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FightingBack ( member #34770) posted at 8:17 PM on Friday, February 14th, 2014
How about a chapter on how to Compartmentalize?
We could quote George Castanza
"Remember, it's not a lie if YOU believe it"
"I never thought about her when I was with you, and I never thought about you when I was with her".
"I didn't' want to think about consequences"
Me 53
WH 58
Married 25 years
4 children S30,D24, S23,S21
D-Day Nov. 29, 2011
15 year affair with married employee.
Together trying to make sense of it all!
FightingBack ( member #34770) posted at 12:52 AM on Monday, February 17th, 2014
Bumping this so it doesn't get lost .
Me 53
WH 58
Married 25 years
4 children S30,D24, S23,S21
D-Day Nov. 29, 2011
15 year affair with married employee.
Together trying to make sense of it all!
stillhere09 ( member #24924) posted at 1:17 AM on Monday, February 17th, 2014
Let's not forget this one:
"Get over it!"
Another variation:
"Why can't you just get over it? I did." 
Me-50 BW
Him-55,STBXWH
Walk a Mile In My Shoes
Married 14 yrs. Now Separated & in NC
2 grown DD's - his from previous M
4 grown kids (2DS, 2DD) mine from previous M
movingforward13 (original poster member #38405) posted at 1:33 AM on Monday, February 17th, 2014
Chapter 20:
After your ex divorces you, find ways to keep fighting with them, even about the stupidest shit. Remember it is THEIR fault your life is shit now, not yours because of your cheating.
Bonus points if you can successfully delay them from moving on with their lives and start dating others.
We also need a chapter on Hoovering: What It Is and How to Successfully Do It.
Once a cheater, always a cheater happens when your cheater doesn't have remorse.
Regret is not remorse- know the difference!
Lobo ( new member #42456) posted at 2:09 AM on Monday, February 17th, 2014
"I can't remember."
"Yes, I did tell her that I loved her ... but only because it's what she wanted to hear."
Ugh, it's enough to make you spit.
Imagine a world where the words you speak appear on your skin. Would you be more careful of what you say?
Harriet ( member #34543) posted at 8:49 AM on Monday, February 17th, 2014
This manual has clearly been published already because my ex seems to have read it carefully.
D-Day Spring 2008
3 years false R
Divorce Final 6/7/12
selkiescot ( member #23777) posted at 3:09 PM on Monday, February 17th, 2014
Widh there a like button on here LOL
The truth shall set you free or reveal the name of the OW!
ME 57
WH 64
DDAYs TOO MANY
daughter 27
You give me gifts! I don't want your gifts I want the truth. That's the greatest gift.
IrishLass518 ( member #34373) posted at 4:32 PM on Monday, February 17th, 2014
Please, please, please include the companion manual of "What to expect when you leave your spouse and children for the guttertrash/stripperwhore/HelloKitty/twatwaffle you have been cheating with"
This book should include the following chapters:
1. Don't forget to blame your ex spouse for everything that goes wrong in the future
2. You didn't want your BS as a babysitter but your AP isn't babysitting, they're your "twin flame"
3. You get to lose the respect of everyone around you and blame it on your ex
4. You get to constantly build up the AP to everyone around you and tell them all the reasons that the AP is so amazing.
5. You get to lose your spouse, kids, home, business, professional reputation and so much more.
But wait, there's more....
You get to spend your life wondering what the Hell happened to your life.
Me: 46 BS Divorced
Him: 45 Married OW
DDay: 07/04/2008
Divorced: 06/15/2011
5 kids: IrishLass 27,IrishLad 25, IrishLass 23, IrishLad 21 and IrishLad 12
"You can't run from trouble..there ain't no place that far"
cl131716 ( member #40699) posted at 5:58 PM on Monday, February 17th, 2014
"Why can't you just get over it? I did."
Yep! I also got another variation. Something along the lines of...
"I think it's best to leave the past alone and just move forward. I had irrational thoughts (of me cheating) too but I realized you really do love me and would never do that to me. You should realize about me." WTF???
Me BS 33 Him WS 37
Together 6 years, married almost 4 years
D-day: 07/23/13 EA with COW
D-day: 12/27/13 found out about a past kiss
D-day: 05/30/16 Saw first text message from new COW
D-day: 09-08-16 Dr. Fone confirmed EA
beautytoashes5 ( member #41900) posted at 8:22 PM on Monday, February 17th, 2014
Chapter ?? I was in too deep to get out without you finding out
Chapter ??? She was probably lying about getting pregnant 3 times
Chapter ???? Let's focus on the future, baby. I was never going to leave you for HER.
Chapter ????? I told her I loved her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings
So sad. It's all so sad.
Shonsal ( new member #42427) posted at 8:30 PM on Monday, February 17th, 2014
How about the 'it was stupid and I don't know what I was thinking?' Well I think you did. At 38 you know about the birds and the bees and that lying and cheating on someone is wrong.
Or the 'but pictures and emails aren't cheating? I wasn't planning on meeting up with anyone'. Yeah I got nothing on that.
And the 'but she came onto me!'. You invited her to OUR HOUSE! While I was overseas! TWICE! *facepalm*
A: July 2012
WS: Him
OW: his best friend
Gemstone ( member #42000) posted at 1:55 PM on Friday, March 7th, 2014
OMG
Were you all there listening in on our conversations/fights/rows?
How else could you all possible know the things he said !!!!!!
FightingBack ( member #34770) posted at 2:16 PM on Friday, March 7th, 2014
"Yes, I did tell her that I loved her ... but only because it's what she wanted to hear."
And I thought this was an original line and was actually true!!!
Me 53
WH 58
Married 25 years
4 children S30,D24, S23,S21
D-Day Nov. 29, 2011
15 year affair with married employee.
Together trying to make sense of it all!
IsthereEVERanend ( member #42216) posted at 2:20 PM on Friday, March 7th, 2014
I thought that book was closed..... 
Me: Older than dirt
FWW 63
DD 8/1990 She confessed to a 2 month ea/pa
Asked forgiveness but volunteered to leave. No way was I going to give her the boot
The eight most feared words used together in the English language: We need to talk. Th
stunnedin12 ( member #38141) posted at 2:46 PM on Friday, March 7th, 2014
Am I the only one whose wh had the magic phone? The one that texted chickie all on its own?
How about,
"You'd like chickie, she's just like you" 
ME - Betrayed Spouse
Him - Wayward spouse
Lawyers involved.
hear-me-roar ( member #17962) posted at 3:25 PM on Friday, March 7th, 2014
I could probably add several. Two stand out (in piss-off order):
"We had PARAMETERS"
"It was not going to affect you because you were not supposed to find out"
I am so happy that they had such consideration of my feelings to establish "parameters". Bullcrap runs deep in a small pasture.
WastedTime12 ( member #34767) posted at 4:29 AM on Saturday, March 8th, 2014
I am not sure which chapter this belongs in but I got a text from him when I asked why he contacted stripper again. The text said "the only reason I contacted her was because I was contemplating that no contact thing" I really think we need a flat out crazy, makes no sense chapter.
Life is meant to be lived, not numbed!
In his quest for freedom, he set me free!
gonnabe2016 ( member #34823) posted at 4:53 AM on Saturday, March 8th, 2014
Oh, a Cheater Handbook that includes a chapter or an appendix of "don't even TRY to make sense of this because it is TOTALLY crazy and outside the realm of ANY reasonable person's thought process" is a total must-have.
"Oh, what a tangled web we weave when first we practice to deceive." - Sir Walter Scott
In my effort to be *concise*, I often come off as blunt and harsh. Sorry, don't mean to be offensive.
WastedTime12 ( member #34767) posted at 5:00 AM on Saturday, March 8th, 2014
T/j, Gonna, will you try to pm me. Not sure why I can not pm. Think I am doing something wrong or ?
Life is meant to be lived, not numbed!
In his quest for freedom, he set me free!
Dadto4girls ( new member #42517) posted at 8:27 AM on Sunday, March 9th, 2014
What about I am a selfish narcissistic asshole who just doesn't get it.thats coming from a FWS
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