SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

HELL to the NO! He is a lying cheating ass. He has not changed and will never change.... To do that would require him to acknowledge he is broken and did bad things.

He is abusive, self-centered, and have I mentioned an ass?

Plus, I now find him completely repulsive. I don't know what I ever saw in him.

[This message edited by courageous at 10:14 PM, February 10th (Monday)]

Even several months after the D, if he had thrown the OW under the bus, I would have taken him back. The ship has now sailed. Half of the reason is the obvious. He chose someone else. The other half is more insidious. He''''s not aging well and his health is poor. I don't care enough for him anymore to want to saddle myself with his care. I don''''t feel the least bit guilty about this.

[This message edited by Sad in AZ at 7:14 PM, February 10th, 2014 (Monday)]

Absolutely not!!! But I didn't always feel that way. I see many things so much clearer as time has passed, it's going on 7 years now. Clarity washes over me in waves and I realize I was not in a healthy relationship overall. I was a happy doormat and he was happy to take advantage of that. I don't dwell on it,every now and then I see something in my rear view window that I didn't see before. It clicks and I'm happy it's no longer. I much prefer looking forward to what could be than backwards to what could have been! Good luck to everyone on your journey!

I much prefer looking forward to what could be than backwards to what could have been!

positively: I love this!!

I did have a list in the beginning, but knew he was too selfish to ever accept it if he would have even asked. Think about your WS and what they can realistically do and be honest in your own heart of what they are capable of being able to do. Even though I was in denial, I knew he couldn't do it. He was way too emotionally jacked up and immature to ever take that road.

Suppose you opened the door and your ex or STBX was there on bended knee, contrite. Would you give them a pathway to R? What would it be?

Not only no, but hell no. But I'd do it with style. Picture that scene in Godfather II when he walks across the kitchen to the open door where his ex is standing just outside, and without changing his expression....slowly shuts the door.

That'd be me...

I would take him back if I knew that I would never have to work again! He probably only has maybe 5 more years to live. If he had a bunch of money to leave me sure I'll take his nasty old ass back!

Hell to the no

Never. He can stand on his head and whistle apologies through his asshole and I won't even fucking blink.

Oh my, the mental image....

Hell NO! He just repulses me now.

Nope, never. I am so much happier and healthier without hid gross NPD self. My girls are happier too.

Second time in a week I get to post one of my old taglines, stolen from another SIer:

I would rather shave my head with a cheese grater while chewing on tinfoil than touch that woman again-- kamandi

If he were sitting there on one knee I think I would laugh and shut the door....FTG - no interest and no time for that idiot - I wasted enough time that I had to take to heal. Honestly, he no longer matters.

Never.

Not if he crawled naked through a mile of broken glass to lie bleeding at my door.

I would rather spend the rest of my life single with no hope of romance than waste another day on him.

Wow! two pages of vehemently written NOs. Add me to the list. Early on here at SI I read a post where someone said stastically in the long run the BSs go on to have better lives than the WSs. In my gut, it felt right and now my experience has proven it to be so. I am so happy to be amoung such awesomeness!!

Because of STBXH's behavior, I had to ask my DD16 if her father had ever been inappropriate with her (i.e. sexual abuse). No mother should ever have to ask her child that. Everything else I could eventually forgive. This, absolutely never.

The only reason he's still breathing is that I believe DD when she says nothing like that ever happened.

I would do everything possible to contain my laughter (as I was coincidentally asked the same thing earlier and busted out laughing).

Though I don't know exactly what I would do. I would "want" to give him a chance to prove me right that he couldn't do the work to reconcile.... but I also see how much better life is WITHOUT him and how much of a shitty partner he was and will be. I know I could do a hell of a lot better and I am really wanting to find that better more than reconciling.

He lost the "innocent" love I had for him. And for that reason I don't think reconciling would be good for us. I could never devote myself mind, body and soul again.

[This message edited by movingforward13 at 9:15 PM, February 10th (Monday)]

Absolutely not. The sad part is that he still thinks it's possible.

But then, this is the man who committed statutory rape so many times without anyone finding out that it's as natural to him as breathing now.

Wow, can't believe I just wrote that. Oh well, might as well tell the whole truth, right?

Can't wait until I can file and go completely NC.

Suppose you opened the door and your ex or STBX was there on bended knee, contrite. Would you give them a pathway to R? What would it be?

I'd assume he was tying his shoe, but decided to go with the misconception to see what it might gain him.

I like the slow-door close! That ship has sailed!

No - I knew it the instant the situation was confirmed.

There is no unringing the bell of lost trust. You can move forward. You can heal. You can change and become better - but you can never undo the hurt that was done.

For me, trust is a foundational element. Once broken, it cannot be returned to an unbroken state.

I was devastated. I said good-bye. We'd been together since we were 11 years old. I was 31 at the time.

Trust is such a precious thing.

Don't break it. Ever.

Positively NO! Every word out of his mouth is a lie....

Picture me as Clark Gable in Gone With the Wind telling XPOS, "Frankly, my dear, I don't give a damn" as I reply to his attempt at an apology, turn around, and walk away in style.....