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nowiknow23 (original poster member #33226) posted at 12:35 PM on Thursday, May 30th, 2013
I have posted before about my DD14 and her struggles, and about the residential treatment program that accepted her. The time has finally come - she will be admitted tomorrow morning.
Although I am awash in conflicting emotions, in my heart I know this is what she needs. And what DS and I need, too. We need help and support to get DD the treatment, skills, and strategies to make her day-to-day life manageable, and for us to learn to support her.
DD is scared, anxious, a little excited, and more than a little angry. She's a hot mess, to be completely honest, and I don't blame her. This is a big terrifying leap away from her safe zone and into the unknown. And it's all out of her control. She will be living at the treatment center for as long as it takes to get her on track. It could be for the summer, it could be for a year. There's no way to know right now. Uncertainty is DD's kryptonite. This girl thrives on the concrete, the plan, the schedule - the known. In some ways, I feel like I'm pushing her off a cliff. A necessary cliff, but still. 
If you are so inclined, please shine some SI comfort on DD. And if you have some to spare, DS and I could use a little as well.
You can call me NIK
And never grow a wishbone, daughter, where your backbone ought to be.
― Sarah McMane
phmh ( member #34146) posted at 12:38 PM on Thursday, May 30th, 2013
(((NIK & DD & DS)))
You've been such a supportive rock for so many of us here, that I hope you can receive the same support back from us. We're all here and rooting for you. I'm sure it will be tough, but, as you said, necessary. I know it will go well! But tons of love and hugs, anyway!
Me: BW, divorced, now fabulous and happy!
Married: 11 years, no kids
Character is destiny
MovingUpward ( member #14866) posted at 12:41 PM on Thursday, May 30th, 2013
Sending mojo and prayers.
Sad in AZ ( member #24239) posted at 12:57 PM on Thursday, May 30th, 2013
You know you're doing the right thing for all concerned. Be the mama bird and give that gentle but firm push. 
You are important and you matter. Your feelings matter. Your voice matters. Your story matters. Your life matters. Always.
Me: FBS (no longer betrayed nor a spouse)-63
D-day: 2007 (two years before finding SI)
S: 6/2010; D: 3/2011
Lucky2HaveMe ( member #13333) posted at 1:08 PM on Thursday, May 30th, 2013
The right things are not necessarily the easy things to do. Wishing you all peace through this time of transition.
HUGS!
Love isn't what you say, it's what you do.
Deeply Scared ( Administrator #2) posted at 1:34 PM on Thursday, May 30th, 2013
(((NIK & DD))) Sending loving and healing thoughts to you...stay strong.
"Don't give up, the beginning is always the hardest." My Mom:)
My tolerance for stupid shit is getting less and less.
abbycadabby ( member #27428) posted at 2:06 PM on Thursday, May 30th, 2013
Hugs to you all. I hope that she settles into a routine there and finds a new normal where she can thrive, and that she learns what she needs for when she eventually leaves the program.
Amazonia ( member #32810) posted at 2:07 PM on Thursday, May 30th, 2013
(((NIKlet)))
(((NIK)))
I remember a few months ago you had a list of 4 or 5 things that needed to happen; this was a big one on that list. I'm glad things are moving forward, even if it's tough.
"You yourself deserve your love and affection as much as anybody in the universe." -Buddha
"Let's face it, life is a crap shoot." -Sad in AZ
jo2love ( member #31528) posted at 2:34 PM on Thursday, May 30th, 2013
(((Nik, DD, DS)))
Sending mojo, prayers, and positive thoughts.
TattoodChinaDoll ( member #34602) posted at 2:37 PM on Thursday, May 30th, 2013
((((NIK and family))))
The best thing isn't always the easiest. But you're a wonderful mom and person. Keep focused on the end results.
Me: 35
WH: 37 TimeToManUp
Married: 14 years, together 19 years
3 daughters: 12, 8, 6, and 2 angel babies (2013 and 2014)
D-Day: 12/21/2011
Confronted him: 12/22/2011
This is the most difficult thing I've ever done.
simplydevastated ( member #25001) posted at 2:43 PM on Thursday, May 30th, 2013
(((HUGS))) to you and your family NIK. I can only imagine how difficult this will be for her and you, but as you said this is something she needs and will benefit from greatly.
You know we're all here for you and ready to listen and give you plenty of (((HUGS))) when you need them
Me - BS, 40 (I'm not old...I'm vintage)
Two Wonderful children - DS11, DD8
Getting my ducks in a row for divorce... finally (4+ D-Days too many - listed in profile.)
gonnabe2016 ( member #34823) posted at 2:46 PM on Thursday, May 30th, 2013
You are doing your *mom* job, which is not always easy.
My hope is that all 3 of you come through this experience much stronger people.
{{{NIK and family}}}
"Oh, what a tangled web we weave when first we practice to deceive." - Sir Walter Scott
In my effort to be *concise*, I often come off as blunt and harsh. Sorry, don't mean to be offensive.
jrc1963 ( member #26531) posted at 2:50 PM on Thursday, May 30th, 2013
Parenting is the hardest job you will ever have.
You have all my support, admiration and love... You're doing the right thing for HER and for your family.
Keep that in mind...
(((NIK, DD and DS)))
Me: BSO - 56 Him: FWSO - 79 DS - 23 D-Day - 12-11-09, R - he finally came homeYour life is an Occasion. Rise to it. - Mr. Magorium, "Mr. Magorium's Wonder Emporium"
FaithFool ( member #20150) posted at 2:54 PM on Thursday, May 30th, 2013
Sending both of you lots of courage and strength.
((NIK))
DDay: June 15, 2008
Mistakenly married Mr. Superfreak
20 years of OWs, WTF?
Divorced Dec 26, 2011
"Life is a shipwreck, but we must not forget
to sing in the lifeboats". -- Voltaire
ajsmom ( member #17460) posted at 2:58 PM on Thursday, May 30th, 2013
Sending it all your way.
AJ's MOM
Fidelity isn't a feeling...it's a choice.
"Truth has no special time of its own. Its hour is now - always." - Albert Schweitzer
____________________________________________
Me: BW - Him: 200+ # tumor removed 7/09
One AMAZING DS - 34
veritas ( member #3525) posted at 3:09 PM on Thursday, May 30th, 2013
Actions unmask what words disguise.
Love many; trust few; and always paddle your own canoe.
When you win, you teach; when you lose, you learn.
metamorphisis ( member #12041) posted at 3:14 PM on Thursday, May 30th, 2013
Sending all of you hugs and mojo. Tomorrow is a scary day for you all but hopefully things are only getting better from here on out 
Go softly my sweet friend. You will always be a part of who I am.
KeepCalm_CarryOn ( member #33374) posted at 3:24 PM on Thursday, May 30th, 2013
You are not dealing with rational people or situations. Normal thought processes won't work...story of my life.
Me- BW, 30
Him- fWh, 36
Mostly R'd, minus a few scars...bought a house and got a puppy...And baby makes 3! She arrived August 2013
TrulyReconciled ( member #3031) posted at 4:27 PM on Thursday, May 30th, 2013
((((Comfort)))))
"In a time of deceit, telling the Truth is a revolutionary act."
solus sto ( member #30989) posted at 5:02 PM on Thursday, May 30th, 2013
BS-me, 62; X-irrelevant; we’re D & NC. "So much for the past and present. The future is called 'perhaps,' which is the only possible thing to call the future. And the important thing is not to let that scare you." Tennessee Williams
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