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Divorce/Separation :
Abbondad Part 5

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alphakitte ( member #33438) posted at 7:26 PM on Wednesday, March 12th, 2014

^^^ What crisp said!

------ Some people are emotional tadpoles. Even if they mature they are just a warty toad. Catt

posts: 636   ·   registered: Sep. 23rd, 2011   ·   location: 3 klicks north of Ambiguous
id 6720478
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 Abbondad (original poster member #37898) posted at 8:15 PM on Wednesday, March 12th, 2014

Thank you. I have asked my attorney if something can be done immediately--like an emergency hearing--since this does indeed seem to be clear blackmail. She said, No. (I don't know why. And she is an excellent lawyer--35 years as a family lW trial attorney. Knows the system through and through.) I do have faith in her.

She just cc'd me her latest email to STBX's attorney:

"I don't know if Abnondad will accept it but ask her if she will do $500 for 5 months and then seven hundred dollars until recalculation next April."

(I had told my attorney that $500 is acceptable. If she refuses then we go to trial. To be honest, I'm sick of all this and really would like to just go to trial.)

[This message edited by Abbondad at 2:19 PM, March 12th (Wednesday)]

Divorced April Fool's Day 2014

Fear is the mind-killer.Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration.I will face my fear.I will permit it to pass over me and through me.-Dune

posts: 2088   ·   registered: Dec. 25th, 2012
id 6720540
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gonnabe2016 ( member #34823) posted at 8:37 PM on Wednesday, March 12th, 2014

(psst, AD....it's extortion, not blackmail....)

I'm confused...what is the money in the latest sent email for?

"Oh, what a tangled web we weave when first we practice to deceive." - Sir Walter Scott

In my effort to be *concise*, I often come off as blunt and harsh. Sorry, don't mean to be offensive.

posts: 9241   ·   registered: Feb. 15th, 2012   ·   location: Midwest
id 6720570
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 Abbondad (original poster member #37898) posted at 8:44 PM on Wednesday, March 12th, 2014

I'm confused...what is the money in the latest sent email for?

The $500 is the minimum amount I am willing to accept as CS after I did some basic living calculations. Based on her three years' income the amount should be $866 and which was agreed on at our last mediation when she was earning over 100k.

She has since lost her job and I believe is now blacklisted from her profession which, locally, is very " incestuous" and likely she has burned her bridges after getting herself fired from three "related" companies. Nobody will hire her.

Divorced April Fool's Day 2014

Fear is the mind-killer.Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration.I will face my fear.I will permit it to pass over me and through me.-Dune

posts: 2088   ·   registered: Dec. 25th, 2012
id 6720582
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 Abbondad (original poster member #37898) posted at 12:52 AM on Thursday, March 13th, 2014

The buyers are accepting out counteroffer of 328500.00.

STBX had a fight with our realtor. No surprise. I am signing it now and she will present it to STBX. But STBX already has indicated that she will sign nothing until she consults with her attorney. These buyers want this signed contract immediately. STBX will cost us this sale, guaranteed. And for nothing. She stands to gain nothing but her hope that she will extort an agreement from me.

I hope this will not look good in court.

Divorced April Fool's Day 2014

Fear is the mind-killer.Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration.I will face my fear.I will permit it to pass over me and through me.-Dune

posts: 2088   ·   registered: Dec. 25th, 2012
id 6720874
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ThisHell ( member #37089) posted at 1:17 AM on Thursday, March 13th, 2014

I'm telling you, her level of crazy is so palpable I'm amazed it isn't visible on her skin! I just cannot wrap my head around this woman..

I have no words... keep focused. Stick to your guns and do not let her cooties spread to you! Certifiable, I swear

Me:BW, 34/Him:BH, 34/ 3 boys, 5,8,12
4ddays, now Divorced
We are not in Kansas anymore

posts: 309   ·   registered: Oct. 10th, 2012   ·   location: NC
id 6720898
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ThisHell ( member #37089) posted at 1:20 AM on Thursday, March 13th, 2014

Me:BW, 34/Him:BH, 34/ 3 boys, 5,8,12
4ddays, now Divorced
We are not in Kansas anymore

posts: 309   ·   registered: Oct. 10th, 2012   ·   location: NC
id 6720902
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ProbableIceCream ( member #37468) posted at 2:15 AM on Thursday, March 13th, 2014

Yeah, this seems to fit extortion pretty cleanly.

posts: 881   ·   registered: Nov. 12th, 2012
id 6720967
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seriouslylostit ( member #23987) posted at 2:21 AM on Thursday, March 13th, 2014

Ok ... I've lost it and I've never met the bitch!!! I would get on the horn immediately and inform her that it just hit you that she looks at the kids like they're nothing since that's what she pays and that you explained exactly that to the kids (not really) and "have fun handling that you fucking nutcase bitch" . I think she would be stupid enough to initiate that conversation.

Tell her what to do with the MSA and her extortion ... Hell, call the cops. How about you refuse to sign until she shows up and kisses your butt, literally???

Point out to her that she owes you XYZ dollars and WILL pay ABC in child support even though her supremely fucked up self think her own kids aren't worth it and she WILL pay GHI in alimony for the charity work of having been married to her. And you don't give a flying fuck what she has to do to make the money ... Not your problem.

Point out that her industry has blacklisted her

That you've blacklisted her twat

That her kids have blacklisted OM and but for their dad they'd be blacklisting their mom too.

That the neighbors have blacklisted her via who they're witnesses for.

Ask her if she sees a pattern, if she thinks the judge is stupid? Then say "me neither ... Can't wait for trial!!"

Know that the only reason she wants the kids is so she can treat them like crap and save money in the process! Do not let that happen Dad!!!

In your spare time, apply for jobs as her ... If that gets boring, spoof up the number to dual a prayer or her old employer or OM when they're not together and let her hear herself on the VAR. I'm damn serious ... She deserves it and more ... And in reply to your objection - prove it! These types get everybody walking on egg shells and it drives me nuts!!! I refuse and they do tend to treat me a little better.

posts: 845   ·   registered: May. 12th, 2009
id 6720974
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 Abbondad (original poster member #37898) posted at 4:01 AM on Thursday, March 13th, 2014

Thank you, seriouslylostit! You brought a smile to my face.

My attorney just forwarded her attorney's latest email. Sounds like she is pretty stressed herself and is getting her first small taste of her wonderful new client:

"If we can get to cs of $500/month with reassessment in a year, I think I can convince her to take it. I'll tell her she can either have the money go to me or go to her kids....Look...I've talked to her four times today about the house. I can't force my client to do something. She is really, really stressed. Talk to Abbondad. I am trying to counsel STBX, but she is not communicative when she is very stressed."

Divorced April Fool's Day 2014

Fear is the mind-killer.Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration.I will face my fear.I will permit it to pass over me and through me.-Dune

posts: 2088   ·   registered: Dec. 25th, 2012
id 6721074
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ThisHell ( member #37089) posted at 4:21 AM on Thursday, March 13th, 2014

Wouldn't getting the sale done without having to make all these costly repairs alleviate some of that stress!!!???? Moron..

Me:BW, 34/Him:BH, 34/ 3 boys, 5,8,12
4ddays, now Divorced
We are not in Kansas anymore

posts: 309   ·   registered: Oct. 10th, 2012   ·   location: NC
id 6721092
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tushnurse ( member #21101) posted at 2:34 PM on Thursday, March 13th, 2014

(((AD)))

Yup she has ratcheted up the crazy. It' ALL about her. Still.

I sit here shaking my head in wonder. I'm sure her new Attorney is thinking the same. She just wants it done and over too, so she doesn't have to deal with her.

I hope someone, anyone convinces her to sign and be done. What a psycho. Can you tt OM and encourage him to persuade her? Can he slip her some alcohol and Ativan, and then get her to sign??? Just trying to be creative here....

Hang in there AD. Soon she will be CXW, and there will no longer be any STB in front of that, and for that reason you have to hang on and do what is best for you and your kids.

Me: FBSHim: FWSKids: 23 & 27 Married for 32 years now, was 16 at the time.D-Day Sept 26 2008R'd in about 2 years. Old Vet now.

posts: 20380   ·   registered: Oct. 1st, 2008   ·   location: St. Louis
id 6721369
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standingonmarble ( member #31217) posted at 3:09 PM on Thursday, March 13th, 2014

Maybe its time to let AP know that you will let it go into foreclosure which will make it very difficult for them to move on as couple and buy a house together. Maybe its time to start talking about foreclosure.

At one time he was a man standing on marbles. Now I am a woman standing on marble.....

We are done fighting with each other and decide to fight FOR each other.

posts: 768   ·   registered: Feb. 17th, 2011
id 6721426
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 Abbondad (original poster member #37898) posted at 3:09 PM on Thursday, March 13th, 2014

I hope someone, anyone convinces her to sign and be done.

It's highly unlikely. Let's review the past nearly two years of people who have tried to help/convince her to stop wrecking her and her family's lives:

Me.

Her mother.

Her father.

Her children.

Friend #1.

Friend #2.

Friend #3.

Psychologist.

Psychiatrist #1.

Psychiatrist #2.

Psychiatrist #3.

Mediator #1.

Mediator #2.

Mediator #3.

Lawyer #1.

Lawyer #2.

Lawyer #3.

Realtor #1.

Nope. Let's see the judge try his hand.

Divorced April Fool's Day 2014

Fear is the mind-killer.Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration.I will face my fear.I will permit it to pass over me and through me.-Dune

posts: 2088   ·   registered: Dec. 25th, 2012
id 6721428
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realitybites ( member #6908) posted at 3:22 PM on Thursday, March 13th, 2014

Personally at this point and after all this time and money and effort????? I would just let it go to trial. Screw trying to negotiate with her. I guarantee you she does NOT want this to go to trial. I would hold very firm and not do anything any more. She has dug a hold so big that she won't be able to do anything about it at trial.

My guess? Although I could be wrong. Is you will take this all the way up to trial and at the last minute, final second she will cave. But at that moment get it in writing. Don't let her just "say" it and then wait for a signature.

I think its the only way you will get anything done at this moment.

Stop expecting loyalty from people who cannot even give you honesty.

He stopped being my husband the first time he cheated. It took me awhile to understand that I was no longer his wife.

posts: 6939   ·   registered: Apr. 16th, 2005   ·   location: florida
id 6721448
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nowiknow23 ( member #33226) posted at 3:53 PM on Thursday, March 13th, 2014

Abbondad - If you ever consider changing your screen name, Job might be one to consider, as your patience has been tested nearly as much as his was. Seriously.

You can call me NIK

And never grow a wishbone, daughter, where your backbone ought to be.
― Sarah McMane

posts: 40250   ·   registered: Aug. 29th, 2011
id 6721490
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 Abbondad (original poster member #37898) posted at 3:57 PM on Thursday, March 13th, 2014

Thank you, reality, thank you, NIK. Funny you should say that: I teach the Book of Job in one of my lit classes. The whole time I was lecturing on it a few weeks ago, it was all I could do to refrain from confessing my situation to my students.

Personally, I would prefer the sores and boils from head to foot and the decimation of my cattle to this ordeal.

Divorced April Fool's Day 2014

Fear is the mind-killer.Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration.I will face my fear.I will permit it to pass over me and through me.-Dune

posts: 2088   ·   registered: Dec. 25th, 2012
id 6721497
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Kajem ( member #36134) posted at 6:04 PM on Thursday, March 13th, 2014

AD,

April 1st is almost here. Stay strong the crazy will get worse between now and then. Time to practice your deep breathing techniques while letting out the rope to her a little at a time. She'll hang herself, remember to be the calm (sane) focused parent to your kids. They have enough stress dealing with crazy woman!

Hugs,

K

PS you're doing great at letting her spin. A year ago this wouldn't be possible....... Strength looks good on you.

I trust you is a better compliment than I love you, because you may not trust the person you love, but you can always love the person you trust. - UnknownRelationships are like sharing a book, it doesn't work if you're not on the same page.

posts: 6708   ·   registered: Jul. 15th, 2012   ·   location: Florida
id 6721674
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 Abbondad (original poster member #37898) posted at 8:30 PM on Thursday, March 13th, 2014

Tentatively good news. Here is the latest email from STBX's attorney:

STBX is going to sign the purchase agreement right now. She was really upset when she called, so she might need some time to collect herself. When do you think the msa will be ready?

Boo. Fucking. Hoo.

My realtor has confirmed, but I will believe it when I see it.

Divorced April Fool's Day 2014

Fear is the mind-killer.Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration.I will face my fear.I will permit it to pass over me and through me.-Dune

posts: 2088   ·   registered: Dec. 25th, 2012
id 6721907
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KatieKat ( member #16690) posted at 8:31 PM on Thursday, March 13th, 2014

[This message edited by KatieKat at 2:32 PM, March 13th (Thursday)]

one of the lucky ones

posts: 273   ·   registered: Oct. 20th, 2007
id 6721910
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