SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

Christmas day is our anniversary. Remember? All those wonderful times we have shared over the years. You ruined a great thing and it feels like everything has been destroyed between us. It still hurts. I wish I could change the way things are now, but I know I cant and trying my best to move forward and leave this all behind me. I pray that you find a way to heal and become a better person. I loved you dearly.

Yup, this is a hard Xmas. Wish you could well in your loneliness, but I know you'll have found some hollow way not to notice it.

Fucking psycho. I feel very alone, and know it, because I allow myself to feel. Go fuck a snowwoman you piece of ice.

I HATE you you heartless numbskull.

Merry Christmas tithead. Guess you have it all. New woman, new baby, her kids (for the day anyway). This time last year you wanted to save us, now you don't even know I am alive. So Christmas with her and the kids with no friends and no family.....tell me honestly was it worth it? Was this what you really wanted?

Oops my mistake.....I would need a Christmas miracle for you to tell the truth!

As I awoke to my lonely bedroom in the rental in which I live, anger washed over me that I'm not in the house I co own on this Christmas morning. There are no piles of presents and smiling faces. No busy-ness, frantic last minute cooking, no jumping in the truck & "off to grandmother's house we go".

Now our son will have to drive 4 hours today to spend Christmas away from me, with your family.

You know he commutes 3 hours EVERY day for work, right? That today was his break from that. Supposedly.

Yourself & OW are so damn "important" that you had to ruin a whole bunch of lives to be with her...

So now we, your family, live in the boonies, in said rental, because that's what we could afford.

While the house I co own sits empty M-Th every week, and is your & OWs little love nest every weekend, when you're off work.

So, this year SHE is waking up in OUR bedroom Christmas morning.

SHE will open gifts with you, make breakfast, spend time. In our "family" house. Where your FAMILY should be.

Now our kids will be separated on Christmas day,& I don't get the day with my child...because you're selfish.

I'll never be guaranteed full Holidays with my kids anymore.

That chaps my ass!

You had a good thing, a loving family, extended family that all got along, people who cared for you & wanted to be with you. A house that was home. Someone who was faithful & devoted her life to you... and you are too stupid to realize what you traded all that away for.

Merry Christmas...yeah.

Merry fucking Christmas to you. You with your house, your family, your New love, new friends & busy social calendar!

I hope you enjoy it.

Sad thing is, you will. It'll never cross your mind ONCE what you've done to me, the kids, the family.

YOU'RE HAPPY, and after all...and that's all that matters.

I see you have not broken contact with newVictim2 (This is me breaking my rules - STOP OP).

You are such a lying piece of slime. I'm so glad you're out of my life. You're so sick. I'm so sad you caught me out and ruined 3 years of my life. What a pity you were such a great lover, cos that's how you sucked me in, wasn't it. Just being who I needed, because you have no soul, plasticine man. I couldn't be who you needed, because I can only be me. Whoever I had been anyway, you'd have drained and discarded me. You just did it worse with me than the rest, because I saw who you were, deep down, and you couldn't bear that. Or whatever the reason, you needed to destroy me. I hate you, and wish there was a hell for you to rot in. It should be hell enough living in your skin, but you get by, don't you, because nothing ever sinks in. You superficial glass-eyed snake. Psycho.

Right. I am now breaking my rule repeatedly on not checking out ex on the web. This since I discovered he has not broken contact with OW2 as he promised he would.

Please please can I have some 2x4ing. I don't want understanding, we all do it type thing. Please. I just need to STOP. Ex is a psycho and THAT is what I have to come to terms with. That is damn hard and not like the end of a normal relationship. But there is NO NEED for any more information because I SAW ENOUGH in 3 years. Please please help and PM me if necessary. I MUSN'T do this. It has to be radical. Please help.

I will not engage him. I will not engage him. I will not engage him.

I broke my own rule today and responded to her email demanding to know why I decided to D, saying that she "didn't do any of the things I think she did."

I tried to explain as best that this was a choice about me and what I need to do to be happy. I pointed out that even the things she admitted she did were immensely hurtful. I said I'm just trying to protect myself from being hurt again.

And yet, I probably should just not have replied at all.

I miss my cat. I miss my babies. I miss playing board games with the ILs for the holidays. I miss the man you used to be.

I hate the body snatcher that took you over and wish the empty shell it inhabits would just die.

That is all.

BTW cut your hair. You look like a damn hippy Santa Clause.

Can’t thank you enough this Christmas for the big mess you’ve made this year by breaking up our beautiful family. Three beautiful kids and 18 years of marriage down the drain for the piece of trash that you have now moved into our home! I’m sure Christmas was all fun and wonderful for you… You weren’t waking up alone this Christmas morning. You weren’t trying to hold back the tears knowing your family wasn’t going to be all together on Christmas morning for the first time ever. Your weren’t trying to fake a smile at a friend’s house today when you felt so out of place being the only one there without a spouse, and watching all the other families interacting so happily together. No, you have no idea the pain and heartache you have caused. And all this has happened to our family because why? Which one of your numerous lies would you give me now? Oh, poor you. Welcome to reality. You had it all! You were just too blind to see it and now I’m left to try to pick up the shattered pieces while you ride off into the sunset with not one feeling of regret for anything you’ve done. I hope and pray this all catches up to you one day. I hope one day you will feel every ounce of pain and heartache you have caused me and our kids.

Your "Merry Christmas :)" text this morning wasn't seen until 6pm.

WTF? REALLY? Just out of nowhere. Then DS brings home a box of NICE chocolates, a pumpkin pie and a card for me...from YOU? And more gifts from your family too?

Very nice, thank you all.

I'm glad they don't hate me simply because we're divorcing.

But, what I needed were phone calls in those 18mos. since Dday when you chose OW, more than candy & trinkets now.

I was barely hanging by a thread...

I needed someone to throw me a lifeline.

DS said you're gonna fix my car and send it down to me, so I don't have to walk with my arthritis in the cold & rain?

Again, very nice. I hope you do.

Is this you finally seeing what a douche you've been?

Or just more of you trying to make ME look crazy vindictive when I'm not throwing myself at your feet, thrilled?

DS sure seems to think this was all just SO wonderful, and it was, I suppose.

AT LEAST HE FELT JOY ON CHRISTMAS, that I'm happy about.

He hates the tension. So do I.

☆I don't trust you.☆

Sadly, I miss you.

I wish we COULD talk like normal human beings. We can't.

It confuses me, hurts me.

I just can't "forgive & forget".

Too many cruelties, too many injustices, oh, yeah, there's that STD thing I get to live with the rest of my life, too.

I can't believe I broke NC & thanked you by text, made minor holiday chit chat in another!

WTF, me?

NC for almost 6 months. Bam! Gone, that easily. Because you were my best friend & confidant for almost 30 years...and I'm alone now, & I'm frikken lonely...and I STILL -somehow- have a hard time realizing you're more foe than friend.

*I did it because I was raised right. To be polite. It was Christmas. Whatever the excuse, that fucking bitch hope popped her unwanted self into my heart.*

Damn it.

[KickingMyselfInTheAss] Some people never learn.

Back to NC.

Back to realizing you're not my "friend".

BACK TO CRYING.

Fuuuuuuck.

[This message edited by WowItsReallyReal at 10:09 AM, December 26th (Saturday)]

I really really really hate that my babies are gone for the week. This is the longest I've ever been away from them. I didn't think it would be this hard when I agreed to let them spend a week with Dipshit. I won't make that mistake again.

BTW, I hate him and hope someday he feels even just half the pain I've put him through. Fuck him and his whore.

You broke us, you knew what we had and you choose to take the chance and broke us. You didn't do enough to R you externalised you never looked inwards..when you did briefly it was too late.

We broke Xmas eve ...i cldnt ride the misery train in to 2016...and you weren't changing the direction of the train.

You blamed me for the break up after 14 years was extremely awful abusive and out of control...on both sides. We both said things solely aimed to hurt the other...and it worked...were wounded soldiers but you caused the war. You called me and text me lots immediately after with one threat after the other, lashing out. I answered one of your calls I cld hear your pain, but it was disguised under all the anger...you never let me in and you still blame me for what you've done...

One text message you admitted you don't love yourself hence the major ###kup...but that's all I got..

Xmas day you called with threats again...I didn't answer the second call.

.

You have blocked me...its for the best...we still love

..we still care.

The pain us unbearable at times id rather stop and be no more..it hurts that I know your hurting...

If ...big if you got IC help addressed your internal issues ...and then MC ...there maybe hope...the reality is that will not happen...

My family hate you now as the argument ending it all was soo bad...

I hope to love and live again ..ill think of you often xx

Well, I feel like absolute shit, like I'm getting worse not better, BUT I no longer post here every day so HA! I don't feel the urge to speak to you. I just hope you feel lonely and rot. You won't though, because you always win.

You just can't help yourself, can you?

You spiteful, sniping, arrogant prick.

All the unease

All the tension

All the sadness and depression in this house... has one common denominator.

YOU!

You total arsehole.

With you, Mad Old Bat! (())

Well I hope you are happy. You not only ruined our lives, but our DD as well. How did it feel when your whore told our daughter she couldn't stand her? I know you defended our DD this time, but what about the other times you sided with your whore? Our DD is smart though. She audio taped the whole argument and played it for me. A long 15 minute tirade with you trying to mediate between the two women in your life. How you can stay with someone who treats your daughter like that? Blows my mind.

And now we have have had two suicide attempts/scares from our daughter within the last month. Of course you won't take any blame for these cry's for help. You didn't get the calls from the school, I did. You didn't read her diary or mood charts stating how she feels like shit when she is near that bitch, I did. You don't dole out her medicine every morning and every night, I do. You didn't have to buy a safe to lock up all the meds and "sharps" in the house so she wouldn't try to hurt herself again, I did. You only have gone to one of the mandatory meetings that we have to go to. And in that one, DD had to nudge you to keep you from dozing off. You didn't have to tell DD that I got the final date for when our house is being auctioned off, foreclosed on if you will, because you stopped paying the mortgage because you couldn't pay for two residences, I did. I am the one that saw in her eyes the pain she was trying to register, probably thinking great, another change, another loss. I did. And when I texted you that information, and all I got from you was "Ok, thanks" I realized you don't give a crap about anyone but yourself. And when confronted with my response to your text I got "Relax, I will help you move". I don't need your frigging help. I needed some compassion. But I forgot that is something you don't have anymore. You didn't have to tell her when the court date for our divorce was, I did. I tell you, Jan 14th cannot come soon enough. Affairs, foreclosure on the home we built, daughters mental problems and divorce. You are going to regret what you did these past five years. And although I know you will never apologize to me, I hope you find it in your heart to make amends to our daughter who didn't ask for any of this hell.

You're engaged. You're expecting a baby with your fiance. We haven't been together for well over a year and the divorce was finalized over three months ago. When are you going to stop trying to get to me? I dropped DS off to you on Saturday and you made a point of saying you didn't think "we" would be back in town in time for drop off the next day due to going out of town for Christmas with your family. You said this at the last minute while you and DS were walking away and I could tell by the look on your face you were just trying to get a reaction out of me. I didn't give you a reaction and I just responded by reiterating the drop off time and you ended up being 15 minutes early anyway so I know it was just to mess with me. I knew you said it to get to me so I would knew where you and DS were going and the "we" included PF and her kids. You think I miss your judgmental, redneck family and would just be crying at home wishing I were there ? You truly don't have better things to do with your time than get to me? All this time later and attempting to get a reaction by using DS is still important to you? And the crap this morning about you having the day off but not letting me know if you were taking DS to daycare or keeping him for the day as I agreed was okay? Not letting me know where my son was spending his day so I would know where to pick him up after work? I hope I can raise DS to be a better man than you.