INYiM,
You did the right thing, exposing it...immediately.
I was one of those blunt ones. Not trying to thread jack, but I want you to know where I was coming from.
My H's A was with the daughter of his pastor (he was living away from home at the time.) They kicked him out to keep it a secret, then also told me to not come (I hadn't ever been there anyway.)
My church (our home church for years) handled it much better. H tearfully apologized publicly to the entire congregation (his idea, not theirs), and was welcomed back by most...one good friend of ours would not forgive him for months, and openly avoided him...that was good for WH to experience.
A clandestine pedophilia who had tried to take advantage of our son there while I was dealing with my H's A (H was still living out of town, and the p. offered to take our son biking and camping as a "male mentor and friend".) was formally expelled from our congregation and several other congregations he was attending and "helping" at after we exposed him, because he kept lying about his behavior and would not repent. That meant that he would continue preying on vulnerable kids/families.
We even got the police involved, and hopefully they are keeping tabs on him, so when he crosses the line and evidence can cause him to be arrested and incarcerated, he will finally be arrested. In our case, the police said he got away with it...it was one kid's word against an adult. No other evidence or major laws broken. Just contributing to the delinquency of a minor, and the DA didn't want to bother with it.
Is your pastor going to handle this privately or publicly? Is he going to remove her from her post permanently? He should. She needs to be mentored by older women, not mentoring younger women and men.
In our case, I was told OW/pastor's daughter had an A two years earlier. She got caught, the OM and his entire family (8 children in tow) moved out of town b/c of the pain on his W.) and the church almost split, but didn't.
After her A with my H, they removed her from her post for a few weeks, then she was right back. A couple of years after her A w/my H there was a major split in the church because of other issues, and daughter's A and how the church handled it didn't help things..
Telling you all this, because I can sympathize with you, as we have some similarities: it happened in and to people in our church. (Some) Leaders will be scrambling to do damage control, and you and your children may be victimized further by the efforts of leadership to protect the church's image.
If it is out in the open, there can be no lying gossip. I prefer that.
As for our home church (where we had attended before H moved), the A did not destroy it. No one gossiped because they were told what happened by my H. People were loving to me, and respectful of my H because he came completely clean about the A...not the porn, because it wasn't found out by me until later, after we had moved.
Get ready for a rocky ride in your M and in your church.