SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

Good, nohope! Have you made a list of the questions you need to ask?

How are you feeling? Are you taking care of yourself?

Have a few, need more I'm sure. Still in a bit of a fog. Have a migrane that just won't go away.

let us know how it goes

NH16: Again, read through your thread and pull questions from it / all questions that have been suggested by responders to your situation. Those questions pretty well cover the territory you need to cover. Sorry about the headache, probably mostly due to the stress you're feeling right now. Sit down, close your eyes, breathe deeply and slowly for ten minutes; maybe that will help you calm down a little. We all know, this stinks and it is NOT easy. But, this is a VERY important time for you to get your ducks in a row. Not what you want to do but what you MUST do. Wishing you well tomorrow. (((( ))))

Just left attorney, going to hire this one. Broke everything down peice by peice. Will have papers ready to file monday.

Well done.

See what we meant about not listening to WW?

Did you get a dedicated VAR?

Are you feeling *better*? Yea, odd question, i know.

Good for you!

Now remember, do not engage your wife. Do not get dragged into any conversations. Nothing positive will come from it at this stage.

Oh - and DO NOT TELL HER you will be filing on Monday. Do not give away your game plan.

And the VAR 5454real mentions is very, very important for your protection.

Hang in there!

Now remember, do not engage your wife. Do not get dragged into any conversations. Nothing positive will come from it at this stage.

Oh - and DO NOT TELL HER you will be filing on Monday. Do not give away your game plan.

This is very, very important.

Do not tell her a thing, do not even hint at anything at all.

You want her to have the full impact of being served. If you were to tell her anything, even a slight hint, that could start a fight, that could start backtracking, that could start about anything bad.

Just stay quiet and confident.

Well done NP, presumably you have a little bit of hope now?

Make sure you get that VAR (or two - one for listening, one for downloading / charging) before the weekend.

Take care of you and your children, and practise, practise, practise you

"I'm sorry you feel that ways"

Do NOT engage in any way with your WW this weekend.

You know that having failed to get you out of the house via legal route, that she is going to ramp up the potential for false domestic violence charges?

Good luck to you NP

MOB

good job. You've made a lot of progress since last week.

Thanks everyone im away for work for weekend, no arguing here

Great job! I'm glad you will be away working this weekend.

Nohope,

I just want to say good luck, I'm pulling for you, and if you ever need support as well as tactics, SI is your place. Just keep your game plan in place, but understand it's okay to be all over the board in terms of emotions. Get out any anger, sadness, bewilderment, frustration, etc., here on this thread if you need to, and keep up the cold hard wall to WW in real life.

And to all of you helping Nohope through this, you guys and gals are awesome. I remember getting similar support when I was on JFO (not that long ago) and it made all the difference to me.

Nohope, we have your back.

It is a serendipitous mercy that you will be out of town this weekend. Not only will you be away from your wife but it will give you a couple of days to reflect.

You’re filing on Monday. Please know that everyone here felt relieved when reading your post stating you’d met with a good attorney and are pulling the trigger.

You will be entering a new world now – the world of divorcing someone you thought you’d be with forever. You will be fighting for your financial future – against the person you love. You will making far reaching decisions while still grappling with a paralyzing broken heart. AND you will be paying for this painful process in 10 minute increments.

It sucks.

Let me offer a few suggestions:

1) This is war. Your wife is primed and cunning.

2) She is not your friend. Your wife is primed and cunning.

3) You must not let your guard down. Your wife is primed and cunning.

4) Introduce yourself on the Divorce/separated forum. They can offer step by step legal and emotional wisdom and support that will be invaluable. Because remember - Your wife is primed and cunning.

You are doing so well. This is terrifying territory. Life as you knew it has changed and you are now required to be quick on your feet while dealing with soul crushing sorrow. You must be completely clear headed while experiencing confusion that brings people to their knees.

But you are showing tremendous strength and courage. You've got this.

Keep posting. We are here for you.

Self-Rescuer is absolutely correct. Please heed her advice

Good for you, NH. Once your WW is served, she'll either wake up or she won't. Either way, be prepared to take care of YOU. Either way, there is a great deal of work ahead of you: a new world with a 'new, trustworthy, revised version' of your WW or.... the same ol' WW who still has done nothing wrong. I so badly wanted R with xh; after 6 months of me doing the 'pick me' and him still lying and cheating, it became a matter of self preservation. He was killing me ever so slowly but I wasn't yet ready to die. I did get angry during the 6 months of false R; packed him up twice but he wouldn't leave because he just loved me so much, I needed to 'give him more time to put himself back together.' I fully believe, had I not made the visit to the lawyer, we would still be married, he would still be cheating and I would be slowly dying a little more each day. Again, take care of YOU. (((( ))))

Checking in brother.

Update?

At lawyers right now dropping off retainer

[This message edited by nohope16 at 1:31 PM, March 21st (Monday)]

Good for you! You're one step closer to Surviving Infidelity.