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Chrysalis123 (original poster member #27148) posted at 1:28 AM on Tuesday, March 18th, 2014
OMG, the last few days have been a rollercoaster of hell.
Today, was a settlement conference with asshole. Found out a lot of unpleasant things such as: DD18, that I thought was being alienated, really was being alienated. He was ready to have my first born child testify against me.
Who does evil like that? How would she deal with this betrayal of her mom for the rest of her life?
He wanted me to pay him 150% of my yearly income for various reasons, next week.
His hate of me out weights his love for his kids. I was in his NPD sights......destroy her.
It was a hard day, but he ended up settling for 10% of his initial amount, and that 10% will be paid directly to the kids. My spousal maintenance will go into a 529 directly benefitting my children.
In my mind, I WON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 
He did not get any direct cash, which he wanted... The kids got it. So now I have to pay a bunch to my lawyer..but so what....way less than if we went to a hearing.
My lawyer said he can never go after back child support from today back. My oldest is emancipated as of today.
I AM FREE! I AM FREE!!!
I feel like the weight of the world is off my back.
Someone I once loved gave me/ a box full of darkness/ It took me years to understand/ That this, too, was a gift. - Mary Oliver
Just for the record darling, not all positive changes feel positive in the beginning -S C Lourie
MovingUpward ( member #14866) posted at 1:31 AM on Tuesday, March 18th, 2014
SBB ( member #35229) posted at 1:35 AM on Tuesday, March 18th, 2014
His hate of me out weights his love for his kids. I was in his NPD sights......destroy her.
Absolutely right. Unbelievable to realise, right?
I AM FREE! I AM FREE!!!
Same comment. Absolutely right. Unbelievable to realise, right?
I started listening to this song for the whole week prior to the notification that D was finalised. A message from the universe to me. I am free!!
http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=dRcRhWErjjo
I may have reached a point where I'd piss on him if he was on fire.... eventually!!
nowiknow23 ( member #33226) posted at 1:51 AM on Tuesday, March 18th, 2014
HOORAY!!!!! Congratulations, honey!
You can call me NIK
And never grow a wishbone, daughter, where your backbone ought to be.
― Sarah McMane
Chrysalis123 (original poster member #27148) posted at 1:53 AM on Tuesday, March 18th, 2014
SBB..thanks for the song. It is perfect and made me cry.
MOO and NIK..thanks for the support
Someone I once loved gave me/ a box full of darkness/ It took me years to understand/ That this, too, was a gift. - Mary Oliver
Just for the record darling, not all positive changes feel positive in the beginning -S C Lourie
Nature_Girl ( member #32554) posted at 1:55 AM on Tuesday, March 18th, 2014
Beautiful song, SBB.
Chrysalis, now you can soar, Honey. Fly & soar & live your life without chains.
Me = BS
Him = EX-d out (abusive troglodyte NPD SA)
3 tween-aged kids
Together 20 years
D-Day: Memorial Weekend 2011
2013 - DIVORCED!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wJgjyDFfJuU
Kajem ( member #36134) posted at 2:46 AM on Tuesday, March 18th, 2014
My friend, you are more a Phoenix than a Crysallis -you know that, don't you? What a wonderful way to out maneuver him!
Your free to fly! I can't wait to see how high you soar without his chains dragging you down.
Love and hugs,
K
I trust you is a better compliment than I love you, because you may not trust the person you love, but you can always love the person you trust. - UnknownRelationships are like sharing a book, it doesn't work if you're not on the same page.
cantaccept ( member #37451) posted at 2:48 AM on Tuesday, March 18th, 2014
So happy for you! Congratulations!
"I'm still standing better than I ever did. Looking like a true survivor, feeling like a little kid" Elton John
I would now like to be known as Can!
dday October 21,2012
dday December 20, 2013
wh deleted
I attempted R, he was a lie
caregiver9000 ( member #28622) posted at 2:57 AM on Tuesday, March 18th, 2014
Big celebration (((hugs))).
I hope he chokes on his own disappointment.
Me: fortysomething, independent, happy,
XH "Stretch" (and Skew!) ;)
two kids, teens. Old enough I am truly NO CONTACT w/ NPD zebraduck
S 5/2010
D 12/2012
Chrysalis123 (original poster member #27148) posted at 3:05 AM on Tuesday, March 18th, 2014
With tears, thank you friends. 
Someone I once loved gave me/ a box full of darkness/ It took me years to understand/ That this, too, was a gift. - Mary Oliver
Just for the record darling, not all positive changes feel positive in the beginning -S C Lourie
tesla ( member #34697) posted at 3:09 AM on Tuesday, March 18th, 2014
"Thou art the son and heir of a mongrel bitch." --King Lear
Chrysalis123 (original poster member #27148) posted at 3:13 AM on Tuesday, March 18th, 2014
Yes, and FTG...FTG...FTG
Someone I once loved gave me/ a box full of darkness/ It took me years to understand/ That this, too, was a gift. - Mary Oliver
Just for the record darling, not all positive changes feel positive in the beginning -S C Lourie
MadeOfScars ( member #42231) posted at 3:17 AM on Tuesday, March 18th, 2014
I just got my finalization date today. I am not free, but I see the finish line. My D is not going nearly as tough as your's sounds though, so all I'll say is I am happy you are now free, and you feel like you won. Peace and strength to you and your kids - the worst is over!
"Incredible change happens in your life when you decide to take control of what you do have power over instead of craving control over what you don’t." - Steve Maraboli
Lost15 ( member #40898) posted at 3:44 AM on Tuesday, March 18th, 2014
Congratulations! I'm glad that things went good for you. They didn't go as well for my mediation today.
me(BS)-34 him(WS)-32 DS-15
Married 15 years
Blindsided with divorce 07-12-13
DD-08-1-13 OW-40ish,married 20 yrs, with 4 kids she abandoned
Divorcing and trying to move one tiny step forward at a time.
Divorced: Jan 27,2015 (Ds 16th BDay)He rem
norabird ( member #42092) posted at 3:50 AM on Tuesday, March 18th, 2014
PurpleRose ( member #33129) posted at 5:25 AM on Tuesday, March 18th, 2014
What a relief! So awesome to be DONE!!
divorced the Dooosh 8/13
*****************************
Dance like nobody is watching,
Text and email like it will be used in court someday...
woundedby2 ( member #18522) posted at 6:50 AM on Tuesday, March 18th, 2014
Fantastic! So happy for you!!
In 2010 I divorced the NPD assclown who cheated on me with my best friend.
Everybody, soon or late, sits down to a banquet of consequences.
~Robert Louis Stevenson
GabyBaby ( member #26928) posted at 6:56 AM on Tuesday, March 18th, 2014
Freeeeeedoooooooom!!!!!
[This message edited by GabyBaby at 12:57 AM, March 18th (Tuesday)]
Me - late 40s
DD(27), DS(24, PDD-NOS)
WH#2 (SorryinSac)- Killed himself (May 2015) in our home 6 days after being served divorce docs.
XWH #1 - legally married 18yrs. 12+ OW (that I know of).
I edit often for clarity/typos.
dreamlife ( member #8142) posted at 7:31 AM on Tuesday, March 18th, 2014
~XWH told me what I wanted to hear but he always did whatever he wanted to do~
"He called me a bitch.
I called him an ambulance."
Linda H.)
dmari ( member #37215) posted at 7:35 AM on Tuesday, March 18th, 2014
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