SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

Blimey, it's all been going on hasn't it!

They had been having problems because he had not held a job in over twelve years. She explained her journey from being a co-provider to sole provider because his job was cutting too much into his video gaming time. He did not have time for work or “anything else.”

He sounds like quite the catch. A 'real' alpha male in fact....

Do you know if the OM and his betrayed wife are still apart? What are your thoughts about what you are going to do about your own situation going forward?

DoneGone, I would get that entire story on a tatoo on my penis I love it so much

Donegone, you are an amazing guy. The emotional/intellectual composure you have shown - AND you punched the guy out and he got arrested?!? Well, my day has been made. Thanks!

Too bad you did not have a video of the entire incident.

You probably could have sold it to a reality TV program. LOL

Hang in there.

P.S.: Thanks for making my day, reading this gave me a justice boner

Me too

in the process of defending myself he ended up getting beat up pretty bad.

I just love that sentence. So perfectly understated, and yet so completely descriptive.

In one of her email conversations with OM, he joked about me being pathetic and stupid when I walked in on them having lunch at the restaurant. Instead of being confused or suspicious, he stated that I just joined them for a few minutes and left. He said that had it been him, he would have opened up a can of whup ass on the spot.

Even with all that WW was doing, I would have thought she respected me enough to shut down or at least ignore this type of crap. She did quite the contrary. According to WW, this was like a turning point for her. She had been debating on whether or not to sleep with OM. I had actually caught them red handed and everything was still ok. In fact, they joked that it was even better because now they had my blessing because, as I left, I told them to enjoy themselves.

They laughed back and forth about how I could be so dense as to walk in and catch them and yet be so clueless. They were even playing footsies while I was sitting there holding WW’s hand. And the real gut burner is that, according to WW, I was the deciding factor in her deciding to sleep with OM the first time.

vs.

OM was livid when he discovered that I had been talking to his wife. He came to my house when I was still living with WW and warned me of the dire consequences should I ever be so stupid as to even look at his wife again. He said that he and I would have a real problem. I told OM that I guess we had a problem then because I had a dinner date scheduled with his wife that very evening; and I did. It wasn't quite the way I made it sound but seemed to be the right thing to say at the time. I was meeting her for dinner but it was not a date, date. Nor was it a for dinner, dinner. I’ll explain more about that later.

Anyway, he was wild eye’d and crazy. He took a swing at me and in the process of defending myself he ended up getting beat up pretty bad. I hit him so hard that even I was seeing stars. The stupid idiot then says to WW, “Call my wife and tell her I’m knocked out.” My WW ignores him and says to me, “You have a date with OMW tonight?” It was a beautiful thing.

Decisive "MANLY" win goes to DoneGone. I raise my beer mug and give you a Clint Eastwood wink of approval to you, Sir!

She said that OM had always been jealous of me and accused me of marrying WW and then not allowing her to come back to the neighborhood, like they were not good enough for her anymore. I had never thought any thoughts about OM one way or the other. I knew of him but we had never met.

Who knew, DG, that this ass clown held you in contempt for so long that he would rather ignore his own hot wife and play video games than try and emulate your MAN status. What. a. teenager.

And does your WW know about his job-hopping, video game playing douchbaggery lifestyle as well? She still think that's "hot"?

Totally worth requoting this -

I hit him so hard that even I was seeing stars. The stupid idiot then says to WW, “Call my wife and tell her I’m knocked out.” My WW ignores him and says to me, “You have a date with OMW tonight?” It was a beautiful thing.

Fuckin-A, if that isn't the most timely and eloquent situation reversal I've read about. Karma absolutely loved you that day.

I second the motion of leaving your WW and hooking up with OBS. But, that is just my "justice will prevail/romantic" thing going for a bit. Leave the two broken ones to get their shit together and the two healthy adults to make a beautiful life.

lol- It is okay to sleep with your wife, but it isn't okay for you to look at his. The nerve and delusions of wayward spouses. I am so glad I will never get their ego entitlement bullshit.

The line to use with OBS is "we find ourselves in this horrible position, but you've helped me get through this. Thank you"

Women loves honest nice guys who know how to pay a compliment.

in a 1000 years, she would never have imagined it would be my wife he was involved

This is indicative that OMW believes that your wife has you and her husband is a DOWNGRADE.

We decided to meet for lunch. WW is a very good looking woman but has nothing on OM’s wife and I told her so in a joking way. She remarked that after meeting me, she had to wonder how her husband was able to get my wife.

I responded, “After meeting you, I have to wonder how he was able to get you.”

OM is inferior to you, he knows it, his wife knows, your wife knows it, your daughters know it, and I sure hope to God you do too, especially you.

We had a very informative conversation. She said that OM had always been jealous of me

Further proves point he is insecure, he is what we like to call a "HATER." Thats why he over compensates with marrying a beautiful woman to try and feel better about him self, but he can't be you.

accused me of marrying WW and then not allowing her to come back to thee neighborhood,

Serious question: Was your wife from the hood or barrio? Before you married her? If she I ask because this is "hood rat mentally," and street code also dictates her brother catches a beat down too, just saying.

like they were not good enough for her anymore

.

It was you that they and her were not good enough for, you did her a favor

I had never thought any thoughts about OM one way or the other. I knew of him but we had never met.

Of course not, why worry about some low level pice of shit, that is not even on your radar, I mean you don't think about him like you would a roach. (again more of his insecurity)

Truth be known, rather than being antagonistic toward him, when I first ran into them in the restaurant, I was actually glad for my WW. Glad that she had opportunity to reconnect with someone from childhood.

Yes because your mind was not thinking those things because that is not how you live your life so you can't fathom some one doing that because you would not do that. Its not a bad thing and only further shows your nobility and how you see the good in people.

I did not know that it was a rendezvous. I thought she had just ‘bumped’ into him and they were talking about old times.

Again you would not assume such a thing because your mind is not in the Gutter

OMW and myself had a nice lunch

Get an Instagram or facebook, and take a picture together with her, commenting, such a wonderful time with suche a wonderful classy lady. Hashtag#Christianwoman

Nothing romantic,

Not yet, but be kind and nice, like you she has been bamboozled by snakes

just moral support for each other.

And she is good looking? What are you waiting for, if your daughters give blessing, then go for it.

OMW was stunned. She explained that she had been nothing more than a meal ticket for him.

All the more reason for her to be able to enjoy the accompany of a real man

They had been having problems because he had not held a job in over twelve years. She explained her journey from being a co-provider to sole provider because his job was cutting too much into his video gaming time. He did not have time for work or “anything else.”

Pathetic scum bag..

a few things-

OM was livid when he discovered that I had been talking to his wife.

He said that he and I would have a real problem.

The stupid idiot then says to WW, “Call my wife and tell her I’m knocked out.”

OM called the police. When the police got there, OM’s behavior was so bad, the police ended up arresting him.

This pattern of behavior, obsession with you, perusing your wife, lying, manipulation, this is a pattern indicative of dangerous behavior.

There is another thread on here of a Guy names SWAT the OM ended up being a Psycho Path stalker, this ass hat sounds similar.

Not sure what state you reside in bro, but get a CCW or CHL and TELL NO ONE, NOBODY.

I do not think you have seen the last of this idiot.

If you decide to split from your wife and upgrade to this OMW, I would encourage you to use caution and do it for the right reasons, revenge and vindictiveness will not solve anything. Your daughters and you have been through alot and need to heal. Please take care of your self, stay healthy and focused. No booze, eat right, exercise and sleep well.

Anyway, he was wild eye’d and crazy. He took a swing at me and in the process of defending myself he ended up getting beat up pretty bad. I hit him so hard that even I was seeing stars. The stupid idiot then says to WW, “Call my wife and tell her I’m knocked out.” My WW ignores him and says to me, “You have a date with OMW tonight?” It was a beautiful thing.

OM called the police. When the police got there, OM’s behavior was so bad, the police ended up arresting him. Of course he resisted arrest so got another charge of resisting arrest and battery on a police officer. Sweet.

Fabulous!!! You out man'd and out ALPHA'd the POSOM. You have got to be my HERO. You will soon join SpaceGhost in the SI Hall of Fame.

OM was livid when he discovered that I had been talking to his wife. He came to my house when I was still living with WW and warned me of the dire consequences should I ever be so stupid as to even look at his wife again. He said that he and I would have a real problem. I told OM that I guess we had a problem then because I had a dinner date scheduled with his wife that very evening; and I did. It wasn't quite the way I made it sound but seemed to be the right thing to say at the time.

Anyway, he was wild eye’d and crazy. He took a swing at me and in the process of defending myself he ended up getting beat up pretty bad. I hit him so hard that even I was seeing stars. The stupid idiot then says to WW, “Call my wife and tell her I’m knocked out.” My WW ignores him and says to me, “You have a date with OMW tonight?” It was a beautiful thing.

OM called the police. When the police got there, OM’s behavior was so bad, the police ended up arresting him. Of course he resisted arrest so got another charge of resisting arrest and battery on a police officer. Sweet. The police thanked me for my cooperation and I told them I was glad to help; and I was. .

^^^^^This is quite simply priceless, I would have loved to be a fly on the wall. You are one very slick and smart man and I applaud you.

Dire consequences if you look at his wife, but he gets to have his way with your wife. This guy is a loser, playing video games instead of working. He truly isn't good enough to lick the sole of your shoes DG, don't even think he's worth anything.

This was wonderful.

Can I beat the shit out of my WW's AP now? Pretty please???

DG: you're the man. For months we suffered when we knew your wife was manipulating you, but this is turning great. I hope this leads to a great new start in your life (with OMW, or anybody else you find ).

Sybo That just got me thinking. I know this isn't a very Christian thing to type- but if every male BS gave every OM a shiner, maybe there would be less OM running around thinking they were the shit and can do what ever they damn well pleased. As much as I love my husband and we are doing very well, I wouldn't have been opposed to the other betrayed boyfriend kicking my husband's ass to teach him a lesson his father should have been there to teach him. Don't mess with other men's woman and don't treat your own with disrespect. I am not talking about anything to the extent of hospitalization, but just a nice black eye they will have to feel uneasy explaining at work.

The stupid idiot then says to WW, “Call my wife and tell her I’m knocked out.” My WW ignores him and says to me, “You have a date with OMW tonight?”

This is fucking fantastic!

OMW got a good laugh and said she could hardly remember anything about a joystick unless he was referring to his X-box controller.

Pure gold!

I would get that entire story on a tatoo on my penis I love it so much

that made my eyes water!

DG, have you had your WW served yet?

so what happened when you went out that night ? What did WW do or how did she react ? I love the incident btw.

DG, what is your gameplan now ?

I am so sorry you are here. I understand your pain.I too have felt that way. I was between shock and anger. I didn't want any why's. I wanted it NOT to have happened, but I could not undo it.

I wanted what would have been had the affair not happened. I didn't want my world or my truth to change. It was such a hard time because of the anger

Staying with my husband, at first I felt I was living a lie. Then I felt angry and ashamed with myself because I didn't leave him.

I did finally hit acceptance with my husbands actions as well as my own.

However, this is with a very remorseful wayward, and one who has become transparent.

I don't know what your road will be. Maybe like mine, or divorce. Whatever it is, know that your pain will pass and your load will become lighter.

I read all the comments and to be honest, I wish I had the time to reply or comment to everybody. I want to thank everyone who has shown concern to me. I really need and appreciate your wisdom. It is hard going through this and I am thankful I am not alone. Many of you have said things that have been touching and funny. Just your listening to me is greatly appreciated.

Western

so what happened when you went out that night

We met at OMW's sister's house to fill them in. OM had everybody in turmoil.

What did WW do or how did she react ?

WW asked me if I was trying to get even. I inquired innocently, get even for what? WW had steadily denied having sex with OM so I asked her what was there to get even for? I let her know that I was simply going to do what she had done, ‘meet a friend for dinner’. Prior to this, when I had been very concerned with her texting another man, she explained that I was being irrational and that I was only upset because she had never had a man friend before. She insisted that plenty of married women have guys for friends. So I used the logic I had learned from her and said she was only upset because I had never had a woman friend before, and plenty of guys have women friends.

Allow me to say, I was not trying to hurt or punish WW (not much) by remarking that I was meeting OMW for dinner. The first couple of weeks, yea, but by this time I was a little past that. Actually I was taking aim at OM and what I said was calculated to hurt him. WW was standing close enough to get caught in the crossfire and suffered collateral damage. I felt really bad.

WW pleaded for the opportunity to convince me that she would never cheat again. I told her that that was not even relevant to our situation and that I was not worried over the question of will she ever cheat on me again; the most important point is that she cheated on me already. So why worry about the second time she steps out on me? It’s the first time that’s important. I don’t care if the whole thing was some terrible aberration, it still happened. She swore she would spend the remainder of her days making amends for her affair and proving her love for me if I would just give her the opportunity. I asked her, really? How could she do that? If everything was perfect between us and yet she cheated; then how could I expect her not to cheat when nothing could ever be perfect between us again?

During the course of our marriage, she’s proven her love to me every single day in a thousand different ways. I explained this to her. She’s always been caring and attentive; always relating how happy and fortunate she was to have me for a husband. I told her that if her desire is to ‘prove’ how much she loves me, then she is going to be a tough act to follow. She said she would show me how wonderful life could be. I told her I already know how wonderful life can be and now, thanks to her, I also know how terrible it can be.

We both want something that we would give anything to have. She would give anything for just one more chance. I would give anything if she had not cheated on me. If she can give me what I want; I can give her what she wants. I wished not to rub anything in her face. I do not want to make her pay. However, I must find my way through life now and it is a new and strange experience. It’s almost like I have been living in a bubble with no real knowledge of life or how it works. My life has been about my family. My interest revolved around being a good husband, a good father, a good provider. Everything else was secondary.

When my wife cheated it was as if my bubble burst, I plopped to earth and here I am. It is almost like I am living in an alternate reality. The toughest thing about this heart hurt is that it is so ‘daily’. It doesn’t ever really go away, but it does go with me and infests every facet of my life like a disease. Each day is a memory reset and like Ground Hog day, I relive the pain over and over and over. I like waking up excited about the day, my plans and hopes. Since she cheated, I generally wake up deep in depression and hurt. Why do I want to live like that for several years, or the rest of my life. I don’t want that not even another day.

I have always been a “live every day the best I can and get as much out of life as possible.” Staying with her would definitely detract from that. Cheating is not a one-time thing, it comes back and back and back again. I have read on here that cheating is the gift that keeps on giving. Even if she never cheats again, I will continue to know what she did, what she is capable of, and also, not really know if she is not doing it again, right now!

[This message edited by DoneGone at 1:47 PM, August 6th (Thursday)]

thanks for the insight.

Your thoughts echo mine regarding the past cheating.

You knew it was going to be bad when you opened those emails but you had to know the truth. I can only imagine what you meant the other day when you saad 'they had lots of sex'. I feel that right there is too hard to overcome.

Are you going to at least try and divorce to get rid of the house and develop some normalcy and stability to your life ?