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Newest Member: Samalama

Just Found Out :
My Wife with my Boss

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sadtoo ( member #2027) posted at 2:05 AM on Saturday, March 25th, 2017

So she called crying, huh? Hmm....I am always curious about the bizarre emotions that occur after the cat's out of the bag with WW's. I wonder what exactly she was crying about.

Obviously she wasn't crying because she was sorry about her behavior. And I doubt she was even crying about her AP "attempting suicide". My guess is his reason. His attempt (if it's even true) is probably because his wife tossed his ass out, and told him she was done & threatened to clean his clock in divorce court. Your WW probably just realized she's not all that.

Be prepared.

*I survived Infidelity*

posts: 8400   ·   registered: Aug. 19th, 2003   ·   location: Iowa
id 7818341
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DeWittle ( member #50857) posted at 3:17 AM on Saturday, March 25th, 2017

I would also talk to the OM's wife and let her know they are still in contact.

^^^^^^^^^^

posts: 346   ·   registered: Dec. 17th, 2015
id 7818405
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TimelessLoss ( member #55295) posted at 3:41 AM on Saturday, March 25th, 2017

"I know you have a blog - how could you reveal all of our dirty laundry?

Epic deflecting. She soiled the marriage. It's her dirty laundry. No "our" about it.

She'll find this place soon enough. Blog=Weblog=Internet=Searchable=Good Hit with the Right Search Term(s).

She'll go off on you when she does find it. Her M.O. is to attack. Then you'll know.

Practice good OpSec. Clear browser history, use anonymous browsing.

"You've got to learn to leave the table when love is no longer being served"

posts: 1649   ·   registered: Sep. 23rd, 2016
id 7818423
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TimelessLoss ( member #55295) posted at 3:58 AM on Saturday, March 25th, 2017

Lawman, I've sent you a PM.

"You've got to learn to leave the table when love is no longer being served"

posts: 1649   ·   registered: Sep. 23rd, 2016
id 7818433
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MariaS ( new member #54903) posted at 10:08 AM on Saturday, March 25th, 2017

Her ability to blame and manipulate never ceases. Her OM knew he was married, knew he had children and yet still mafe the conscious decision to have an affair with your wife. In what universe are the consequences of this your fault!!

If his wife finding out about his infidelity has had such an impact, to the point he contemplated suicide, it's a pity he didn't think first.

I agree that you should inform the OBS abouyt the continued contact between them.

I also think your wife should realise (if true), that in essence, an affair with her, has driven him to attempt suicide. If their love was so special and precious, why would he want to leave her and end his life.

posts: 13   ·   registered: Aug. 29th, 2016   ·   location: Spain
id 7818506
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Feather0413 ( member #57087) posted at 12:17 PM on Saturday, March 25th, 2017

BS Only

[This message edited by SI Staff at 4:05 PM, June 20th (Tuesday)]

posts: 60   ·   registered: Jan. 24th, 2017
id 7818537
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M1965 ( member #57009) posted at 2:44 PM on Saturday, March 25th, 2017

“Obviously she wasn't crying because she was sorry about her behavior. And I doubt she was even crying about her AP "attempting suicide". My guess is his reason. His attempt (if it's even true) is probably because his wife tossed his ass out, and told him she was done & threatened to clean his clock in divorce court. Your WW probably just realized she's not all that.”

Perhaps another reason for the crying is that the exposure has effectively ended the affair, and the WW is not happy about it. Lawman’s exposure, which is always recommended in this forum, has burst the fantasy bubble that the two APs created for themselves.

Moreover, the bubble bursting throws sharp focus on where the OM’s admittedly compromised loyalties lie. He could have packed a case and fled his marital home at the same time that Lawman’s WW did. Did he do that? No, he didn't. Quite revealing, isn't it?

His reaction to being busted at home following Lawman enlightening the OBS was not to declare, “The marriage is over. I’m sorry, but I’ve found someone else. I’m leaving you and the kids for this wonderful new woman”. His reaction, supposedly, was attempted suicide. Why? Because the things he really holds dear (in his sleazy way) are under threat. If it comes to it, Lawman’s WW will be tossed under the proverbial bus, and maybe that reality is intruding on the WW’s perception of her importance to the OM. And where does that leave her in all this? By abandoning her own home and marriage, she has marooned herself in a Twilight Zone between two domestic disasters. Is it any wonder she verges on the hysterical?

She appears to have hitched her wagon to a completely dud star, perhaps dreaming that she and the OM would flee and set up home together somewhere. The reality is likely to be much less rosy for her. Where does she go from here? She has painted herself into a corner, and is blaming everyone but herself.

[This message edited by M1965 at 8:46 AM, March 25th (Saturday)]

posts: 1277   ·   registered: Jan. 21st, 2017   ·   location: South East of England
id 7818606
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Freeme ( member #31946) posted at 3:13 PM on Saturday, March 25th, 2017

I agree with what M1965 said above. My guess is that he has been telling her how horrible he feels for his wifes pain... which translates to ... You and I were a mistake - leave me alone.

posts: 2807   ·   registered: Apr. 21st, 2011   ·   location: Washington DC
id 7818628
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MariaS ( new member #54903) posted at 3:46 PM on Saturday, March 25th, 2017

Yes. I suspect he's told she was the biggest mistake of his life and he regrets every minute of it. That's regret and not remorse. If he had remorse, he would have ended it when you found out.

Dos he ever approach you to apologise?

All you got was him getting your WW, to persuade and begging you not to go to HR.

From an earlier post, he knew his wife wouldn't be accommodating or forgiving of it. That's when your WW, said you lived her too much to divorce her, even if you found out.

She's not the best of role models for your DDs.

posts: 13   ·   registered: Aug. 29th, 2016   ·   location: Spain
id 7818649
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Bigger ( Attaché #8354) posted at 10:41 AM on Monday, March 27th, 2017

Lawman;

Good to know she‘s not reading here.

Several points:

Don’t make her not picking up DD an issue per se.

No matter what then YOU always be in place for DD and 16DD. You can send your WW an email asking her if she will pick up DD or see to 16DD or whatever, but if she doesn’t respond then YOU simply find a solution. A reliable-as-clockwork solution. That might be talking to the babysitter about longer hours, might be changing your schedule, might be working from home, might be flying in your aunt Edna to house- and babysit for a couple of weeks… Whatever. Don’t look at cost because this is a temporary thing.

YOU be the rock the family needs.

-------

State facts and allow others to draw conclusions…

Like don’t say they are having a physical affair but simply state what you clearly know:

You have seen texts and messages that describe sexual actions as if they had taken place.

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If OM and WW were “the item” then why would he attempt suicide? After all, if it was meant to be then why wouldn’t he welcome the chance to start a new life with her? Simple: He is doing what 9 out of 10 OM do – dumping your wife and trying to save his marriage. Being dumped is probably the biggest wake-up call a wayward wife can get. You can expect her tone to change but frankly – it’s your call if this is a marriage you want to save or not.

"If, therefore, any be unhappy, let him remember that he is unhappy by reason of himself alone." Epictetus

posts: 13120   ·   registered: Sep. 29th, 2005
id 7819890
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Sharkman ( member #56818) posted at 11:17 AM on Monday, March 27th, 2017

Lawman-

Remain in touch with her boyfriend's wife. This isn't over yet.

posts: 1788   ·   registered: Jan. 11th, 2017
id 7819899
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sensibletinch ( member #45491) posted at 11:52 AM on Tuesday, March 28th, 2017

Lawman, the poster case for "nothing physical happened" is that of NotPerfect5. His main threads are listed in his profile page: https://www.survivinginfidelity.com/profiles.asp?UserID=43330&Show=1

posts: 151   ·   registered: Nov. 4th, 2014   ·   location: Canada
id 7820892
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Drumstick ( member #55013) posted at 8:03 AM on Monday, April 17th, 2017

Any update, Lawman?

Facts are stubborn things; and whatever may be our wishes, our inclinations, or the dictates of our passion, they cannot alter the state of facts and evidence - John Adams

posts: 496   ·   registered: Sep. 6th, 2016
id 7838281
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