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Sudra, yes cleaning up after someone would suck but if they aren't pulling their share it might be inconsiderate... i take nagging as a personal attack. Insofar as the cleaning up to your standards I have made that comment myself. It has more to do with how I feel if she pointed out something I missed said she would have done it different/ better or came behind me to clean. I don't think its necessarily a men/women thing as I've heard same gender roommates make similar complaints. Maybe a chore list with divided tasks would help... idk a couple married longer may have better ideas. Ideally each should pull their own weight.

Btrayed, attracted to and the squirrel thing men do is completely different for me. Looks are only one of many factors I would take into account... and probably has more to do with whether I would be interested in meeting than anything further. Personality means so much more. If I was single I would prefer a 5 that had a positive attitude and was a good person than a 10 that was negative or self-centered. As far as whether she thinks I'm a 10 8 9 whatever (I'm a 10 BTW, lol) it would be interesting but besides that irrelevant. If my looks were a major or continuing factor at some point I would imagine I would feel like she was shallow... idk. Maybe superficial is a better word?

Ok Menz,

if your SO enjoyed giving oral but not swallowing, would that be good enough or would you rather not receive anything?

if your SO enjoyed giving oral but not swallowing, would that be good enough or would you rather not receive anything?

Yes, that would good enough. More than good enough.

Yes, that would good enough. More than good enough.

Agree.

Yes good enough, but when I've had a woman swallow (and like it, don't do it if you don't like it) it's an incredible, unbelievable pleasure rush. I remember some of those moments vividly from before I got married (so this is 20+ years...)

It's a great gift to give a man. But if you're not into it he will probably be able to tell, so don't do it out of some sense of obligation.

Yes, that would good enough. More than good enough.

Partially agree. Swallowing is awesome, but mot necessairily required. And there are other alternatives - spitting, facials, on the body, etc? (sorry if that's too graphic).

I once read (I can't remember where) that a woman swallowing is a sign of her acceptance of him, and that not accepting can sometimes be interpreted subconsciously as rejection.

Not sure thats true, but it was an interesting perspective to read.

For me my thought is this - many men if not most have been exposed to porn. It may well be a corruptive force that always leaves you seeking that "next level", but I also find it can be something that exposes some of your hidden desires.

I would love for my wife to be my porn star and act out the things I want to do, but being th WH, it's a very difficult topic to approach, even in my mind.

In any case, no, swallowing would not be a deal breaker.

if your SO enjoyed giving oral but not swallowing, would that be good enough or would you rather not receive anything?

Hold on, let me go tell my wife it isn't enough that she likes to put my dick in her mouth.

Wait, no. No, I'm not going to do that at all. Just like I'm not going to drop an anvil on my balls. Because it makes no sense.

swallowing is an ego kibble

You're a smart man, StillGoing

Okay men, here's one that's been bugging me. WH and I have been together 15 years. He swears he wasn't even attracted to AP. She had no boobs and no ass. I'm tiny, but curvy. He swears that he loves my body, and would pretend it was me when he was with her. I am doubtful that after 15 years, my body is the one he fantasizes about. He says that he doesn't fantasize about other bodies. He used to watch porn, and says that fulfilled any curiosity about other bodies. Now, there is no porn. And a very healthy sex life. But could my body really be the only one he thinks about?

I love the way the SI men respond to these questions. Sometimes I love it because... well... it's too darn funny But mostly I love reading about the way you LOVE and feel about your wives - stretch marks as battle scars for you? all boobies are good boobies, all the who-ha stuff, protective of your wives when pregnant. LOVE IT ALL. I wish I could believe my husband loves me like that. (I have a hard time believing him no matter what he says or how many times he says it)

I have a question. Please don't let mine detract from anyone else's. I know anal has already been discussed... but this is a little different. Has anyone ever tried it and NOT liked it? I have a problem with this because this is something that pre-A I was willing to give to my husband. He is the one who said he wanted to. And I said okay. But then he never followed through with it. He said he felt like he was hurting me and he didn't want to hurt me He did it with OW though. He has told me it was an "accident" HUGH? And that it only happened once and he didn't like it. Please enlighten me. Sometimes I read threads in this group where a man is feeling bad because his wife did stuff with AP that she wouldn't do with him. I am a always a little too sympathetic on those threads... because of this. This hurts me A LOT.

My husband, by the way, has told me that not swallowing would make him feel bad/ rejected. And no. I don't consider him a total asshole because he feels this way. I have always swallowed. And I have always liked it, so he wasn't trying to hurt me or talk me into it or anything. He was just being honest.

Ugh.

Can't believe I posted any of this! But I really want to know

if your SO enjoyed giving oral but not swallowing, would that be good enough or would you rather not receive anything?

Like I said earlier in this thread, I never really enjoyed receiving oral to begin with (giving was another story), but that wouldn't be an issue either way.

But could my body really be the only one he thinks about?

I think finding another body attractive visually and wanting to touch another body are two different things. There are different types of bodies, and there are things to appreciate about all of them, but I only wanted to touch my ex when we were together.

but this is a little different. Has anyone ever tried it and NOT liked it?

The ex and I tried it and I liked the way it felt, but it hurt her and that ruined it for me. Then she started getting hemorrhoids. We never did it again, and I was glad because I didn't want to hurt her.

[This message edited by h0peless at 4:15 PM, November 17th (Monday)]

Forgivinghard I don't know how it could be an accident, my WH likes anal and I need some work up before that happens! Accidentally would end up with me clinging to the ceiling fan!!!!!! But everyone is different maybe she's larger in that area (let me for you!)

Would you feel better if you two did try it so you could reclaim it as your guys experience?

The ex and I tried it and I liked the way it felt, but it hurt her and that ruined it for me. Then she started getting hemorrhoids. We never did it again, and I was glad because I didn't want to hurt her.

Lots and lots of lube, correct positions, shots of alcohol, and SLOW music on the radio.

Gosh I'm glad this site is anonymous

New Question~ I was chatting with my best friend who happens to be a dude (full-on 100%, wouldn't fuck me even if I really needed it, "vaginas are icky" gay).

I was talking to him about my current SO I've broken up with, sort of relating it to my ex, and for some reason I asked about my friend's ex-boyfriend that cheated on him about a year ago that he has since got over and has a new man. He actually got offended I would bring it up since he "never even thinks about it"..

I wondered if it was a guy thing that you don't relate your current experiences back to your old ones? Is it just cause I'm a woman I constantly zone out and do that in my head? Or this has nothing to do with men and women and I need to stop doing this?

I guess I'm curious if you think more than 50% of the guys are able to move on without comparing past experiences in new ones, as compared to women. Do you think it's easier to move on and let things go for you guys?

Do you think it's easier to move on and let things go for you guys?

Spend some time reading in the Betrayed Mens forum and see how easy it is for us to get through this

I don't know if it's a men or women way of dealing with things, but more of how different people choose to deal with it.

Do you think it's easier to move on and let things go for you guys?

My ex was my first really serious relationship, and I don't think I'll ever forget about that, but for people I casually dated before her it was always pretty much out of sight, out of mind. I never compared her to anyone else. I have no idea if it will be like that with the next person I have a relationship with. I suspect not, ebcause things were serious with the ex, but I damn well hope the next one compares favorably!

I have a question…

In her relationship with you, what things do you wish your partner were more thankful for (aside from your fidelity)?

In her relationship with you, what things do you wish your partner were more thankful for (aside from your fidelity)?

I always wished the things I did were acknowledged and appreciated. For example, I took care of the cars. I would spend all day working on her car, washing it, waxing it and was never so much as thanked for it. I did most of the cooking and she always complained about what I made. I washed and folded the laundry and she didn't care. I put her to sleep with a back rub every night and she never told me that she appreciated but complained on the occasions when i didn't. She always noticed when I didn't empty the dishwasher or get the yard work done in a timely manner, though. She always noticed when I hadn't gotten everything off of the baseboards when I vacuumed. It was really frustrating.