SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

I love to travel and my parents don't. One time my mom said to me, "I don't know where you got that gypsy blood! You're always flying off somewhere." So I became gypsybird. '87 was my high school grad year.

I've used this name for a lot of different things. If my XWH were to poke around on SI, he would recognize me immediately. When I first joined, that never occurred to me. Then for a little while I worried, now I couldn't care less.

*waves*

Hi XWH!

I chose undertherug because that is where I swept everything.

nickname one of my marine buddies gave me years ago.

Melian is a character from Silmarillion by JRR Tolkien. 40 is my age.

Dystopia is an imaginary place where people are unhappy and not treated fairly. I just felt like I had entered my own dystopia- but it wasn't imaginary. Now- I'm on the road to my own life back, my own happiness, my own new beginning, and my own better place. But for SI- I will always be myowndystopia and work to keep myself out of that dark dreary place!

I didn't want to reuse a user name so I made one up on the spot, more or less on impulse.

WH's LTA lasted nearly three years. In fact, OW would constantly refer to that fact in her emails and voicemails -- I guess it was a point of pride for her? WH didn't like it and in fact gets nitpicky when I refer to his three year A since it was officially two years and ten months!

And I felt like a fool when I first registered. I got played, big time. I kept second guessing myself for not acting on my suspicions and for believing WH's lies.

Except in my darkest moments I've moved on from the self blame.

I knew that I would work very hard to forgive my H even if we didn't reconcile but I vowed to myself that I would NEVER FORGET especially if we did reconcile. My H's 8 year LTA to me was an indicator that he had deep-seated issues. Anyone who could lie and cheat and live a double life for that long was someone who I believed I would be crazy to trust fully ever again. I could not let myself ever forget what he was capable of and to this day, I hold onto my memory of his years of deceit as a means of self protection.

The day I registered I was so damn upset that I could not stop sobbing. I just layed on my bed hysterical and crying these big sobbing tears. I was so overly emotional. Emotional woman just didn't sound right so.....hence the name emotionalgirl.

I wanted it to NOT reflect anything about my ex or the pain he gave me. I wanted it to be about ME. ME ME ME. At the time I didn't know who I was anymore. I was dead. I was a ghost. I dimly recalled a piece of myself from years gone by, and remembered that it gave me pleasure. And thus I named myself.

Mine is what my fWH sometimes calls me. He has no idea this board exists and has no reason to look for it or me. But if he did, he would know immediately and that's fine as I have nothing to hide.

Because I say YES to keeping my PANTS on and being loyal. I was tired of crying when I signed up and the thought of my username made me smile. Not exactly sure why...it felt powerful at the time, like a big statement.

I am a major old-timer. The Phoenix in the Harry Potter book rose out of the ashes. It was before the movie. It turned out to be true!

On DDAY I came across a picture of OMs dick while I was looking through my wife's phone as she slept beside me... It felt like being punched in the face.

I wanted a username that felt hopeful and positive, even though I was devastated. On some level I wanted to believe that this too would pass.

Right after dday, I kept saying that I was in the biggest storm of my life. A friend off handedly said "there's always a rainbow after every storm" and so I chose my username.

I have an online shopping problem.

I feel like the life (I thought) I had has been abandoned. At first not by me and now it seems like it's long gone.

Lol Amazonia....

Mine is self explanatory, I was sad...

After DDay I started to physically twitch. My hands shake now. Sometimes my eye twitches. I shake my foot. My teeth chatter at odd times..

I turned 50, and my husband blew off my birthday. Two weeks later, I went in for a checkup, and was diagnosed with hpv. Nice 50th birthday present, eh?

[This message edited by hpv50 at 7:07 PM, February 10th (Monday)]

The A had become a monster in my life. I was afraid it would destroy me... Us... 6 yrs later my name has proved true.