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The next time one of those works wil be the first

That's what I thought. It's just that divorce would make it pretty damn difficult for me to stick around for the kids. If I don't stick around, I would effectively remove myself from my kids' life and that weighs quite a bit

But I have a solid bad gut feeling today. She seems too positive and that tickles my spidey senses.

[This message edited by BusterMcBust at 9:41 AM, May 27th (Saturday)]

that's why detachment exercises like 180 are great. You're not left wondering what every action of hers means.

The truth is it kind of doesn't matter right now

Shit! I know I shouldn't make rushed decisions, but right now my gut tells me she is not respecting the NC. I will ask her and hopefully can read her well enough to spot a possible lie. If she lies, I think I will move out at least temporarily.

Need to figure out what to tell the kids if I move out.

[This message edited by BusterMcBust at 12:19 PM, May 27th (Saturday)]

Why would you move out? You've done nothing wrong. Ask her to do so.

Before you would do that, please talk to a lawyer. Yo do not want to give her the upper hand if it comes to D.

What do you mean "she's too positive"? In what respect?

Why does your gut tell you she's broken NC?

I was out of town yesterday and today she has been oddly upbeat and happy. I think she met the OM yesterday. She also seems to be guarding her phone again.

[This message edited by BusterMcBust at 12:46 PM, May 27th (Saturday)]

Ask her for the phone, if she says no, that's your answer. If she did, bag her stuff and take her to his place. Sorry brother

Hey man, listen to 5454real. Don't move out! Big mistake. See a lawyer. Learn the law. Educate yourself and stay one step ahead of her.

Ask for the phone. Simply. Politely. May I have your phone? Her answer will tell you everything you need to know.

Next, install one of those apps that let's parents track their kids. I did this for a while with my wife. It will show you her location (or, at least the phone) and all calls and texts. You can even do this without her knowing about it.

Sorry, man. I know this sucks but you've got to prepare for the end. Always be prepared, you know?

[This message edited by Unhinged at 2:03 PM, May 27th, 2017 (Saturday)]

If what you say is true she is the worst kind of a cheat. I think this is a LTA. She lulled you in to complacence Now start all tracking things VAR, Phone even a PI. I think you can trace where her phone was (I think someone can confirm this) Ask the experts here. If your phone and hers are on the same account you can see where her phone is (again ask others). To get at her phone probably you know where the phone is when she sleeps.

As a way of keeping your mind off this s'it and even feel a sense of accomplishment put more effort/hours on the job. You need to act like you are going to end it if you want to save (for whatever reason)M.

act normal until you get info

[This message edited by goalong at 3:15 PM, May 27th (Saturday)]

Nothing on the phone and no protest when I asked to see the phone. Will keep cool and keep an eye on everything.

Feeling paranoid sucks.

You could ask for polygraph.

And did you expose the OM to his wife or not?

That's two things you can do that can clear up things for you some, instead of living with the paranoia.

Spend more time on job - a way to keep your mind off this things and also to have a sense of accomplishment

Did you ask directly whether she het POS.

If it is a LTS POS left the job if it became too hot. You can asked around.

Hope nothing to worry about and this is your suspicious mind in play

Did ask if she has been in contact over email, phone or face-to-face with OM. No was the answer.

Now things seem like there is no contact. Tomorrow might be different...

It's just that divorce would make it pretty damn difficult for me to stick around for the kids. If I don't stick around, I would effectively remove myself from my kids' life and that weighs quite a bit.

What are saying here? Do you mean to say that if you got D'd that you wouldn't see your kids anymore?

Also, have you informed the OBS yet? I cannot impress upon you how important this is.

Don't hesitate to ask your WW questions. How she answers and what she says can be very important. Let her know what you suspected and that rebuilding trust is going to take a long, long time.

[This message edited by Unhinged at 6:12 PM, May 28th (Sunday)]

What are saying here? Do you mean to say that if you got D'd that you wouldn't see your kids anymore?]

It would just be quite challenging to make any meetings happen. I would still see the kids, but nowhere as often as I would like to.

I keep being the naive self that I am with her. If that's not what she wants, she'll boot me out or packs her bags and goes wherever she wants.

Oh man. Today my mind is wandering in very dark places. I think the initial shock might be wearing off and giving way to more and more negative thoughts.

You are entering the anger stage. What is important to remember during the anger stage:

1. Use the anger to propel you to take action (poly, demanding timeline, etc)

2. 180.

3. Remember she is the mother of your children and no matter how rotten she is you need to treat her as any man should treat any woman. Because she "broke bad" does not mean that you need to follow suit

Thanks for reminders Sharkman

I have been pretty mean to her on occasion since D-day. It doesn't make me feel better, quite the opposite actually, but also keeping it inside doesn't seem like a good option.

I got the timeline, I got more info than I cared to know.

Oh oh. What new?