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WS Only

[This message edited by SI Staff at 5:24 PM, July 15th (Tuesday)]

just posted on that in porn addiction. maybe we discuss there? to keep this thread on track.

shining.... I cannot say. I did a couple times, I think both men and women do, but not on a regular basis.

agreed drjeckyll

[This message edited by SorryInSac at 2:10 PM, July 15th (Tuesday)]

What is not normal is for him to do that exclusively and stop sex with his wife.

tired girl is correct, Sac it is not that you no longer had sexual desire. just none with your BS

(Betrayed Spouse) It appears as though you were lashing out and punishing her. Why?

I was not meaning to punish her. It was a timing thing. When the mood hit (her), I was always too sore and tired. when I lay on the bed, I am pretty much done. I should have talked to her about this, I thought she knew. I have trouble staying awake past 9 anymore. There was no punishment intended.

so then your default coping mechanism, is to not discuss but take care of yourself.

It seems that way

Having trouble buying all of that. As apparently you weren't too tired for all of the extra curricular activities you engaged in. So at what point did you start putting all your energy there instead of your M? And why?

You are 3 days out from DDay? Have you told her the truth yet? the whole truth? The stuff she didn't have to find? The whole story?

I would have to say a quick and easy fix. No one around, just do it. No real energy needed.

Yes, I have. She does not believe me, but I brought that. I try to remember everything. I just don't. I think I have. I want to come clean from this, if it is at all possible.

Be back in a few, my head is spinning, need to lay down for a bit.

I am back

The facts are out there now. I posted my privates on the web, signed up on adult sites, responded to ads on craigslist, and masturbated instead of making love to my wife. How do I fix this?

Will I ever be able to regain her trust?

I am here on this site because my marriage is worth saving. I am afraid, and ashamed. I feel sorry for her having to find this out, as it never should have happened. I need help to work through this.

Will I ever be able to regain her trust?

Honestly, at this point, I doubt it. You've lied repeatedly, minimized, and deflected for so long coupled with the fact that this isn't your BS's first rodeo with infidelity - you have your work cut out for you, for sure. That doesn't mean all hope is lost, though. Don't give up, don't stop fighting. Regardless of what happens, you still need to work on you.

SIS...

I can appreciate you reaching out for support, it's just that I get the feeling that your words are empty. I don't feel any emotion behind them. I realize that it's not easy to convey over the internet and in written format, however usually there is some emotion that is expressed.

Maybe you're in shock or denial...I don't know, all I know is if I were your wife and reading your posts it would not bring me much hope.

I sincerely want to see you both succeed, but I feel you really need to reach down deep and expose all the ugly things that were stored up inside you. It's truly the only way to inner peace, forgiveness and true, core life changes.