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shortchanged38 (original poster new member #42402) posted at 4:16 AM on Monday, February 10th, 2014
Who experienced hysterical bonding (HB) and who didn't.
I want to have a gauge of how many of us BS go through HB.
Please participate so we can all have an idea.
Please one response per person so survey doesn't get sidelined with discussion.
The survey question is---
Have you experienced HB after DDay?
I'll start : NO
[This message edited by shortchanged38 at 1:22 PM, February 10th (Monday)]
Me 38
WS 36
OW Co-worker
A lasted 2 years total
DDay #1 1-3-13
DDay #2 4-15-13
D 1-10-14
shortchanged38 (original poster new member #42402) posted at 4:20 AM on Monday, February 10th, 2014
Here is the healing library discussion on HB.
Upon being confronted with the undeniable reality that their most trusted spouse has betrayed them with another, some BS's experience an overwhelming sexual desire for their wayward spouse. Many couples claim to have had the best, most intense and loving sex of their relationship during the period following the discovery of an affair, (generally a few weeks to several months), often trying new things and experimenting in ways they had never considered before. This phenomenon is termed "Hysterical Bonding.
There is very little information on this phenomenon, but it appears to be a primal, instinctual way for the partners to reconnect and reclaim each other. While it may feel counter-intuitive to the BS; as if they are "rewarding" the WS for the affair, hysterical bonding can be a stepping stone to reconciliation. The intimacy encourages communication and a closeness that may otherwise take some time to re-build.
The occurrence or absence of hysterical bonding does not appear to be an indicator of successful reconciliation. Many other factors, such as the WS's remorse and openness are far more reliable indicators. Hysterical bonding is, however, normal, and nothing for the BS to be alarmed about or ashamed about experiencing. In fact, it has been said it is the one positive in an otherwise long and miserable experience, so enjoy it while it lasts!
Me 38
WS 36
OW Co-worker
A lasted 2 years total
DDay #1 1-3-13
DDay #2 4-15-13
D 1-10-14
4everfaithful83 ( member #41761) posted at 4:23 AM on Monday, February 10th, 2014
Always know if the juice is worth the squeeze...
ME: 36
1 doggie
DDay: June 24th, 2013
DDay 2 : August 22nd,2017
Left him August 26th, 2017
lostandhopless ( member #41568) posted at 4:25 AM on Monday, February 10th, 2014
Be careful who you trust. Even your shadow will abandon you when it's dark.....
Divorced 6/13/14
kayaker55 ( member #41617) posted at 4:28 AM on Monday, February 10th, 2014
BW2639 ( member #34875) posted at 4:29 AM on Monday, February 10th, 2014
Yes. ...lasted a couple of months.
Lifechange ( member #28837) posted at 4:34 AM on Monday, February 10th, 2014
Yes!
Can't remember exactly how long it lasted, but quite a while. Probably at least a year or more.
hpv50 ( member #39703) posted at 4:42 AM on Monday, February 10th, 2014
Yep! The HB lasted around two months for us, where we fought practically all day, and then HB'd each night.
Me: BS - 50; Him: WH - 53, covert NPD/ BPD
married 19 years, 3 kids
DD1 4/22/13 (hpv diagnosis)
DD2 5/9/13
Status: relocated my happy; hanging in there for now
scarednbroken ( member #41961) posted at 5:18 AM on Monday, February 10th, 2014
DDay 1 - yes
DDay 2-15 - no
BS: Me 47 WH: 54 Kids: 17, 19, 21, 32 DD: every yr Ow: tons Status: fed-up. A woman should never invest in a relationship she wouldn't want for her daughter, nor should she allow any man to treat her in a way she would scold her son for
Gotmegood ( member #41407) posted at 5:24 AM on Monday, February 10th, 2014
Me: faithful wife 62.
Him: WH 64 , prostitute 20 yr old
DDay: 8-13-2013
Status: boinging up and down like a yo-yo
Gotmegood ( member #41407) posted at 5:24 AM on Monday, February 10th, 2014
Me: faithful wife 62.
Him: WH 64 , prostitute 20 yr old
DDay: 8-13-2013
Status: boinging up and down like a yo-yo
yoyoed2death ( new member #36348) posted at 5:25 AM on Monday, February 10th, 2014
DrivingPast ( member #32984) posted at 5:35 AM on Monday, February 10th, 2014
BW
married more than 10 yrs to a possible SA
D-Day May 5 2011
"Because one knows people best through their fears - the ones they overcome and the ones they are overcome by."
doggiediva ( member #33806) posted at 5:38 AM on Monday, February 10th, 2014
No with a capitol N..My WH was too much of a douchebag..
Don't tie your happiness to the tail of somebody else's kite
63 years young..
totalheartbreak ( member #41589) posted at 5:41 AM on Monday, February 10th, 2014
“You know hope is a mistake. If you can’t fix what’s broken, you’ll go insane.” - Max Rockatansky
The smart man divorces a lawyer.
The smarter man never marries one in the first place.
To her we were never worth the effort. :-/
BrokenMomof2 ( member #41219) posted at 5:41 AM on Monday, February 10th, 2014
Yes, lasted about a month and a half for me.
Me: BS, 30
Him: WH, 31, 1 month EA & PA
Married 9 years
Kids: 2 perfect boys
D-day: Nov 3, 2013
Working on R
strangeasfiction ( member #42160) posted at 5:43 AM on Monday, February 10th, 2014
Me - BS 39
Her - WW 34
Kids - 3 & 1
Married - 9 years
Status - FUBAR
headdesk ( member #40787) posted at 6:07 AM on Monday, February 10th, 2014
No. Even though after the first initial fuck up of TTing he did everything like a model remorseful H, I would have broken out the rusty scissors if he'd even thought of touching me.
Me: 39
WH: 42
DDay:Sep 19 2013 (only TT of EA)
Oct 4th 2013 revealed PA through snooping.
Marred 16 years, together for 20. Looking to R at this time. We have awesome kids (12/14).
flayed ( member #41875) posted at 6:08 AM on Monday, February 10th, 2014
BS(Me)-39
WH-39
Married 13 yrs, Together 19 yrs
4 kids under 8
2 yr LTA
DDay- Oct.29, 2013
Uhtred ( member #40392) posted at 6:14 AM on Monday, February 10th, 2014
Yes for about 6 weeks with a drop off after that. It's a phenomena that is so strange. I remember asking myself what the hell was wrong with me for wanting to have sex with my ww.
Me: BH 38years old DDay 4-29-13Her: FWW 39
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