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k94ever ( member #11176) posted at 11:49 PM on Wednesday, April 9th, 2014
What was her reaction?
k9
BS:61
WS: 53
Betrayed: 24 years
Affairs: 15 (2 lasted 3 months. Rest were ONS)
WS died: 16 May 2011
Do not stay in your hurt forever. Choose to move out of it.
Lobo ( new member #42456) posted at 1:55 AM on Thursday, April 10th, 2014
I can only imagine what her reaction was and it must have been a knife in your heart.
I am so very sorry.
Imagine a world where the words you speak appear on your skin. Would you be more careful of what you say?
strangeasfiction (original poster member #42160) posted at 2:37 AM on Thursday, April 10th, 2014
What was her reaction?
She was relieved. Relieved.
Me - BS 39
Her - WW 34
Kids - 3 & 1
Married - 9 years
Status - FUBAR
TheClimb ( member #25895) posted at 3:02 AM on Thursday, April 10th, 2014
Relieved! I'm so sorry. She is still in her fantasy land; time for her to get a bit of reality. You know he's not Dad material, even she has admitted to this. Yet, this is what she wants. Please, let her have it. Stop letting her and Mr. Asswipe hurt you.
You are an honorable man and a great father, you have tried your very best. It is ok to let her go now. Hugs to you and your children.
"That which can be destroyed by the truth should be" P.C. Hodgell
5454real ( member #37455) posted at 3:56 AM on Thursday, April 10th, 2014
She was relieved.
I am so sorry. Her contempt for you is enormous. I know that your biggest wish is to keep the family together. Be the best example you can for your children.
What do you want them to learn.
Strength.
BH 58, WW 49
DS 31(Mine),SD 29,SS 28(Hers),DS 16 Ours, DGS 11, DGD 8, DGS 3
D=Day #1 5/04EA (Rugswept)
D-Day #2 3/10/12, TT til 3/13/12
Married 13yrs
"I have no love for a friend who loves in words alone."
― Sophocle
cissi ( member #21737) posted at 4:02 AM on Thursday, April 10th, 2014
Strange, relieved as in happy it was his and not yours, or just relieved not to have to wonder anymore?
Certainly she was not really happy about this??
[This message edited by cissi at 10:03 PM, April 9th (Wednesday)]
Lobo ( new member #42456) posted at 4:09 AM on Thursday, April 10th, 2014
I have no words to describe her cruelty toward you.
Please take care.
Imagine a world where the words you speak appear on your skin. Would you be more careful of what you say?
strangeasfiction (original poster member #42160) posted at 4:36 AM on Thursday, April 10th, 2014
Certainly she was not really happy about this??
Yes, she was. Like I said, separation seems likely.
Me - BS 39
Her - WW 34
Kids - 3 & 1
Married - 9 years
Status - FUBAR
gonnabe2016 ( member #34823) posted at 5:26 AM on Thursday, April 10th, 2014
Certainly she was not really happy about this??
Yes, she was. Like I said, separation seems likely
Based on her reaction, I think that detachment and/or separation is NECESSARY for your own emotional health. What a horse-kick in the head her attitude is. Unbelievable.
Her response to this news is beyond cruel and insensitive. I am so, so sorry.
"Oh, what a tangled web we weave when first we practice to deceive." - Sir Walter Scott
In my effort to be *concise*, I often come off as blunt and harsh. Sorry, don't mean to be offensive.
cissi ( member #21737) posted at 7:38 AM on Thursday, April 10th, 2014
I'd like to slap your wife. Sorry, but I just really would like to.
Take care of yourself, Strange.
Want2help ( member #20547) posted at 8:18 AM on Thursday, April 10th, 2014
Strange, I am so, so sorry.
FBS/WS- me.
F(serial)WS/BS- him.
Madhatters. More Ddays than birthdays, at this point. His OC, my OC...
UPDATE: Divorcing after almost 20 years.
tushnurse ( member #21101) posted at 1:20 PM on Thursday, April 10th, 2014
Relieved???Wow. She is off in her own Rainbow/Unicorn world.
Time to make you and YOUR kids a priority. Time to protect them, and yourself. She wants to leave fine. That may actually create less chaos then what you have been dealing with.
I would URGE you to see your Attorney, and file for S or D, and exclusive use of the home.
Your kids deserve at least one healthy sane parent. It obviously isn't her.
Me: FBSHim: FWSKids: 23 & 27 Married for 32 years now, was 16 at the time.D-Day Sept 26 2008R'd in about 2 years. Old Vet now.
confused615 ( member #30826) posted at 2:00 PM on Thursday, April 10th, 2014
Relieved??
Im so sorry. 
BS(me)44
FWH 48
4 kids
M: June 2001
D-Day: 8/10/10
..that feeling you get in your stomach, when you heart's broken. It's like all the butterflies just died.
SisterMilkshake ( member #30024) posted at 2:24 PM on Thursday, April 10th, 2014
Time to make you and YOUR kids a priority. Time to protect them, and yourself.
I would URGE you to see your Attorney, and file for S or D, and exclusive use of the home.
Uuummm, yeah, and make sure your child support isn't based on an equation including this OC of your WW's.
BW (me) & FWH both over half a century; married several decades; children
d-day 3/10; LTA (7 years?)
"Oh, why do my actions have consequences?" ~ Homer Simpson
"She knew my one weakness: That I'm weak." ~ Homer Simpson
ForwardMotion ( member #32608) posted at 2:28 PM on Thursday, April 10th, 2014
SAF - I'm really sorry. Hang in there, brother.
me - BH
'It's not the end of everything,
It's just end of everything you know.'
allatsea ( member #38923) posted at 3:52 PM on Thursday, April 10th, 2014
I'm not actually surprised that this is the result she was hoping for.
She is deeply entrenched in her lurrrvee affair and NOTHING you could have done would convince her that she is wrong. The OM is amazing and you are an ass. I've been there.
You are heading for more than separation. This is grounds for immediate divorce. If she hasn't been shaken out of her fog by now, nothing will. I've been there.
Everything you say is considered by her to be biased and for your own interest. If you go NC she will hate you for not being mature and sensible. If you stay in contact with her she will hate you for making her feel bad. If you cry you are weak and not a man. If you don't cry and act strong you obviously didn't love her and she made the right choices. You will not win. I've been there.
((((Strange)))) You poor bastard
You can't fix crazy. All you can do is document it
wonderpets ( member #35901) posted at 4:04 PM on Thursday, April 10th, 2014
Like allatsea said, you're the bad guy now. I feel for you. Even if you still want to save the marriage, protect yourself and your children.
TheThreeYearFool ( member #41218) posted at 5:19 PM on Thursday, April 10th, 2014
SAF, I've not posted on this topic before because I had no good advice to give.
I still don't. I just wanted to tell you that I, like so many others, were hoping it wouldn't turn out this way.
What a horrible thing it is, being betrayed so deeply by someone you love. I am so sorry that this has been done to you.
Me - BW 36
Him - WH 41
Together 12 years, married 7
3 year LTA with former coworker
DDay 10/29/13
He says he wants to R... can I live with what he's done?
Lucky2HaveMe ( member #13333) posted at 6:49 PM on Thursday, April 10th, 2014
Yes, she was. Like I said, separation seems likely
She was relieved... relieved that the baby was not yours. 
She has shown you who she is, believe her. She likes the idea of the fantasy life she has made for herself. Time to force her to live it.
Remember, no decision is final. There are a few here that have actually reconciled after divorce. As a wise person said a page or 2 back - sometimes you have to be willing to lose the marriage to save it.
So live in the NOW - take the info you have, take the attitude she is giving you - and take the appropriate action for now.
Love isn't what you say, it's what you do.
tryingagain74 ( member #33698) posted at 7:31 PM on Thursday, April 10th, 2014
I'm sorry about the results.
I'm sorry about her reaction. You didn't deserve that, and she doesn't deserve you.
Take care of yourself.
FBS; now happily liberated!
Two DS and One DD
It matters not how strait the gate,/How charged with punishments the scroll./I am the master of my fate:/I am the captain of my soul.--"Invictus," William Ernest Henley
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