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ItsNotMe ( member #51113) posted at 2:28 AM on Friday, June 23rd, 2017
Good luck tonight. I know it isn't going to be easy, but its not really like you have a real choice.
Hang in there!
dostl10 (original poster member #58597) posted at 1:24 PM on Friday, June 23rd, 2017
Well we told the kids. 4 year old DS couldn't even care. Lol. 6 year old DD was ok as well. I think because it's how it's been for the last 3 months anyway. The only thing now is WW has her own apt. which means they get to spend more time and more nights with her.
ItsNotMe ( member #51113) posted at 3:14 PM on Friday, June 23rd, 2017
I'm glad it went well for you. You never know how kids are going to react.
ff4152 ( member #55404) posted at 3:04 AM on Saturday, June 24th, 2017
dos
How are you holding up?
dostl10 (original poster member #58597) posted at 1:29 PM on Saturday, June 24th, 2017
I am holding up ok. Many better times than not right now. Just little things are getting to me. Like taking pictures down and that kind of stuff
goalong ( member #57352) posted at 2:30 PM on Saturday, June 24th, 2017
Is she still interested in reconciliation? One thing that can be done to keep mind busy in a constructive way is to start a project foe example professional development
dostl10 (original poster member #58597) posted at 2:37 PM on Saturday, June 24th, 2017
Things have been odd. On one hand we are communicating a lot more. Initiated by her, not about the affair, although if I were to bring it up, she would talk about it. I find myself being friendly with her or polite, because I just don't have the energy to be anything else anymore and it's just not worth my time to be mad or pissed off.
She texts me every morning right now just to day hello. I am honestly not interested in R right now. I honestly care about her but not in a,way where,i could make myself vulnerable to her again.
Who knows where life will lead us. She is moving to her own place, we are carrying on with D which we have been working through together. I got asked out on a date the other day. Kids are doing well. We are about to go on a 10 day trip.
goalong ( member #57352) posted at 2:56 PM on Saturday, June 24th, 2017
Taking a break and being with your parents will enable you to further clear you mind and thought process. Looks like WW is not a schemer as she cooperates with you on your plans. may be she is feeling remorse/regret though she is not showing it to you. Hope she is completely detoxed from the POS. Unlike men when women stray they go completely berserk just by listening to the sweet talk of the POSES
longsadstory1952 ( member #29048) posted at 4:51 PM on Sunday, June 25th, 2017
She obviously does not want to lose everything you have built together. From your posts, it looks like you were the one putting in most of the work. Hard for her not to give that up. So, despite the sweet talk, I'm guessing she is still working with om. If so, there is no real chance of R.
She is behaving better than most guys get, so if you are really intent on D, get it done before she turns on you. I fear that is inevitable once reality sinks in.
Did you ever tell her that you forgave her? Maybe that's why she is being all sweetness and light.
dostl10 (original poster member #58597) posted at 6:40 PM on Monday, June 26th, 2017
So we are all agreed on everything and the lawyer is drawing up settlement papers. I don't know whether to be happy, sad, or just everything all at once.
It's been such a horrible few months.
harrybrown ( member #59225) posted at 6:48 PM on Monday, June 26th, 2017
hope you do find some peace.
after the D is final, then when you are ready, go ahead and accept the date request.
Curious9 ( member #48433) posted at 6:58 PM on Monday, June 26th, 2017
Let me tell you nothing is worse than fighting through a divorce after this. If you both worked it out so you both agree on things call it a blessing in disguise. I know its hard to end something you didn't want to but as time goes on it will be easier to see you did the right thing. You cant fix her and you cant help her. She is the only person that can work on her own issues to make herself a safe partner for someone. The fact she wasn't willing to do everything to make this work should show you just where her love for you was and is at. Sure there is fog but even people in the fog know they are losing.
Be proud that you stood up for yourself.
C
Sybo ( member #46689) posted at 8:09 PM on Monday, June 26th, 2017
So we are all agreed on everything and the lawyer is drawing up settlement papers
This is a significant silver lining...a "clean" (legal) getaway is like a unicorn. Add into the mix that you can be proud that you handled this like a champ.
better days await brother
DDAY Feb 2015
Divorce finalized 4/4/16
Update: EX gave Nail Boy the boot 3/18 - Fairy tales don't last apparantly
My new zipcode is ZERO FUCKS GIVEN. It's a great town.
SuperDaddy1027 ( member #59344) posted at 2:35 AM on Tuesday, June 27th, 2017
[This message edited by SuperDaddy1027 at 8:36 PM, June 26th (Monday)]
SuperDaddy1027 ( member #59344) posted at 2:37 AM on Tuesday, June 27th, 2017
Let me tell you nothing is worse than fighting through a divorce after this. If you both worked it out so you both agree on things call it a blessing in disguise. I know its hard to end something you didn't want to but as time goes on it will be easier to see you did the right thing. You cant fix her and you cant help her. She is the only person that can work on her own issues to make herself a safe partner for someone. The fact she wasn't willing to do everything to make this work should show you just where her love for you was and is at. Sure there is fog but even people in the fog know they are losing.
Be proud that you stood up for yourself.
C
^^^^^^^THIS X100000000!! Great response and outlook on everything!
rambler ( member #43747) posted at 3:21 AM on Tuesday, June 27th, 2017
As I recall, OM was not going to contact her until after her D.
She is not fighting too hard regarding her marriage.
You will have your moments but in the end you will be fine.
sillyoldsod ( member #43649) posted at 9:43 AM on Tuesday, June 27th, 2017
So we are all agreed on everything and the lawyer is drawing up settlement papers. I don't know whether to be happy, sad, or just everything all at once.
Let me tell you nothing is worse than fighting through a divorce after this. If you both worked it out so you both agree on things call it a blessing in disguise. I know its hard to end something you didn't want to but as time goes on it will be easier to see you did the right thing. You cant fix her and you cant help her. She is the only person that can work on her own issues to make herself a safe partner for someone. The fact she wasn't willing to do everything to make this work should show you just where her love for you was and is at. Sure there is fog but even people in the fog know they are losing.
^^^ This
You will feel every emotion as the divorce process progresses but believe me in the years to come this will save so much potential bitterness towards your stbx. As Curious9 states, it really is a 'blessing in disguise'. I speak from personal experience.
I hope it all goes smoothly for you dost110.
[This message edited by sillyoldsod at 3:44 AM, June 27th (Tuesday)]
I've never met a sociopath I didn't like.
ff4152 ( member #55404) posted at 1:01 PM on Saturday, July 1st, 2017
dost
How are things going? I hope you are doing ok.
dostl10 (original poster member #58597) posted at 1:17 PM on Saturday, July 1st, 2017
Getting there. We agreed on everything and settlement is being drawn up. I get a text every morning from her say good morning hope you have a good day. She found her own place and is moving in this week while DD and DS and I are on vacation. She keeps asking me if I need help with things around the house and stuff like that.
She has opened up in terms of admitting her actions were selfish and that I am not to blame for anything. It's all on her. This though is obviously after continuing the affair after dday and blame shifting and justifying it all for months.
ff4152 ( member #55404) posted at 5:56 PM on Saturday, July 1st, 2017
I'm very glad to hear you're doing as well as can be expected.
Have you given any thought to what you'll do once the D is final? Have you thought of trying again with your WW at some point in the future provided she works on herself or has that ship sailed?
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