SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

More mojo... please update when you can.

Sending prayers & a good positive vibe!!

Best of luck that things go great. Enjoy the beach!!

Hope all goes your way and you are back to enjoying your holiday with the kids quick.

Good luck, mblink. I think the fact that you're not there only because you're being a good dad with your kids on vacation will work in your favor.

Well it didn't go well. I have to give her $3000 dollars this month, $750 a week in August. According to my attorney, this is to get her through until she starts getting paid for her job ad the amount will come off the settlement on the back end. My goodness I hope so. I have no explanation as to why the judge settled on that number, we were hoping for $1000. Deep down I was hoping for 0, but figured I would have to supply something which is just wrong. She had the A, she moved out, she quit working. But I get to pay her.

Worst part is that I don't have $3000 setting around to pay her. I have consumed my savings and do not have funds for this and kids back to school stuff, tuition, expenses, etc. the mini vacation we are on just became a nightmare as I am looking at cost savings everywhere I can until we get home. There is no enjoyment in the rest of the week. The kids, you have to love them, knew I was devestated yesterday evening.

Wow, I am so sorry. I really didn't think it would go this way for you and I agree it's not fair. Were you at least able to get exclusive use of the house or was that never broached?

((mblink))

I asked the question of sole use last night via email. Not sure yet, hoping it was granted. Right now I am struggling to how I am going to pay her the 3k, I just don't have it. May sound strange since I am at the beach with the kids having a vacation.... Believe me it is a budget excursion and my sad attempt to keep things somewhat normal for them. I could care less about coming here but it was something we always did and I gave them my word we would go again this year when all of this broke. Now, I regret it because I could have used the money to offset the 3k.

I think we are going to leave a day early and head home it will save me money in the long run. I'll still have to pay for hotel but the expenses of dinner and activities will be saved.

Hate to see you cut your vacation short if the hotel is paid for. Any way to just picnic (grab some pb&j or sandwich stuff and just hang at the beach playing in the waves? Not sure how old your kids are, but that time together done on the cheap may mean more and cost less than going home.

I hope you win $3k on a scratch off ticket!

Well what happens if you don't pay it...because you can't? I mean, if you draft up a quick speadsheet for your L to present to the judge ( w/ income, debt, weekly expenses, and current bank statements) showing you simply don't have it...how exactly do they expect you to make money appear out of thin air?

...and if you don't pay...what would be the consequences?

can't get blood from a stone

Sue the schoolboard for what this has cost you. OM represents them. Might be a good time to blow it up

Talk to your bank about a loan.

If this is going to come off the settlement at the end, then you really are not loosing any money.

Yes....I understand the short term. I understand it looks like she is making out like a bandit. But this will come back to bite her in the butt.

You can do this.

k9

I gotta agree with Marc. I don't understand how you are now at the point of financial judgments and these two POS haven't been outted? I got away from your thread for a minute, and I guess I assumed it had been exposed since you were now in the legal process.

Your STBX is now taking money from your children. You had money you were going to spend on them (vacation), that you now have to allocate to give to her. You think she's going to spend that money on the children?

I'm sure the idea of exposure is scary, for many reasons. But at this point, she's continuing to abuse you and your children. Do something about it. Help your children, and help yourself.

ETA: of course, ask your lawyer. Does s/he have any advice on exposure as leverage?

[This message edited by Shattereddd at 11:41 AM, August 6th (Saturday)]

The word is slowly making its way around the community her extended family all know. I now have people in town asking me about it. The school board will know sometime this fall as I will ask the question about staff using their access to have sex in the buildings. Tomorrow is supposed to be move out day..... Meaning she is supposed to have her stuff out tomorrow. Lets hike this happens as well. I will have a new lock and install it tomorrow evening. No more access.

Good to hear from you again. I wish you luck in your new list.

Sure hope she moves tomorrow, as planned, and that there is no drama around it. She should be thinking of her children and be on her best behavior. Don't hesitate to change your locks. Quickly, per your plan. Look forward to some 'peace on earth' for yourself as well as the kiddos. Can't happen soon enough ! (((( ))))

Guess what! She just informed me that she cannot move her stuff tomorrow. I made an offer to my attorney, since she wants to keep access to the house and use it for furniture storage for half the month.... I should be able to pay her one half of the $3000 this month and the other half next month. Seems fair.

As of tomorrow, I'd start charging her rent...$1000/week.

Great Job nailing that down. Just know this is not over with. Once the school gets involved about the OM and as his lively hood then is questioned they will blame you and look for ways to punish you. Keep that var on you. I would also look into Video monitoring on your house. I am looking to it for my new home.

C

She just informed me that she cannot move her stuff tomorrow.

This is your out not to pay the full amount of $3,000.