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not really a concern - it used to be much more leering. Now, it's just a glance. I am with him when it happens. He did it last night at an event. I guess I should start a thread on it - he looked at a woman who was with OW2 when they met - and while I usually say to myself that a glance is ok, this triggered me so I guess that's why I'm bothered. And he didn't even recognize her. When he met OW2 I asked why Ow2 and not OW's friend (the one we saw last night)? he said OW2 was much more friendly. But... you can imagine how I felt seeing OW's friend last night. Threatened.

This is not a topic for Menz. Sorry everyone... but it helped typing it out to get to the bottom of it.

I look at attractive women. And men too. I'm very straight but women are beautiful to look at. A long appraising glance is hurtful though.

Men, how did you feel about your wives' bodies during pregnancy? Attracted? Repelled? No change?

Men, how did you feel about your wives' bodies during pregnancy? Attracted? Repelled? No change?

A Pregnant wife is the most beautiful thing in the world.....

Enjoy the beauty of creating a life. Mr. Green wont be able to keep his hands off you.

Rachel, I'm sorry you triggered and for not being helpful to you.

Men, how did you feel about your wives' bodies during pregnancy? Attracted? Repelled? No change?

Jana, I didn't feel sexual attraction often during the later stages of pregnancy because in my mind sex seemed kind of invasive to the baby, but still it happened a time or two without problems.

I've always been powerfully attracted to my wife, though. So for the most part, no change.

Men, how did you feel about your wives' bodies during pregnancy? Attracted? Repelled? No change?

For my WW, I thought it was beautiful. Not attracted to other pregnant women though. As far as repelled, I'm not usually repelled unless the woman is making everything about her pregnancy in an annoying way. Pregnant women get noticed just by being pregnant, and already getting the attention that comes with it. To draw more attention...well....

looked at a woman who was with OW2 when they met

If my WW were to do something like that, I would most definitely trigger too.

Pregnant women get noticed just by being pregnant, and already getting the attention that comes with it. To draw more attention...well....

Yeah, that's so true! I wanted a cloak of invisibility later on in my pregnancy with my daughter.

Thanks guys. I know I've posted questions about weight earlier on in the thread. Apparently I have body image issues. My weight is actually stable now thanks to thyroid meds but I'm getting that belly and wonder what my H secretly thinks of me looking like buddha.

because in my mind sex seemed kind of invasive to the baby

You know you would have to be packin' a garden hose to get anywhere near the baby, right?

You know you would have to be packin' a garden hose to get anywhere near the baby, right?

LOL, maybe I was. Either way, when wives are pregnant we men go into super protection secret service mode, and it's hard not to. If WW was pregnant and someone slapped that belly, you might think you saw a rabid animal. To go from that to sex... sometimes, it's a handle-with-care / better-safe-than-sorry mindset.

Was for me anyways.

[This message edited by Notthevictem at 2:22 PM, November 14th (Friday)]

NTV, my H was similar when I was in the third trimester with our daughter. He felt like it was weird because she was just so - OUT THERE at that point, you could see her moving. It just felt weird/wrong to him.

Pregnant. Oh wow. Enthralled, entranced, pick an adjective that describes enraptured and you hit it on the head. Post pregnancy? Battle scars suffered for me. Proud of them. Even more beautiful.

Here's the thing. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. I married her. I really like to hold her.

let's say you're married to a 7. Why then look at a 5?

For me, I think it's my wiring. On one hand, I'm ADD - highly distractible. Movement catches my eye.

I'm also straight, so when it's a woman who catches my eye, I notice and enjoy what I see.

Here’s the thing, though. My W gets through to me via all my senses. Other women connect only visually. I probably would like connecting with them via other senses, too – but I’m just never going to try that out, at least as long as I’m M.

My W has never been bothered by my looking. Since I think I'm wired to look, that was good luck.

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During pregnancy, I found her very attractive, and I felt very protective.

[This message edited by sisoon at 2:36 PM, November 14th (Friday)]

You know you would have to be packin' a garden hose to get anywhere near the baby, right?

jk...I didn't say it was rational, it was just a mental hurdle I had to overcome a time or two. Relaxing and going with the flow eventually worked.

For me, these issues are well in the past. If any man out there is struggling with it, give me a p/m and I'll give you my two cents.

LOL, maybe I was.

Fair enough, lol.

I guess for me, in the later stages of pregnancy, *I* wanted to *forget* about being pregnant once in a while (don't we all that late in pregnancy?), and I wish he could have pretended the bump wasn't there and treated me like a *woman* again, instead of like an alien with a baby alien inside of me (which is what I felt like)..

Here’s the thing, though. My W gets through to me via all my senses. Other women connect only visually.

yes!!! yes!!! yes!!!

Brilliant

Here’s the thing, though. My W gets through to me via all my senses. Other women connect only visually.

Is a visual connection enough to be physically arousing?

I understand men look. Heck I look but I have never "wet my pants" by looking at another man. Can't say the same for my wh. I just don't know what's normal...but I do find it a bit disturbing. And if the tables were turned and I was the one becoming physically aroused just by looking at a man I am 100% sure my wh would be pissy about it.

T/j. I love the garden hose comment! My wh always feared he would be hitting the baby in the head during sex lol

This is a take off from Rachel's question.

Are you more likely to be attracted to a 10, or a good enough 5 that might think you (the guy) is a 9?

I can understand looking at a 10 (not oggling) because I think I'd look too. I'm trying to understand the appeal of a 5.

FWIW- I've totally wet my pants just by looking at a guy. I think people are just different. It's not only a man vs woman thing.

[This message edited by BtraydWife at 8:27 AM, November 15th (Saturday)]

I didn't mean to say that only men can be aroused visually. I just want to understand if the fact my wh's underwear being crusty is normal with just a visual stimuli as opposed to something physically happening.

Some days are more crusty than others. I haven't been prudent enough to mark which days it is to see if these are the days he has his female break buddy...

He says that "it happens". He sees a woman and bam it happens...not a full ejactulation but enough to make me question whether or not something else is going on.

this is just so difficult for me to understand. there is no way I could be attracted to someone, or even think they're attractive, without knowing them.

I change my panties at least twice a day.

Sometimes I get wet just when someone pleasant but not sexual happens. I would have to think that it could be the same for guys. That crust wouldn't automatically mean there had been sexual excitement.

this is just so difficult for me to understand. there is no way I could be attracted to someone, or even think they're attractive, without knowing them.

For me, some guys are less attractive when they open their mouth and talk. Like their personality takes away from their physical appearance enough to ruin whatever they have going on in the looks department. Actually this happens a lot with me.

[This message edited by BtraydWife at 9:04 AM, November 15th (Saturday)]

She used to fuss if she had to clean up behind me. Nagging makes me feel like I’m under attack and de-valued. Is that how you want your spouse to feel?

Do you think that having to clean up behind you might make her feel de-valued? Is that how you want your spouse to feel? Why don't you clean up after yourself? That sounds snarky but I really am curious.

This has been an ongoing problem with my husband and me. During our marriage, I have cleaned, grocery shopped, done the laundry, cooked, all of it except the finances and bill paying. Even when I work full time.

So when I ask for him to carry his share, he says he's not ask picky as me (I'm NOT a neat freak, believe me) and he shouldn't have to keep up with my standards because his are lower. And I've tested this. I have let our bathroom go weeks without cleaning just to see what would happen. Nothing.

Plus, he doesn't even pick up after himself. Dishes are left where he finishes eating. Clothes on the floor. Messes everywhere. Nothing is put away. If he gets it out, he leaves it where he last used it. No matter what it is. Even his tools. I cannot tell you how many hammers we have because he can't find one and buys another rather than look or put it away the next time.

When I nag him to help I'm the bad guy. Why isn't he the bad guy for not carrying his weight?

[This message edited by sudra at 10:26 AM, November 15th (Saturday)]