SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

Chater 20: Reasons not to tell the Other Spouse

1. He is crazy, and violent.

2. She will sue us if we make it public.

3. He is violent and will hurt her/us/you/the world.

Um yah, whatever......

Chapter 21: I can't believe you the BS has the nerve to not trust me. It can include gems such as:

You will never get over this.

Why should I try, if you aren't commiting to R

I will never have any privacy

Why do you have to be my babysitter

Multiple, repeated variations of:

"I'm not a bad person. So obviously, something's wrong...I'm not happy".

Another documented mystery of the universe, right there.

Chater 20: Reasons not to tell the Other Spouse

4. AP already told them

5. It would break up a happy family

I am in for this!

Please dont forge the classic..I never meant to hurt you...

Or I never had sex with her..um that's why I got an STd........

How about some advertisements?

We know we won't need any for condoms , so how about.....

Fog proof glasses!

Unicorn food

Clinic for STDs acquired from toilet seats

Classes on telephone etiquette from a bathroom

VAR detectors

What else????

How about a chapter explaining that it's not just the spoken word that matters with the lies involved. That the written (typed) word also counts.

eg. fwh told me continuously that he never told ow he loved her -

he emailed her that he loved her and not me but couldn't tell me that otherwise it would really be over between us!

he said he didn't remember typing it - it was his fingers that typed the words and once he pressed send he forgot he wrote it - he never told her out loud he loved her he only wrote it so it doesn't count!

Actually thinking about it, that may have to be cross referenced with the crap they sprout!

How about, He never told her IN PERSON that they were souldmates and he never stopped loving her. Or, Sex was not good; how could it be when he was thinking of me and the children at home the whole time. WHAAAAAAT?????

In the chapter on gaslighting:

"I would never do that to you! I know my boundaries!" accompanied by the classic, "We're just friends!"

In the chapter for stupid AP reactions:

When my WH told OW that I had voiced suspicions (this was before D-Day)--OW wrote, "But I thought SadFlower liked me!"

1.I didn't tell you because I didn't want to hurt you. Yeah because me crying on the floor until I get a migraine is less painful.

2.You don't trust me anymore.DUH!

3.I need my privacy.Code for I'm a cheater!I'm hiding something!

4.She's just a friend. I can have female friends.

5.It is all in the past. Why can't you let it go? It was 2 weeks ago!

Also, chapters on how to hide a phone, secret email accounts, how to cheat using fb, low self esteem and the OP and how to leave the OP and then come right home and kiss your SO and tell them you love them

"I did not have sex with that woman!"

I guess oral is not sex??? sorry if tmi

I didnt give her anything that you would have wanted.

I was depressed and she was like my medicine. I thought it would make me happier and if I was happier I would be a better H - WTF! Yeah, he took that one back the second it was out of his mouth!

Chapters to definitely include.

Chapter about gaslighting. Include the phrases:

It's not like that.

It's not what you think.

She/he is just a friend.

OW/OM? I would never! I'm not even the least bit attracted to him/her!

We were just joking. That's just how we talk but it doesn't mean we would ever do anything.

There were never any real intentions to do anything.

You're just being paranoid.

You're being controlling.

I can't have friends?

Chapter about projected jealousy.

Chapter about blameshifting, minimization, and justifications.

Phrases like:

I just liked the attention.

I didn't think I was doing anything wrong.

You weren't giving me enough attention.

I told you I wanted you to do xyz, but you didn't listen.

It was only an EA.

It was only a kiss.

It was only sex.

It didn't mean anything.

I always loved you and really only wanted you.

Then a chapter about TT.

I love all the suggestions. I would definitely read a book like this!

Chapter about gaslighting. Include the phrases:

I wish you wouldn't make such a big deal out of this.

Let's just call it "talking".

"Let's just call it talking."

Yes! I heard that except WH and OW referred to cybersex as "smack talking". I'm not sure either are actually aware of what smack talking actually is. I'm pretty sure you don't use telling someone you will go slow and easy so they get theirs first as an insult. But whatever!

Let's just call it talking.

My WH said almost the same thing...except bhe and the OW called it "flirting."

Sadly I still remember some of these:

You didn't want sex!(HE did not want sex with ME of course cuz he was using up all his sex with someone else unbeknownst to me)

You are the perfect wife. (that one always bugged me, he would always say it and say it with this look on his face like he hated me)

Yeah I got the ILYBNILWY one as well.

Also at first got the "we just kissed" scenario until it was "yes we had sex" a couple months later.

"I swear on my mothers grave" when asked if he was cheating on me. Seems like they like to use the very closest people they love when they lie.

"I don't know why I told the OW that I loved her....it just seemed like the right thing to do to get what I wanted. I never really loved her." Huh?!?

"The kids are not talking to me since I moved out and its because of you! You are turning them against me!" Yeah like it would not bother them that their father moved out of the house.

Told our oldest son he did not like having sex with his mother. That it was not good for him.

There are so many.

I didn't leave you for her...

Oh, but you did leave me... Sexually, emotionally, mentally..

Chater 20: Reasons not to tell the Other Spouse

4. AP already told them

5. It would break up a happy family

6. It is none of our business.

7. I don't want to get involved.

To add to the chapter called "I did not have sex with that woman";

She would just give me BJs because she liked me.

for the chapter on STDs;

I never thought about STDs. She was fine, she was MARRIED!