SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

I think it's kind of like sticking your hand in a fire but The English Patient is one.

I am reading The Days of Abandonment by Elena Ferrante right now which is about a woman whose husband leaves her and their children for a younger OW. It is very good and incredibly accurate but comes from the BW perspective. Sort of like reading a very long and eloquent JFO entry...

Bridges of Madison county?

And I read "loving frank" for a book club. What a terrible book. Justification, justification, justification. And frank Lloyd wright - textbook narcissit.

nora, have you read any other books by Ferrante? I think she is a wonderful writer and the book you're reading is so spot on, as are you.

Sort of like reading a very long and eloquent JFO entry...

I'm 100 years out from infidelity and found the book hard so I can't say I would recommend "Days of Abandonment" to someone new to infidelity.

This is my first Ferrante book! A woman in my bookclub whose husband left her and their two children selected it for us to read. A coworker recommended it to her, but advised she wait a year to read it, which is what my friend did. It's definitely not for the freshly betrayed. I think also it's probably not as useful if you have R'ed, unless perhaps it's the FWP who is reading it to get perspective on the damage they did, since the WH in the novel detaches and walks away with no remorse.

I'm halfway through "You Should Have Known" and can't put it down. I have to wonder if the author was a BW as she captures the horror and confusion perfectly. I have a feeling it won't be long until this book makes to onto the New York Times Best Seller list.

"Grace Reinhart Sachs is living the only life she ever wanted for herself. Devoted to her husband, a pediatric oncologist at a major cancer hospital, their young son Henry, and the patients she sees in her therapy practice, her days are full of familiar things: she lives in the very New York apartment in which she was raised, and sends Henry to the school she herself once attended. Dismayed by the ways in which women delude themselves, Grace is also the author of a book You Already Know, in which she cautions women to really hear what men are trying to tell them. But weeks before the book is published a chasm opens in her own life: a violent death, a missing husband, and, in the place of a man Grace thought she knew, only an ongoing chain of terrible revelations. Left behind in the wake of a spreading and very public disaster, and horrified by the ways in which she has failed to heed her own advice, Grace must dismantle one life and create another for her child and herself."

Brenda movably wrote two good books oc inclines

I haven't checked this thread in awhile. I'm glad to see so many more great suggestions.

Broken world had suggested, on page one, to read "The Affair" by Colette Freedman. I got it on Friday and am almost done.

Triggery for sure, but interesting. I wanted to begin reading it before suggesting it for book club. It is just TOO close to home. There are so many similarities to my story, and probably all of ours. I am heading toward the confrontation now. I already know the outcome, as I read the synopsis to her next book called "The consequences", but I am sure it won't be as dramatic as my own!

As some of us are lucky to have a friend to confide in and sometimes share our suspicions and fears, so did the BS in this book. I had told my friend about the book, when I was about to suggest it at our last book club. She asked me if I had read it. I said no. Then she whispered, "did you write it?"

I said "no, but we are all in it! There is even a stakeout!"

The only differences are that the was and the OW are "in love". Thankfully that wasn't the case in my story, at least as far as my WH claims.

All this to say, that before I could suggest the next book, someone else did. And they picked "The Husband's Secret"!

I googled it and one of the hits was a discussion on this forum.

I will however, keep all the other suggestions here in mind for future reading.

Strange isn't it how we are all so sick and tired of thinking of this stuff, yet feel the need to read more.

I listen to audio books sometimes in the car, just pick up random ones from the library. I am listening to one called "The Quickie." by James Patterson and someone else. Not great literature, I'm kind of embarrassed to admit i'm listening to it instead of a great classic novel. But I also, for some reason, find comfort in reading about affairs. I'm trying to get my head around how people can do this when they say they love their spouses. Anyway, in this book the wife has basically a ONS but things go downhill from there. I just started it. Also, have you read "Gone Girl"? A lot of people were reading it a couple years ago. In that one the H has the LTA. I thought it was a good book.

I just read a memoir called Perfection, by Julie Metz. I liked it so much, I actually sent the author an email, which I have never ever done!OMG- read it, so good!

It was really good and relevant for me! It is about this woman whose in a seemingly good marriage, small town outside NYC, husband dies, and then she finds out all kinds of things she never suspected about him.

I liked it because it is a true story, and I could not believe how many similarities I saw in her story and mine, although my X didn't die (despite all my wishing) and the husbands personality was nothing like my STBX, but the behavior was similar, things he said.

And I had never heard of Charles Karault before, but looked him up. Canadian journalist eh?

Charles Kuralt (September 10, 1934 – July 4, 1997) was an American journalist. He was most widely known for his long career with CBS, first for his "On the Road" segments on The CBS Evening News with Walter Cronkite, and later as the first anchor of CBS News Sunday Morning, a position he held for fifteen years.

True at First Light, Ernest Hemenway, was published after his death and explores a journey in Africa as well as his relationship with his fourth wife.

Regarding infidelity, I'd rather read about a real person rather than a fictionalized one. I seek insight, therefore it has to be real. JMHO.

[This message edited by positively4thst at 7:46 AM, May 4th (Sunday)]