimes He lets the storm rage, but calms His child. Dday 12/19/11I went to an attorney and had him served. Shocked the hell out of him, with D papers, I'm proud to say!D final10/30/2012Me-55

posts: 5520   ·   registered: Jan. 30th, 2012
id 6175381
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Mousse242 ( member #6330) posted at 8:27 PM on Sunday, January 13th, 2013

You need to get your kids out of that house.

posts: 5485   ·   registered: Jan. 27th, 2005   ·   location: Chicago
id 6175383
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Shockleader ( member #36827) posted at 8:30 PM on Sunday, January 13th, 2013

#22- It rubs the lotion on it's skin...

Dear God, that list/mind movie is one for the ages... Child protective services will be called yesterday.

D-Day spring 2012
Me BS 53
Xcheater... Who cares.
One DD 25
Married 23 years
Divorced 12/23/13 Fu*king A!

The cruel, the unkind, those without honor, feast on the tender heart...

posts: 678   ·   registered: Sep. 13th, 2012
id 6175385
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cryingdaily ( member #7276) posted at 8:31 PM on Sunday, January 13th, 2013

How did you find this list?

Can you get pics of the condition of the house?

How do you know she doesn't have him around your kids?

Have you discussed any of this with an attorney?

This is a serious problem. Wow.

posts: 14418   ·   registered: Jun. 1st, 2005   ·   location: Massachusetts
id 6175387
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WarehouseGuy ( member #6037) posted at 8:31 PM on Sunday, January 13th, 2013

Unfucking-believable is an understatement. This guy is a sick, twisted asshole.

I hope your kids never have to see or be around this so-called person.

WHG

[This message edited by WarehouseGuy at 2:35 PM, January 13th (Sunday)]

If you see your ex with someone else don't be jealous. Our parents taught us to give our old,used toys to the less fortunate.

posts: 7042   ·   registered: Dec. 15th, 2004   ·   location: Michigan
id 6175388
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JanaGreen ( member #29341) posted at 8:31 PM on Sunday, January 13th, 2013

Is this some 50 shades of grey kinky game or is he just a regular garden variety abusive asshole?

posts: 9505   ·   registered: Aug. 17th, 2010   ·   location: Southeast US
id 6175389
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gonnabe2016 ( member #34823) posted at 8:35 PM on Sunday, January 13th, 2013

This is a *current* list? From an OM that she is *currently* involved with? These are *rules* that she is supposed to be following right now?

That list is some seriously fucked up shit. And I'm not talking in a delusional WS way. I'm talking sinister and psychopathic. And evil.

If your WW is *following* these rules or even still talking to a person that believes it is okay to write this shit out, then I seriously question her mental state (<--NOT said sarcastically).

Wow.

eta:

****#22- It rubs the lotion on it's skin****

^^^this^^^ was the same type of picture that came into my mind when I read that list.

And I don't even care if that list was written in the bent of just being some *kinky* twist in the relationship. That is fucked up.

[This message edited by gonnabe2016 at 2:38 PM, January 13th (Sunday)]

"Oh, what a tangled web we weave when first we practice to deceive." - Sir Walter Scott

In my effort to be *concise*, I often come off as blunt and harsh. Sorry, don't mean to be offensive.

posts: 9241   ·   registered: Feb. 15th, 2012   ·   location: Midwest
id 6175390
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standingonmarble ( member #31217) posted at 8:37 PM on Sunday, January 13th, 2013

Document everything and save your kids from this 50 shades of fucked up!

Call CPS about the house and see if they will remove the kids into your care. Don't warn her or she might clean it up first. Check in with the school and see how the kids are doing there. Don't give yourself away, but keep looking anywhere and everywhere you can think of for support of her bad choices and how they affect your kids.

You can't leave the kids any chance to be around this asshole or become a victim by chance. She clearly has lost all her marbles.

At one time he was a man standing on marbles. Now I am a woman standing on marble.....

We are done fighting with each other and decide to fight FOR each other.

posts: 768   ·   registered: Feb. 17th, 2011
id 6175393
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trebleclef ( member #33488) posted at 8:38 PM on Sunday, January 13th, 2013

Bad bad news. I feel sick to my stomach for your WW and she asked for it!

This is not someone healthy - not someone you EVER want around your kids. Do whatever it takes to prevent that.

Is the house in this condition with your kids in it? If so, call child protective services.

True remorse isn't followed by a "but".

posts: 1812   ·   registered: Sep. 30th, 2011   ·   location: Alberta
id 6175394
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inknots ( member #22132) posted at 8:52 PM on Sunday, January 13th, 2013

As Jana said, this sounds like it was lifted from 50 Shades. Sounds like he's either into BDSM or has read the book and is trying to emulate it. Don't see how anyone could find it sexy to have to tell someone else what they ate and when and have a panty inspection. What a dick.

posts: 919   ·   registered: Dec. 22nd, 2008
id 6175408
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BeyondBreaking ( member #38020) posted at 8:58 PM on Sunday, January 13th, 2013

This man sounds abusive. Where did you find his list of rules?

I would definiately show that to an attorney. After living with a psycho who had a list of abusive, controlling "rules" that I had to abide by (some of the things on there are beyond that- they are down right humiliating)- there is no way in hell I would allow my kids to be around that and exposed to that.

I have been cheated on by 3 different men, and I have more DDays than anyone ever should. I am here, just trying to pickup the pieces.

"What did you expect? I am a scorpion."

posts: 879   ·   registered: Jan. 5th, 2013
id 6175416
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Brandon808 ( member #35619) posted at 9:08 PM on Sunday, January 13th, 2013

Your WW's reaction (or lack thereof) to this list and the fact that she was with an OM who created it for her to begin with, is indicative of a deep-seated sense of worthlessness on her part. She does not want to take responsibility for her actions, for her life. The controlling OM is her choice, a reflection of both what she thinks she deserves and what she fears (decisions). I would suggest consulting your lawyer as soon as possible and seeing if you can require IC for her as part of any visitation. Seek full custody. If the OM would make those demands on her to prove her loyalty then there is no telling how he might require her to show her "loyalty" to him over her kids.

posts: 4634   ·   registered: May. 20th, 2012
id 6175426
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toomanyregrets ( member #37740) posted at 9:13 PM on Sunday, January 13th, 2013

If your kids are living in that filth, get them out, NOW.

Then call Social Services and have them inspect the house.

You should be able to get full custody if your kids are living like that.

BH - 66 - Retired
fWW - 62

"Affairs are not mistakes, they are a series of deliberate choices." - CrappyLife
"Regret is when you realize you broke your own heart.
Remorse is when you realize you broke someone else's." - Bla

posts: 745   ·   registered: Dec. 7th, 2012   ·   location: Upstate NY
id 6175427
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dameia ( member #36072) posted at 9:19 PM on Sunday, January 13th, 2013

I agree that it sounds like it came out of 50 Shades of Gray. How it is affecting your wife's life everyday is what is really concerning. Your children are currently in a very unhealthy environment and I would suggest you put your time and resources into getting them away from your WW.

Me: BS
D-Day: 7/7/12

Trust is like paper. Once it's crumpled it can never be perfect again.

posts: 1470   ·   registered: Jul. 9th, 2012
id 6175432
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Nature_Girl ( member #32554) posted at 9:26 PM on Sunday, January 13th, 2013

I implore you on bended knee to force a parenting evaluation. Beg or borrow the money necessary to have a Ph.D. psychologist conduct the evaluation PRONTO! Your wife needs serious help. YOU need to take action to protect your children. Your wife simply cannot be your concern any longer. Your focus needs to be on your children & yourself.

Me = BS
Him = EX-d out (abusive troglodyte NPD SA)
3 tween-aged kids
Together 20 years
D-Day: Memorial Weekend 2011
2013 - DIVORCED!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wJgjyDFfJuU

posts: 10722   ·   registered: Jun. 21st, 2011   ·   location: USA
id 6175440
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solus sto ( member #30989) posted at 9:36 PM on Sunday, January 13th, 2013

So, is this a Dom/sub sort of arrangement they have?

Are the kids in the house with them?

TAKE PHOTOS OF THE HOUSE.

Take the list and photos to your attorney. Get temporary orders to remove HER from the house, and for YOU to have custody.

Get the place cleaned up, and let your poor kids resume as normal a life as possible, given the fact that your wife seems to think 50 Shades is the way to go.

[This message edited by solus sto at 3:40 PM, January 13th (Sunday)]

BS-me, 62; X-irrelevant; we’re D & NC. "So much for the past and present. The future is called 'perhaps,' which is the only possible thing to call the future. And the important thing is not to let that scare you." Tennessee Williams

posts: 15630   ·   registered: Jan. 26th, 2011   ·   location: midwest
id 6175452
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Tred ( member #34086) posted at 9:46 PM on Sunday, January 13th, 2013

What the fuck? I'm sorry for you mate, this "list" is just all kinds of wrong. Get your kids out of that environment any way you can.

Married: 28 years (14 @JFO) D-Day: 11/09/11"Ohhhhh...shut up Tred!" - NOT the official SI motto (DS)

posts: 5901   ·   registered: Dec. 2nd, 2011
id 6175460
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5454real ( member #37455) posted at 9:49 PM on Sunday, January 13th, 2013

Brother, please listen to the advice you have been given here. I would actually go one step further. Call the police NOW! The list won't mean shit to the cops at first, but when they arrive on scene and witness the environment you have described it will couple with the list to show a very disturbed state of mind. IMHO at the very least they will be calling child and protective services for an emergency removal. If nothing else, they will document what they have seen, and if they don't do it automatically ask them to.

Gonna piss the OM off to no end also. This type generally is a chickenshit POS and will drop your WW like a hot potato. He won't want the drama.

BH 58, WW 49
DS 31(Mine),SD 29,SS 28(Hers),DS 16 Ours, DGS 11, DGD 8, DGS 3
D=Day #1 5/04EA (Rugswept)
D-Day #2 3/10/12, TT til 3/13/12
Married 13yrs
"I have no love for a friend who loves in words alone."
― Sophocle

posts: 5670   ·   registered: Nov. 12th, 2012   ·   location: midwest
id 6175461
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