SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

MC = Marriage Counselling

IC = Independent Counselling

D = Divorce

All 3 of these should have been options

not having an A (A = Affair) whether EA (Emotional Affair) OEA (Online Emotional Affair) or PA (Physical Affair)

MC marriage counselling,,,, got it. I did not think we needed it. I had been to counseling for anger management ( was supposed to help me keep my job) so have very mixed feelings on counseling.

Re: Mixed feelings about IC....

Its obvious what you have been doing isn't working out so hot for ya, so at this point, what have you got to lose?

You cant wing this man. You have addictive, obsessive behaviors. IC can and will hold you accountable. As well as help you work thru this crap.

why would you not need counseling in a living separate lives, and rather pleasure yourself than than be intimate with your BS (Betrayed Spouse)?

I understand the thoughts on counseling. My question is if you try on a shirt and it is too tight, do you have mixed feelings about wearing shirts? Why would this be different?

I was going to add something in regards to the counseling and legal matter, but it does not pertain to why I am here.

Aubrie... think you may have a point there.

Dr.Jekyll.... same

SIS,

I have been reading both threads. Without being specific about what's being said elsewhere, it sounds like your depression is severe. I recognize a lot of commonalities in my own decades-long struggle with same.

I urge you to work with your doctor or psychiatrist if you're seeing one. It doesn't just "get better" on its own.

[This message edited by heartbroken0903 at 1:00 PM, July 15th (Tuesday)]

You have addictive, obsessive behaviors. IC can and will hold you accountable.

I believe I remember her telling me that I have this...

And how did you respond? What were you feeling then?

heartbroken... can you specify some common, and why do you think severe?

Aubire.... I think I just laughed it off and said no I don't.

So I believe that Dr J brought up a good point. Did you get into porn around the time that you started taking care of yourself?

yes I did

Shouldn't have opened my mouth because it's against the rules to take content from other posts and discuss elsewhere.

The things that stand out to me from your posts, and that I can relate to: the tiredness, sleeping during majority of time off, difficult shifts/burnout at work, loss of temper/difficult interpersonal relationships with colleagues, and frustration with unemployment/underemployment. Add to that your sporadic taking of ADs/not taking as prescribed...that can make depression even worse.

Was porn a big part of your life prior to all of this?

No, not at all. In fact I used to scoff at porn.

heartbroken..... I don't think you violated any rules on giving you opinion. I thank you for that. And I have often wondered if I was more depressed, or even manic depressant.

So there is a correlation between using porn, taking care of yourself and stopping sex with your W? Understand, I am not blaming porn here.

tired..... thinking that may have started playing a part in it.. and no, the porn was not to blame, it was me.

the reason that I asked about porn, was for myself porn distorted my thoughts for years before I strayed. It is very common. It is a player in the game, but not the WHY.

Something you will need to look at through this process is all of the players in the game and the WHY. the players are going to be all of the boundaries that you have broken. drinking, porn, medicines, friends, FOO (family of origin) CSA (childhood sexual abuse) CoD (Co-Dependance) ETC.

When was your DDay (day of revelation)?