SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

I went out once with a guy that neglected to tell me that he had Tourette's. I spent an entire meal seated across from him while he jerked his head and said "cha-CHiNG!"rather loudly.

Oh. My. God.

Wow! Not disclosing that to someone ahead of time can be pretty jarring.

I have a similar story. This was a long time ago but I had an online date who neglected to tell me he was a paraplegic. He had a customized van and was self sufficient that way but I had to open up the sugar packets for his iced-tea and cut his steak. We went to the movies after dinner and during a quiet movie scene I heard running water. I thought another movie go'er behind me spilled their drink and it was running down to the front.

Nope. It was him peeing.

I bottled so many feelings, thoughts and reactions over those 4 hours that all I could do was cry once I got back to my car.

The good part of the story is that we are still good friends to this day. Unfortunately I am not the kind of person who can take on a partnership like that. But I was 26 at the time and my view of relationships was so different.

Was on OLD for a couple of months. After many obvious "one size fits all messages," where they clearly never bothered to read my profile... I got one from a guy who was currently in prison for murder, and had been for 33 years. He was expecting to get out in a year or two and wanted a woman.

I gave up and deleted my profile.

[This message edited by xswimmer at 1:47 PM, April 27th (Wednesday)]

guy who was currently in prison for murder, and had been for 33 years. He was expecting to get out in a year or two and wanted a woman.

Holy sh...!!!

Skeered, you're thinking of Sazzy's date with Cheesy Nut Man I think.

Faith, YES! I think that's it. I would love to hear that one again!

Xswimmer, how did you find out about the murder and prison situation?

I went out once with a guy that neglected to tell me that he had Tourette's. I spent an entire meal seated across from him while he jerked his head and said "cha-CHiNG!"rather loudly.

I actually have Tourette's Syndrome (not as bad as your guy, but at least as bad when I was a kid), and I am cracking up.

how did you find out about the murder and prison situation?

It was in his profile.

Looked like a prisoner, too.

Have to wonder if it was some kind of joke.

I reported it and he disappeared.

These are good!

Well, there was the guy who was openly gay and then tried to kiss me....he's a former Navy officer with a very high profile job in my city too....I pushed him away, sort of trying to laugh it off, and when he finally left, a snowplow driver across the street called out to me, "WELL, THAT was awkward!"

Then there was the widower who blamed his dead wife for everything that's gone wrong in his life.

Okay, then there was the guy who asked me out on a second date, asked me to tell him which night worked for me, and then blew me off! When he did so, I tried to forward his text to a friend, and I called him a Bad Word but I actually sent the text with the bad word to HIM instead of my friend!

He deserved it, but I nearly died of embarrassment.

Good Story: the sweet, steady and consistent guy that is cooking me dinner tonight. No weird stories, no drama.

I had been talking to a guy for a few weeks. Really good looking. Really thick southern accent. I knew he was young. 19 and I was 23. And, I convinced myself that 4 yrs was not a big deal. I wouldn't have thought twice about dating a 27 yr old, right? He had moved to my state because he'd just been signed with the local minor league baseball team. So far so good. We met, went out for dinner. Had a good time, made out for awhile after dinner. Then...he asked me if I was busy the next weekend? I said no, asked what he had in mind. He wanted to know if I wanted to come to his graduation. His high school graduation.

I met another guy offline, we hit it off, instant chemistry. I went home with him. It didn't go well. I went home, and didn't think much about it. Until maybe a year later, he messaged me on an online dating site, telling me how pretty I was and how much he'd like to go out.I said "you had a chance, I've already seen you naked." He insisted I hadn't, he had no idea what I was talking about. So, I referenced what in particular had went badly the one night. He responded with "oh shit" and blocked me.

And, in online dating stories that ended well (but started off funny), I'm married to a man who messaged me on a dating site. I ignored him, because he had used old pictures and looked 19 and I wasn't doing that again. I ignored him for 8 months, while he tried, about once a month to message me again. He was never rude or mean or pushy, so I never blocked him or anything. Well, completely innocently he finds out we have mutual friends, and he is complaining about nobody being interested in him. Friends are trying to boost his ego "no, you are a great guy! anybody would be lucky to date you!" and he said something along the lines of "tell that to your friend". And they did!

edited to fix spelling

[This message edited by Weatherly at 8:45 PM, April 27th (Wednesday)]

I have a good one!

I was on Match and was sent a profile as a potential match. I read his profile and I was not anything he was looking for at all. I have no idea what algorithm went wrong. We were different races and he did not have MY race as a preference, and several other mis-matches.

So, I thought it was funny and I was in a gregarious mood. I sent him a message saying something like, "Gee, Match thinks we are compatible. But looking at your profile I think they got it wayyyyy wrong! LOL"

He wrote me back and said he really liked my profile and wanted to get to know me better. After the pre-requisite "getting to know you" online we moved to phone, then meeting in person. On our first date I mentioned that my mom was really anxious to hear how it went. He suggested we call her! And we did! It was hilarious.

We carried on a casual relationship for several years! Neither of us were interested in settling down. Neither of us had a lot of time to date. But we enjoyed each other's company. We would take turns having dates in each other's towns and spending the night at each other's homes. He would send flowers to my office on Valentine's day. It was really nice.

Over time it fizzled out and he eventually did get married. But it just goes to show you that the person that really doesn't look like a match could turn into something fun. At least for a while.

I don't have any OLD stories to share but I really enjoyed reading these. Thanks for the entertainment. But in real life my now ExH was in jail for multiple DUIS when I met him. Trustees have lots of freedom. He called me evenings and weekends...he even called in his unemployment benefits (which is illegal). He didn't have an online profile but he WAS IN JAIL!

Ooh ooh pick me!!!!!

I dated a guy for a few weeks around Christmas. First date was so awesome that I let him take me home and slept with him....twice. Don't judge....I was in the 'just hook up' phase.

We kept dating and the next time we slept together he got uncontrollable giggles as soon as we were done. Awkward but whatever....until he started talking to me IN THE VOICE OF GOLLUM. Yep. From Lord of the Rings.

The next time we saw each other I invited him to a burlesque show someone close to me was performing in. It happened to be at a gay bar (I didn't know this in advance) and he stopped talking to me after that for a few weeks. In his words when I finally called his ass out on it: "I think you're more into alternative lifestyles than I am." Ok, Gollum. Whatever.

Did he keep referring to his "precious?" And, if so, to whom was it attached?

My best story thus far:

Started chatting with a very pretty woman and we had more messaging spark than anyone I have talked with to date. We had a date setup within 2 days of chatting. I'm waiting in the parking lot, I see her pull in and smile from her car. Excited, she was as pretty as her pictures.

Gets out of car, and as I say hello I hear this unbelievable high pitch chipmunk style voice say hello back. I almost sh!t my pants how high pitch her voice was. The entire dinner, it's all I could think about which was a shame. She was a sweet if not strange woman. All I could think about is what my friends would think if they were sitting there with us, my buddies would destroy me.

ADryHeat

You just made my day.

Did he keep referring to his "precious?" And, if so, to whom was it attached?

I mean....that was probably the next step. I'm being generous and not even mentioning his sexist and mysognistic comments on our final date.

I'm amazed at the number of people in this world with no self awareness. I mean, does a lightbulb not go off in a guys head that "I'm about to do the voice of gollum....this is going to freak her out and make her be like "W T F". Do people mentally choose to go down these routes anyways? LOL

funny: some guy named tooohootttt! messaged me "I'll be Burger King and you be McDonalds. I'll have it my way and you'll be loving it."

funny: Another guy asked me after a couple of messages, "Do you like strawberry jelly on your biscuits?"...cut to me googling the shit out of this trying to figure out what he meant. I found nothing, so I responded (I have no idea what possessed me to respond), "actually I like to dip my biscuit in egg yolk". He answered back, "OMG, thats HILARIOUS!" I blocked him.

scary: I messaged a guy for a week or so, then we went out to dinner. He was a little weird, but nothing red flag-ish on the phone. He just seemed a little socially awkward, maybe. So he chose a restaurant that always has a band playing, so of course it was too loud. He complained the entire time about how awful the music was and how embarrassed he was that they were so bad. After eating, he used his fork to scrape up every last morsel of food (it was melted cheese) on his plate and asked if I wasn't going to finish my drink, could he drink it? I offered to split the check (because I knew I wasn't interested), but he refused. He then asked if we could walk next door to have dessert since we couldn't talk in this place. I agreed and we went.

He was definitely socially awkward, which I actually don't mind, but we were just different. Not 30 minutes after we left he texted me that he wanted to see me again. I pretended like I was asleep and texted him the next day that I really appreciated dinner and the conversation, but that I didn't think we were a good match. He then proceeded to blow up my phone with f*ck you, you f*cking gold digging b*tch and your b*stard kid. You posted old pictures that are obviously not representative because you look old and have a flat *ss and saggy t*ts. The guy just went on and on, so I blocked him. He then went on POF and started messaging me through there with more of the same stuff. Blocked him there too.

The night of the date we had realized that we had a friend of a friend of a friend in common, so I made a call. Turns out this guy has multiple restraining orders against him from other women. I immediately deleted my POF profile! Thank GOD he does't know where I live!

[This message edited by StrongHeart at 11:48 AM, April 29th (Friday)]

"I'll be Burger King and you be McDonalds. I'll have it my way and you'll be loving it.

So funny.. It's been over 15 years since I've dated anybody beside my STBXWH so I can't remember most of them. Don't really have anything to share.

This thread is so funny but scary at the same time. I'm so not ready to date yet, reading your stories make me don't want to date at all.

Anonymousmale, that cracks me up about the self-awareness musing. I think the same thing ALL the time - like, how are you not seeing how you come across? Are you literally unaware of how mainstream society acts? I'm not saying you have to conform, but if you're on an early date, maybe have SOME idea of conventional society vs. how you're coming across?

I don't have anything from OLD for you guys but the strangest thing that ever happened to me was way back in my younger days...friends and I went out clubbing and a tall, good-looking guy approached me and...wait for it...

licked me on the cheek. From chin to cheekbone. Like a dog. A big old wet facial slurp. And then looked at me expectantly.

Who DOES that? Maybe it was Threnody's chin sucker.

Ah, memories.