SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

Hey ya'll!!!

So here is how everything went last night! He texted me about 10 minutes til 6 to let me know he was up the street at a collegue's house and that he would be by soon! He ended up being 10 minutes after 6 which irked me a little only cause I was on limited time.....He came to the door and I had a "mixed" reaction! I think that he is very cute! Nice face....cute smile! Only downfall....he was actually shorter than me..and I had on a pair of my lowest sandals....(I wear a lot of heeled shoes). I think he is around either my height or an inch or 2 shorter....

So...we walk out to the car and he has to get in on his side to unlock my side (something is wrong with the door lock) and he asks me if I want to get Vietnamese instead of Thai cause of a recommendation he got from his collegue. I say, SURE...and we go to this local "hole in the wall" place. It was almost dead....but the food was pretty good. I've never had Vietnamese before! 1st time for everything!

We talk a lot about our commonality....which is the hash running group and how we got involved with that. A few small things...he "rents from his mom" currently.... not sure what that means..and I didn't DELVE into details on that one.... He talked a lot about some of his nerd obsession with video games and anime...and that sort of thing..... (a little odd....but I tried to show interest)

He kept me laughing and he told me a lot of interesting stories from college and about his family. He did pay for the meal and he opened the car door for me when we left.... although we had an ODD awkward few moments when he dropped me off cause I was rushing (I was late picking up my daughter by almost a half hour and I had to go so I could get her. He had been talking and I didn't have the heart to interrupt him at the restaurant until I realized I didn't have a choice.) He unbuckled his seatbelt....(not sure why....) and had this weird look on his face.....so I hugged him and thanked him for dinner. Told him I had a good time...and enjoyed talking with him. Said a few other "probably over the top" niceities.....and then bolted for my car.

I don't know if he was trying to feel me out if he should attempt a kiss or not...but I'm glad he didn't. I don't like to kiss on the 1st date. SO......I did text him later and apologized for having to run out but that I had to get my daughter and my sister was doing me a favor. He was really nice about it.

After I had gone to bed....he texted me asking me how tall I was!

If I had to rate the date.....um...maybe a 7? I was a little disappointed he didn't compliment me at all....no "you look nice" or anything.... BUT, I had a decent time....he kept me laughing.....we had a few awkward moments....and at the end of the night I wasn't ready to bolt...I actually wished I had more time to spend with him. How do people find time to date as a single mom? I mean...I don't have a whole lot of options on childcare.....so I think I might be screwed....

I should just call up the SPCA now ....get me a few cats...and throw in the towel! That was exhausting!

[This message edited by She11ybeanz at 8:13 AM, April 26th (Friday)]

Aww, I think he sounds nice! Give him a shot, Shelly. You were talking on your first post about him about how different he is from the guys you normally date. The guys you normally date sound kind of like super hot meatheads. Not a lot of substance. This guy sounds really different. But trust me - nerdy guys are amazing! It's an adjustment for sure, but a guy who isn't so in love with himself has room in his heart to love a woman! Seriously... (Sidenote: I've had my fair share of hot guys, like the marine I briefly dated during separation, or the brazilian soccer player who I had a ONS with last winter, and I would NEVER actually date them. Bounce a quarter off their ass? Sure. Lick their abs? Definitely. Date them? Hell no. But a guy who can carry on a conversation, pays attention, goes out of his way to pick a nice restaurant for dinner? That's the kind of guy I want!)

Even if it's a little awkward, it's the first conversation you guys have had - it's bound to be a little awkward! It always gets easier as you get to know the person). And don't trash talk on video games, there are much worse things for guys to be into (like other women ) unless he's obsessed and plays hours every day. So he didn't compliment you on looking nice - I've found guys who give too many compliments are looks obsessed (including their own), and the sweet, shy guys sometimes get overwhelmed and don't know how to say it. It's kind of cute when they get flustered.

Re: Living with his mom - I'd ask why. The why can change a lot. I know a lot of people who have had to move back home for one reason or another, and it's better than sinking into debt or something, right?

A 7 doesn't sound too bad for a first date.

I'd want to know if he actually lives with his mother...

And please, don't let the height thing matter - my sweet son is a whopping 5'4" and full grown at age 17 (we had him tested as we aren't short) and I think a girl of any height would be lucky to have him!

If nothing else - you did it!!

I think the height thing might bother HIM a little bit since he asked me how tall I was....poor guy... I must admit I kinda felt like an Amazon!

and I would NEVER actually date them. Bounce a quarter off their ass? Sure. Lick their abs? Definitely. Date them? Hell no.

Yes...I agree! My XWH and Piper's sperm donor were both good looking guys with pretty much ZERO substance! XWH might have had a little more than the donor.....but not by a lot! This is definitely an adjustment. I think the mom thing scared me a little cause the sperm donor has lived in mommy's basement for 10 years now.....no good excuse except pure LAZY ASS-NESS...

I'm not writing him off just yet.....gotta kinda feel out the situation and see where it goes.... not sure why he took his seatbelt off last night in the car.... do you think he was contemplating "To pounce or not to pounce.... that is the question!"

He might have been planning to walk you to the door. A lot of guys will do that.

I have to agree with Ama. This guy sounds nice. It can be good to step away from your typical type, especially if that type has only brought you trouble in the past.

I find the awkwardness a good thing as well, I personally am very awkward until I am comfortable with someone. To me, it shows that he isn't full of himself, he may not always say the right things at the right time but he also is more likely to not be the type of guy who just tells you what he thinks you want to hear to win you over. I also don't give many complements but when I do I truly mean them and I'm not just saying it to make the person feel better about themselves or because it's what I should do.

Maybe his mom owns rental property and he is taking advantage of a good deal to get back on his feet. Many of us on SI could use that opportunity. The video game and anime would concern me a little but I think that's just because XH was addicted to video games and I am leery of anyone that lists that as one of only a few hobbies.

If this guy asks, would you go on a second date?

Sounds like a good time. You should see him again if he asks.

He probably unbuckled his seat-belt out of habit. I wouldn't read too much into that.

Definitely find out more about his living situation when you can. It's possible that he rents a place that his mom owns, or has his own living space within his mom's house. My SO was still living at home when I met him. He was still in undergrad and working full time. There was no need for him to move out and make more bills for himself!

If this guy asks, would you go on a second date?

Yes...I think I would!

He DID tell me that his mom owned rental property.....so I'm "hoping" he truly is RENTING from her but doesn't live with her..... #bestcasescenario

That is true about the walking me to my door....I didn't think about that! I actually jumped out of his car and INTO mine cause I had to go pick up Piper....and he even offered to drive me to go get her, but I told him I needed my car because of the carseat... so...it was a sweet gesture anyways...

I feel like I'm listening in to girl talk- it's bringing back memories of listening to my sisters when I was a kid haha

-Don't throw a shoe at me

-incidentally I always take my seatbelt off when dropping someone off- I think it's in case I need to get out for some reason or if I'm going in for a hug, so I'm not restricted ha

Aw... sounds like a nice time overall, Shell. And yes, he was probably thinking of walking you to your car.

I'd find out about why he's living with his mama, though. After XSO, I'm reeeeal leery about stuff like that!

Glad you had fun. 7 isn't bad at all.

I feel like I'm listening in to girl talk

You totally are.

:throws slipper at idiot85:

If this guy asks, would you go on a second date?

Shelly, dude, you answered Yes to this question. Let me ask you a follow-up question: Why don't YOU ask HIM out?

... what with it being 2013 and all.

If he's really as shy/insecure as he sounds here, he may be thinking you wouldn't want to go out again, or just be scared about asking.

Ask him out, dammit!

t/j

Bounce a quarter off their ass? Sure. Lick their abs? Definitely.

Ama - you are a bad girl!

end t/j

Shellybeanz, sounds like a lovely time

Do I need to say this? NO BOYS ALLOWED!

I must admit that pass had a good question...why don't you ask him out? That would be kind of cool.

Yay, Shelly! So glad you had a good time!

WELL..he didn't ask me out again....YET...BUT..there is a hash run tomorrow night and I haven't been to one in a LONG LONG time.... and he told me that tomorrow will be his 50th run! I asked one of my friends if they could watch Piper for me so I could go....and I think I'm gonna go to the run! That way....I get a little more time around him...even if its not one-on-one time!

Today he texted me asking me how tall I was...and I said 5'6"...and he said I was "definitely" taller than him yesterday and he is 5'8"....and I told him it must have been the heel on my sandals cause I PROMISED I wasn't an Amazon!

He just replied... I think a tall Amazon is kinda hot.. OH MY....

Bounce a quarter off their ass? Sure. Lick their abs? Definitely. Date them? Hell no.

Oh Ama, I just had my dating life flash before my eyes. Cute and dumb used to be my fortay. So weird that I ended up marrying ugly and dense.

Slight t/j

She11ybeanz, I always thought I was tall - like 5'10" or something. I only realised recently that I'm only 5'6". I guess I'm in heels so much I got used to the thinner air up there.

So nice to hear someone call 5'6" Amazon!!

I went out with a guy earlier this year who was 6'5" and I felt like a shorty even in my highest heels. We had a flat shoe date and it just didn't work for me. I prefer them around my usual height, y'know. 5'10".

Ama, sooooooo funny!

So glad you had a great date! My DD is 5'11" and her boyfriend in 5'6"!

I have been called amazon woman at 5'9.5" and with some of my heels on I am 6'1" tall. I don't mind. I love being tall.

Bring it!

ended up marrying ugly and dense.

Well looks aren't everything, but stay away from the dense ones!

Bugger that - the next guy to break my heart is going to be b.e.a....utiful.

I reckon it will suck less. At least I will be able to look at pretty whilst he is being a douche. The fact I stayed when he has a face like a smashed crab AND was acting the douche still annoys the hell out me.

[This message edited by StrongButBroken at 2:41 AM, April 27th (Saturday)]