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confused615 ( member #30826) posted at 10:06 PM on Tuesday, June 10th, 2014
((((((((((NIK))))))))))))
BS(me)44
FWH 48
4 kids
M: June 2001
D-Day: 8/10/10
..that feeling you get in your stomach, when you heart's broken. It's like all the butterflies just died.
tushnurse ( member #21101) posted at 3:21 PM on Thursday, June 12th, 2014
(((NIK))))
I hope your Dad is feeling better.
Its very very very common for elderly patients to become extremely confused with infection, in fact the first thing we do when an elderly person is brought to the ER with confusion is check their urine, the most likely cause of infection.
Hydration, and antibiotics usually get it turned around quickly.
Me: FBSHim: FWSKids: 23 & 27 Married for 32 years now, was 16 at the time.D-Day Sept 26 2008R'd in about 2 years. Old Vet now.
lieshurt ( member #14003) posted at 4:29 PM on Thursday, June 12th, 2014
No one changes unless they want to. Not if you beg them. Not if you shame them. Not if you use reason, emotion, or tough love. There is only one thing that makes someone change: their own realization that they need to.
nowiknow23 (original poster member #33226) posted at 6:02 PM on Thursday, June 12th, 2014
Talked to Dad again last night. He said he's behaving like a petulant child (specifically a 3-year old). He's crabbing at the nurses, having temper tantrums about the "bland crap" he's been getting to eat (they've got him on a low sodium, diabetic diet), and has been demanding things like chili and breakfast meats. Plural. He knows he's being a pain in the ass, "but dammit, there are diabetic foods that taste good, and surely they've heard of herbs and spices. It doesn't have to be awful."
This behavior is not typical. He's usually the patient that the nurses dote on - friendly, grateful, and charming.
He received another 2 units of blood yesterday, and was examined by his urologist, who suspects Dad has prostate cancer. I'm not sure what difference that makes at this point from a medical perspective, but it's got Dad scared. Dad doesn't do scared. Ever. Until now.
I'm pretty sure that fear is behind his lashing out. He was able to express that he's scared that this is really it. I told him I was coming this weekend for Father's Day, and he said he hoped he would see me, as if he doesn't believe he'll make it that long. 
You can call me NIK
And never grow a wishbone, daughter, where your backbone ought to be.
― Sarah McMane
Pentup ( member #20563) posted at 6:09 PM on Thursday, June 12th, 2014
Nik, can you today? If you can, do. It will help both of you.
Me- BS
Him- FWS (I hope- F)
Deeply Scared ( Administrator #2) posted at 6:12 PM on Thursday, June 12th, 2014
(((NIK)))
My heart is so heavy for you You've been dealing with so much sadness, I wish I was there to offer you a big hug and shoulder to cry on.
Please know that MH and I are sending you all our love and strength.
"Don't give up, the beginning is always the hardest." My Mom:)
My tolerance for stupid shit is getting less and less.
DixieD ( member #33457) posted at 6:13 PM on Thursday, June 12th, 2014
I'm sorry NIK. It must be so hard for all of you.
At least he knows he's being a more difficult patient, and really he's right about the herbs and spices and food not having to taste awful. A logical and lucid statement. Sounds like his facilities have returned again.
It will be a scary time for everyone. Sending you strength and positive vibes.
(((NIK)))
woundedby2 ( member #18522) posted at 6:23 PM on Thursday, June 12th, 2014
(((NIK)))
Sending more hugs and strength. Praying for peace and comfort for your father as well.
In 2010 I divorced the NPD assclown who cheated on me with my best friend.
Everybody, soon or late, sits down to a banquet of consequences.
~Robert Louis Stevenson
sisoon ( Moderator #31240) posted at 6:24 PM on Thursday, June 12th, 2014
(((NIK))) (((and Dad and family)))
fBH (me) - on d-day: 66, Married 43, together 45, same sex apDDay - 12/22/2010Recover'd and R'edYou don't have to like your boundaries. You just have to set and enforce them.
jo2love ( member #31528) posted at 6:55 PM on Thursday, June 12th, 2014
(((((Nik & family)))))
Sending so much love and prayers your way.
tushnurse ( member #21101) posted at 7:03 PM on Thursday, June 12th, 2014
(((NIK))))
Go see Dad. Everything else can wait.
He is scared. Stop and get him a spice mix shaker. He may be lashing out, out of fear, and he does have point, the food could have some spices.....That being said his anemia can be contributing to his lack of taste too.
Go be with him, enjoy it.
(((and strength))))
Me: FBSHim: FWSKids: 23 & 27 Married for 32 years now, was 16 at the time.D-Day Sept 26 2008R'd in about 2 years. Old Vet now.
ThoughtIKnewYa ( member #18449) posted at 7:19 PM on Thursday, June 12th, 2014
There are a lot of tasty combinations in the Mrs. Dash seasoning line (no salt).
Enjoy your visit with your dad. 
ETA: http://www.mrsdash.com/products/seasoning-blends
[This message edited by ThoughtIKnewYa at 1:19 PM, June 12th (Thursday)]
tesla ( member #34697) posted at 7:31 PM on Thursday, June 12th, 2014
Damn, I'm sorry nik. This just sucks.
(((((nik)))))
"Thou art the son and heir of a mongrel bitch." --King Lear
still2suspicious ( member #31722) posted at 9:37 PM on Thursday, June 12th, 2014
I am so sorry NIK.
Sending prayers to you and your Dad.
I agree with those who have said if you can, go to him now. He may feel some relief to have you there, holding his hand. We all feel better when we have loved ones with us.
Me: BSHim: WHDDay: LTEA Every storm runs out of rain - Gary Allen
D final 2/23
confused615 ( member #30826) posted at 9:43 PM on Thursday, June 12th, 2014
BS(me)44
FWH 48
4 kids
M: June 2001
D-Day: 8/10/10
..that feeling you get in your stomach, when you heart's broken. It's like all the butterflies just died.
NaiveAgain ( member #20849) posted at 1:55 AM on Friday, June 13th, 2014
Aaawww ((((NIK)))) I'm so sorry for what you are going thru with your dad. Sending positive thoughts and hugs.....
Original WS D-Day July 10, 2008. Kept lying, he is gone.
New WS (2 EA's, no PA) 12-3-13
If you don't like where you are, then change it. You are not a tree.
nowiknow23 (original poster member #33226) posted at 1:27 AM on Sunday, June 22nd, 2014
Dad was released from the hospital about a week ago. He was doing really well over the past week - the infection cleared up and his hemoglobin levels were staying pretty even, but he went back to the ER this afternoon complaining of weakness.
So they admitted him again. This time due to significant fluid on his lungs. He is short of breath to the point where he's having difficulty speaking, although he's made it clear that he's exhausted and scared.
You can call me NIK
And never grow a wishbone, daughter, where your backbone ought to be.
― Sarah McMane
Whalers11 ( member #27544) posted at 2:01 AM on Sunday, June 22nd, 2014
I missed this thread the first time, as I was on vacation and not checking in on SI much. Warm thoughts are with you, dad, and family.
Sad in AZ ( member #24239) posted at 2:05 AM on Sunday, June 22nd, 2014
I'm sorry you're going through this NIK. I know how hard it is. Keeping you, your dad and your family in my thoughts and prayers.
You are important and you matter. Your feelings matter. Your voice matters. Your story matters. Your life matters. Always.
Me: FBS (no longer betrayed nor a spouse)-63
D-day: 2007 (two years before finding SI)
S: 6/2010; D: 3/2011
ThoughtIKnewYa ( member #18449) posted at 2:07 AM on Sunday, June 22nd, 2014
(((nik & dad)))
ETA: Are you there with him now? If not, I would drop everything and go be with him. I'm so sorry you have you have to go through this, (((nik))). Please go be with him.
[This message edited by ThoughtIKnewYa at 8:10 PM, June 21st (Saturday)]
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