SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

Confused

I once liked a ALL women. I haven't questioned anything. I still love women. I can give you a long list of women who influenced me both spirtually as well as in many other terms. Yet, today the I will call out women on there bullshit.And yes there are many.

I can't tell if this thread is still discussing the origin of things, but I did read the post that seems to be generating your reaction. I can sum up the whole situation in one sentence:

Redbaron said that real men don't reconcile, only effete pansies examine the socioemotional reasons and morals for adultery, and his difficulties with the moderators would vanish if he just preceded his statement with the phrase "In my opinion..."

Most of the other blowback you're receiving is due to being unable to disagree whilst delivering a civil conversation, particularly with members of the opposite sex.

Hope it helps. c):)

No I was not betrayed by men but wonen and the above researches explain why and howm there are many more

And if I want to believe in alien abduction, I can find a lot of books and data to support it. That doesn't mean it's accurate (or inaccurate) either. It just means that someone out there who really, really believed it wrote a book about it and backed it up with cherry picked data. Pretty much the way you're backing yourself up.

Clearly you want to be mad and you want to be mad at women. You've pretty much proven the point I was making and solidified why I don't bother posting on your threads. If you need someone to blame for all your woes and women are your focus, have at it. There is no doubt that you can find a bunch of crap written by people who also blame women for all their woes to support your theories. It doesn't change a single thing in my life.

We're all born. We all die. If we are fortunate, we're born into a country where the majority of us aren't starving to death or fighting for clean water. Blame who you want for the horror you live in. Keep on reading books about why women are the reason for all your problems. That should effectively shield you from ever actually having to take responsibility for your own misery or make any effort to actually make things better for yourself or anyone else.

I am happy to hand this thread, and any other you start, back to you. I wish you peace, though I sadly doubt you'll find it.

They almost were never the instigators but the intended targets

Of course, they were too damsels in distress exactly as the women who hit their husbands they never instigate it because women are all good, they never cheat, it's only because the husband is responsible for this and the queens never instigated wars.

Well, if you have other data bring it. I have no problem to refute it. Yet, in the same way I know you haven't read anything because those queens were not attacked but were the attackers. But yeah all men are evil and women have no responsibility for their actions. The typical victim mentality.

Well, in a few minutes you have read a book and a research and labeled them as science fiction or whatever. This says everything about you, your arguments and your methods which resonate with pseudo and dismal science and have zero reflection on this research itself

[This message edited by MrSpock at 6:19 PM, April 17th (Monday)]

But yeah all men are evil and women have no responsibility for their actions.

You are the only person who has said this or anything like it. I picture you with your fingers in your ears yelling "I know you are but what am I?" Truly your argument has no hands or feet.

Few men or women are evil (though some of each gender are) and all people have responsibility for their own actions though some choose not to take it.

[This message edited by Tearsoflove at 6:22 PM, April 17th (Monday)]

Spock,

I urge you to consider what I'm about to say. I don't know you, and I can easily be wrong, but I'd bet a lot that you have got yourself deep into Victimhood because of your gender (you really need to understand the Drama Triangle)

Again, I could be wrong - but I urge you to discuss this with your IC. I urge you to print off some of your longer posts and some of the responses from tears, confused, SMS, and me. Ask your IC and perhaps other people you go to for advice to read the exchanges and see how they react.

I don't mean to offend, but I think tears, confused, SMS, and I see you more clearly than you see yourself, and you need to see yourself as clearly as possible to heal and thrive.

Also, I find your posts to be really hard to follow, perhaps because you leave out important parts of your thinking. Check with your IC and friends for other opinions.

Again, when citing statistics, please list author, document, and page or link to a specific spot in a web-accessible document.

Thanks.

Spock,

What is it you hope to do with this thread? Of course there's a double standard, you've given multiple examples. Life is not fair, especially if you're a man. God forbid if you're a white man. How is getting yourself all worked up here helping your situation?

You eat a humiliating shit sandwich in reconciliation.

You eat a humiliating shit sandwich in divorce.

You feel financially ruined and taken advantage of when you divorce and have to give your W half your salary.

You feel financially ruined and taken advantage of when your H tries to keep every dollar from you after you gave up your career to care for him and his children.

You feel screwed when you don't see your kids on a holiday.

You feel screwed when you are in pain and triggering during your reconciliation so that you can see your kids every holiday.

You feel tortured in the marriage.

You feel tortured out of the marriage.

It seems like women just use men.

It seems like men just use women.

All of it is true,

and none of it is true.

There is a lot of pain in this thread, in all the threads on SI. I think that trying to place blame is a part of working through the grief--the hurt, injustice, loss. No matter which decision someone makes--R or D--there is loss. Every single person here is suffering equally, men and women.

I haven't read any other threads (don't know who the red Barron is; Snoopy comes to mind ), and I have no idea why you are making a general rant about some other general rant. I also haven't read any of your other threads, so I have no beef one way or the other.

With that in mind, here are my observations / opinions:

--If you disagree with another poster, don't start a separate post that others (ok, me) can't understand. Instead, disagree with them on that thread.

--If you don't agree with someone's advice, then don't take it. Take what works and leave the rest.

--If you repeatedly find yourself upset at another poster, then don't read their posts. Each time you see something written by SpikeyBitchBoots (trying on my new name ) just skip on by and read the next one.

--I can barely follow most of your posts in this thread; you aren't making much sense to me. At times you seem all over the place and it comes across as disjointed.

--At times you confuse facts with opinions, yet accuse others of confusing facts with opinions.

This in turn comes across as projection - accusing others of what you yourself are doing.

Dude, I am sorry that your wife cheated on you and you are clearly hurting right now. But please don't let that hurt and anger turn into projection and lashing out at others with vague generalities. Then instead of wanting to help you, other posters will just want to add your name to that of SpikeyBitchBoots' and skip on by your posts.

[This message edited by hpv50 at 6:43 PM, April 17th (Monday)]

Once again, I am reminded of how very fortunate I am with my counselors. Woof. What a load of garbage.

Actually it's pretty standard mating patterns for all species of mammals.

Lol @ this thread. Oh you didn't read this obscure thesis that supports my insane tangent, making me the victor of this one-sided argument.

I just spent a ridiculous amount of time looking for the quote thread so I could immortalize you, Mouthkeptshut. But I cannot find it.

Oh you didn't read this obscure thesis that supports my insane tangent, making me the victor of this one-sided argument.

That's gold. You, sir, have won the internet for me, today.

It's true Mr. Spock that women were more valued because of their wombs BUT they are also de-valued for it...viewed by many men as being ONLY valuable as baby producers, and having little to no value otherwise. That's why women make less money on average for doing the same work, and why there are fewer women in leadership positions.

That's why women make less money on average for doing the same work, and why there are fewer women in leadership positions.

That myth has been pretty well debunked. The wage gap isn't calculated on men and women doing the same job, is based on gender alone.

You can't even maintain a decent discussion without cursing.

Oh my dear MrSpock, you know me! I love to say the word "fuck". Like, fuckity fuck fuck! I just fucking love to say fuck. It is such a fucking good word. I always feel it adds so much to many discussions. Fuck yeah!

Which is a reflection of your deficiencies and inabilities not mines.

Maybe. Since you love research and studies so much, research and studies have shown that people who use swear words/cuss are, generally, more creative and intelligent. I will admit to many deficiencies and inabilities. I am far from fucking perfect. However, although I do have some imperfections, having fucked around on my FWH isn't one of them. I would think that many men would be grateful for a wife who likes to say "fuck" as opposed to actually going out and fucking OM. That is just the kind of fucking woman I am. I will not be shamed for the way I talk. (post, write, *shrug*, whatevs)

Profanity is more necessary to me than is immunity from colds.

- Letter to Orion Clemens, 14 May 1877 from Samuel Clemens aka Mark Twain

This probably isn't one of the fucking posts by me that my good friend sisoon is referring to.

P.S. Please don't mistake this post as me being angry. I am not. I actually feel sorry for you, MrSpock, as you seem not very happy. I really do wish you peace and serenity. As I do all my fellow travelers on these heartbreaking paths that we have been forced to travel.

[This message edited by SisterMilkshake at 8:04 PM, April 17th (Monday)]

This is the most amusing thread I've read in some time. It screams first world problems. And this coming from a betrayed spouse waiting on her STD results. Some times you just gotta laugh and say, "Screw it."

Yeah, I was gonna say FUCK IT but I'll let my Sister Milkshake own that in this thread. Say it loud and proud, SMS!!!!

[This message edited by TurnOtherCheek at 8:03 PM, April 17th (Monday)]

I rarely agree with SMS.

But...

Did I miss a meeting where there was a hand over of power? Where not only did women become equal on all fronts BUT surpass men in power, influence AND money.

If so, can one of "now in power" ladies tell me where the next one is? I was late because I couldn't find the right pair of shoes to wear with my new power suit.

Well, I for one like women. They are far better to cuddle with and watch Netflix with. Or not watch Netflix with.

SMS, I fucking adore you. I needed that. I laughed so fucking hard!