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2oldforthis ( member #19825) posted at 7:43 PM on Wednesday, June 19th, 2013
Hugs Prayers (PPGA)
It is so hard when it comes to our kids. I feel for you.
He did not see what he had in me, what I saw in him I did not have!
Love kills slowly.
scarredforever ( member #23875) posted at 8:05 PM on Wednesday, June 19th, 2013
(PPGA) My heart breaks for you.
I know what it is like to have a son who has broken my heart many times.
"Forgiveness is the fragrance that the violet sheds on the heel that has crushed it."
Mark Twain
Me-BS 54
Him-WS 55
Together 35 years
6-5-06 Day of Reckoning
Familiarity breeds contempt.
gahurts ( member #33699) posted at 12:21 AM on Thursday, June 20th, 2013
((((PPGA))))
I'm getting close with DS20 and praying I don't have to go through with it. Please find peace knowing that you are doing the right thing for him.
A friend told us the story of how his mother had to throw him ou tof the house. She was wracked with guilt. He told her many years later that it was the best thing that she could have done for him and he so appreciates it. I hope things will be better for you both in the long run.
"Strength does not come from physical capacity. It comes from an indominable will" - Mahatma Gandi
"Courage is being scared to death and saddling up anyway." - Aubrie
SisterMilkshake ( member #30024) posted at 12:46 AM on Thursday, June 20th, 2013
(((ppga))) (((ppga's whole family)))
Dealing with mental illness is heartbreaking, even more so when it is your baby. You all have been through so much hell, no one should have to go through that.
Wishing you all peace and serenity.
BW (me) & FWH both over half a century; married several decades; children
d-day 3/10; LTA (7 years?)
"Oh, why do my actions have consequences?" ~ Homer Simpson
"She knew my one weakness: That I'm weak." ~ Homer Simpson
Sad in AZ ( member #24239) posted at 1:42 AM on Thursday, June 20th, 2013
I'm so sorry. Sending you lots of strength. (((((ppga)))))
You are important and you matter. Your feelings matter. Your voice matters. Your story matters. Your life matters. Always.
Me: FBS (no longer betrayed nor a spouse)-63
D-day: 2007 (two years before finding SI)
S: 6/2010; D: 3/2011
metamorphisis ( member #12041) posted at 1:56 AM on Thursday, June 20th, 2013
Sending love PPGA.. I am so sorry you are hurting again 
Go softly my sweet friend. You will always be a part of who I am.
simplydevastated ( member #25001) posted at 2:11 AM on Thursday, June 20th, 2013
I'm so sorry (((HUGS)))
Me - BS, 40 (I'm not old...I'm vintage)
Two Wonderful children - DS11, DD8
Getting my ducks in a row for divorce... finally (4+ D-Days too many - listed in profile.)
Crushed1 ( member #6449) posted at 4:29 AM on Thursday, June 20th, 2013
~~"You can't run away from yourself"!!! Me to my H when he descended into adultery insanity.
~~Prov.15:13 "By sorrow of the heart the spirit is broken"
~~"The day breaks-your mind aches"
~STRENGTH~PEACE~HOPE~FAITH
ToTrustAgain ( member #15167) posted at 5:15 AM on Thursday, June 20th, 2013
My mother's refusal to let me come back home is what saved my life.
You did the right thing.
Hang in there!
"We will not regret the past, nor wish to shut the door on it."
Bebba1171 ( member #33857) posted at 5:30 AM on Thursday, June 20th, 2013
[This message edited by Bebba1171 at 11:32 PM, June 19th (Wednesday)]
Divorced by Interlocutory decree in May 2012. WW had an affair with a 66 yo doctor she worked for.
D-Day Sept 16. 2011.
BH- 54Me) / XWW 52
Two great kids that don't deserve this!
Bebba1171 ( member #33857) posted at 5:30 AM on Thursday, June 20th, 2013
My SO has a 19YO daughter that is a real brat.
She came home from college and pretty much decided she did not have to follow any rules since she was grown up now.
I bought my SO a book on Amazon on how to deal with kids like that.
The book said that unless you take a stand, you are essentially just "enabling" bad behavior.
It advised doing what you are doing and just like you have here, getting a support group to help you out.
If you are interested in the book, send me a PM and I will find the name of it.
I read it myself and found it very informative.
Her daughter is now living with her father. That makes it all harder to control.
My SO has some sad moments, but overall she feels much better about herself.
Hang in there
(((PPGA)))
[This message edited by Bebba1171 at 11:32 PM, June 19th (Wednesday)]
Divorced by Interlocutory decree in May 2012. WW had an affair with a 66 yo doctor she worked for.
D-Day Sept 16. 2011.
BH- 54Me) / XWW 52
Two great kids that don't deserve this!
nightsky ( member #35728) posted at 2:14 PM on Thursday, June 20th, 2013
((((ppga)))) I'm so sorry for the pain you and your family are experiencing.
You are a strong, loving, caring woman.
Strength and peace to you and your family.
BW (me) – WH (him) mid-50s Married 33 yrs
DD 6/2012 –WH has been paying $$$ for online video sex chats and calls his favorite “my girlfriend.”
"Sometimes your only available transportation is a leap of faith" Margaret Shepard
itainteasy ( member #31094) posted at 2:21 PM on Thursday, June 20th, 2013
lordhasaplan? ( member #30079) posted at 3:38 PM on Thursday, June 20th, 2013
((((PPGA & family))))
Thinking of you guys. I applaud you for making a very hard decision. my family had same decision to make with my addict brother. Very hard. But in hind site, it was really the healthiest thing to do, he was toxic for the family at that point.
BS- Me (45)D-day: 5/18/10, lies and TT till (11/26/10). Currently in R.Don't carry others crap. It's your job to fix yourself, not your spouse.
sisoon ( Moderator #31240) posted at 4:52 PM on Thursday, June 20th, 2013
fBH (me) - on d-day: 66, Married 43, together 45, same sex apDDay - 12/22/2010Recover'd and R'edYou don't have to like your boundaries. You just have to set and enforce them.
painpaingoaway (original poster member #27196) posted at 1:01 AM on Friday, June 21st, 2013
Thank you all.
I am still in anguish. I am now agonizing over my long standing unspoken fear that he may be schizophrenic/schizoaffective and misdiagnosed as bipolar.
His behavior recently has been concerning, although it could be attributed to his drug abuse.
He has been pacing a lot in the last month or so.
On Monday he told me he had lost his wallet. Again. For about the 4th time in the past year. 
I joked and said that he may need to get a GPS device for his wallet so he could find it the next time he loses it. He looked at me with complete seriousness and said, "I wouldn't ever do that because then the Feds would know where I was".
D-Day June 2009
Watch my movie: "My wayward husband's adventures in STD land":
Episode 1: youtu.be/9Jv0-d_CdYc
Episode 2: http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=8Tz822H82Gk
somanyyears ( member #26970) posted at 1:35 AM on Friday, June 21st, 2013
..((((((ppga)))))))
..sending hope and good mojo to all of your family.
..letting them sink or swim is tough for sure!
..'tough love' is tough on everybody in the mix.
smy
trust no other human- love only your pets. Reconciled I think! Me 77 Her 74 Married 52 yrs. 18 yr LTA with bff/lawyer. Little fucker died at 57.Brain tumour!
lynnm1947 ( member #15300) posted at 1:50 AM on Friday, June 21st, 2013
(((PPGA)))
Oh dear Pain, I fear his Feds remark IS really be a paranoid event. Whether it's schizophrenic, that's for a professional to decide. It doesn't sound bipolar to me, though. (((PPGA)))
Age: 64..ummmmmmm, no...............65....no...oh, hell born in 1947. You figure it out!
"I could have missed the pain, but I would have had to miss the dance." Garth Brooks
painpaingoaway (original poster member #27196) posted at 3:04 PM on Saturday, June 22nd, 2013
He called me at midnight last nite to tell me he went to his shrink appt yesterday and his meds are being changed.
I wasn't too happy to be awakened at midnight, but I was glad to know he was okay.
He sounded clear. This is all just so bizarre.
D-Day June 2009
Watch my movie: "My wayward husband's adventures in STD land":
Episode 1: youtu.be/9Jv0-d_CdYc
Episode 2: http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=8Tz822H82Gk
gahurts ( member #33699) posted at 3:23 PM on Saturday, June 22nd, 2013
It a very good thing that he still cares enough to call you and let you know that he is OK and that he saw his dr. My fear has been that if I force DS out that I will lose all contact. (((PPGA)))
"Strength does not come from physical capacity. It comes from an indominable will" - Mahatma Gandi
"Courage is being scared to death and saddling up anyway." - Aubrie
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