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Sad in AZ (original poster member #24239) posted at 6:00 PM on Tuesday, June 4th, 2013
Ugh. He's been a very angry man for the past, maybe, 6 years. He was drinking excessively. He woke up two Sundays ago unable to see. The stroke has affected only his eyes, but it's to the point that he has only pinpoint tunnel vision (if he tries to read, he can see the word, but when he moves on to the next one, he can no longer see the first one.)
Mom is still slowly slipping into dementia; she is taking medication for it, but at night, she gets pretty wonky. She keeps talking about the kids never telling her where they're going and not coming home for dinner (she lives alone... 
)
My sister-in-law has been a doll--she does all kinds of things for mom including cleaning up her yard, and mom hates her. Now, SIL is going to have to devote more time to my brother, so mom's situation is going to have to change.
I almost have her convinced to move into a senior facility, but she's very paranoid (this is her normal, nondementia state) and while she wants friends, she doesn't know how to be one (never has.) She disclosed that she's come into 'a lot' of money; before I moved to TX, we moved all of her accounts from NY to AZ, so I don't know where this one came from, but she claims it's an investment account. When I asked her how much, she said, "I'm not telling you!" 
Some good thoughts would be appreciated. 
You are important and you matter. Your feelings matter. Your voice matters. Your story matters. Your life matters. Always.
Me: FBS (no longer betrayed nor a spouse)-63
D-day: 2007 (two years before finding SI)
S: 6/2010; D: 3/2011
Deeply Scared ( Administrator #2) posted at 6:02 PM on Tuesday, June 4th, 2013
(((Sad))) Sounds like alot is going on in your family...good thoughts to you and all involved
"Don't give up, the beginning is always the hardest." My Mom:)
My tolerance for stupid shit is getting less and less.
itainteasy ( member #31094) posted at 6:06 PM on Tuesday, June 4th, 2013
((((((Sad)))))))
I'll keep your family in my prayers..
ajsmom ( member #17460) posted at 6:07 PM on Tuesday, June 4th, 2013
Argh. What a plateful.
Prayers for your family.
(((SiA)))
AJ's MOM
Fidelity isn't a feeling...it's a choice.
"Truth has no special time of its own. Its hour is now - always." - Albert Schweitzer
____________________________________________
Me: BW - Him: 200+ # tumor removed 7/09
One AMAZING DS - 34
sullymeishadomi ( member #16305) posted at 6:11 PM on Tuesday, June 4th, 2013
Tred ( member #34086) posted at 6:13 PM on Tuesday, June 4th, 2013
Damn Sad, sounds like a lot going on. Sending good thoughts your way.
Married: 27 years (14 @JFO) D-Day: 11/09/11"Ohhhhh...shut up Tred!" - NOT the official SI motto (DS)
simplydevastated ( member #25001) posted at 6:14 PM on Tuesday, June 4th, 2013
I feel for you, I really do. My grandmother had alzheimer's. It's hard to see someone going through that. I went over to help her one day, she walked from the kitchen to the living room then back to the kitchen and didn't know who I was.
An assisted living facility would be a good idea for your mom. They have people that can go in and check on her form time to time and it's not quite a nursing home.
Is your brother getting some kind of treatment for his stroke? How old is you brother, if you don't mind my asking.
Sending (((HUGS))) and positive thoughts your way.
Me - BS, 40 (I'm not old...I'm vintage)
Two Wonderful children - DS11, DD8
Getting my ducks in a row for divorce... finally (4+ D-Days too many - listed in profile.)
GabyBaby ( member #26928) posted at 6:16 PM on Tuesday, June 4th, 2013
Hugs and positive thought for you and your family. 
Me - late 40s
DD(27), DS(24, PDD-NOS)
WH#2 (SorryinSac)- Killed himself (May 2015) in our home 6 days after being served divorce docs.
XWH #1 - legally married 18yrs. 12+ OW (that I know of).
I edit often for clarity/typos.
jo2love ( member #31528) posted at 6:18 PM on Tuesday, June 4th, 2013
(((Sad)))
I'm sorry for all you and your family are going through. Sending you strength and good thoughts.
wildbananas ( member #10552) posted at 6:22 PM on Tuesday, June 4th, 2013
Travel light, live light, spread the light, be the light. ~ Yogi Bhajan
authenticnow ( member #16024) posted at 6:23 PM on Tuesday, June 4th, 2013
(((Sad)))
Sending lots of good thoughts your way.
DS, you are forever in my heart. Thank you for sharing your beautiful spirit with me. I will always try to live by the example you have set. I love you and miss you every day and am sorry you had to go so soon, it just doesn't seem fair.
lieshurt ( member #14003) posted at 6:25 PM on Tuesday, June 4th, 2013
I'm so sorry. Sending good thoughts your way.
No one changes unless they want to. Not if you beg them. Not if you shame them. Not if you use reason, emotion, or tough love. There is only one thing that makes someone change: their own realization that they need to.
TrulyReconciled ( member #3031) posted at 6:39 PM on Tuesday, June 4th, 2013
Sad, I'm very sorry to hear that news.
"In a time of deceit, telling the Truth is a revolutionary act."
nowiknow23 ( member #33226) posted at 6:43 PM on Tuesday, June 4th, 2013
((((Sad)))) Holding you and your family in my thoughts. Hang in there, honey.
You can call me NIK
And never grow a wishbone, daughter, where your backbone ought to be.
― Sarah McMane
jrc1963 ( member #26531) posted at 6:49 PM on Tuesday, June 4th, 2013
(((SAD)))
That's a lot to handle. How are you taking it all?
I hold you in my thoughts while you deal with all this.
Me: BSO - 56 Him: FWSO - 79 DS - 23 D-Day - 12-11-09, R - he finally came homeYour life is an Occasion. Rise to it. - Mr. Magorium, "Mr. Magorium's Wonder Emporium"
FaithFool ( member #20150) posted at 7:36 PM on Tuesday, June 4th, 2013
DDay: June 15, 2008
Mistakenly married Mr. Superfreak
20 years of OWs, WTF?
Divorced Dec 26, 2011
"Life is a shipwreck, but we must not forget
to sing in the lifeboats". -- Voltaire
bbee ( member #17840) posted at 7:39 PM on Tuesday, June 4th, 2013
This above all: to thine ownself be true,
And it must follow, as the night the day,
Thou canst not then be false to any man.
Hamlet, Act I, Scene 3
Love all, trust a few, do wrong to none.
All's Well That Ends Well, Act I, Scene 1
still2suspicious ( member #31722) posted at 8:57 PM on Tuesday, June 4th, 2013
Sending you strength, Sad.
Me: BSHim: WHDDay: LTEA Every storm runs out of rain - Gary Allen
D final 2/23
jadedangel ( member #26979) posted at 9:54 PM on Tuesday, June 4th, 2013
((Sad))
I hate to hear that about your brother. Sounds like your sister in law will be real busy with him.
Your mother sounds like she "Sundowns". For some odd reason most dementia affected people tend to start getting worse with their symptoms at evening/night. In my opinion, I think a nursing home would be in her best interested but then again, it does depend on how far gone she is in the disease process.
IF she tends to get easily distracted, cannot hold her concentration for long periods of time, falls a lot, basically just not able to take care of her daily needs, these are things that really have to be looked at. Is she able to meet her basic needs without the assist of someone?
Divorced 2007.
EXWH died 2011
Remarried 2018!
SoVerySadNow ( member #36711) posted at 10:27 PM on Tuesday, June 4th, 2013
Wishing you only positive things. I'm sorry you are dealing with so much.
Me:BW
Him:WH
D-day(s),after years of TT and Gaslighting was Labor Day Weekend 2012, continuing for a week after. *Dammit! More TT 3/9/13
Really trending toward D- planning about it is my "happy place" now.
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