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Stevesn ( member #58312) posted at 3:45 PM on Monday, July 10th, 2017
Why are they always so clueless?
She needs deep analysis for all she has done.
fBBF. Just before proposing, broke it off after her 2nd confirmed PA in 2 yrs. 9 mo later I met the wonderful woman I have spent the next 30 years with.
Stevesn ( member #58312) posted at 3:48 PM on Monday, July 10th, 2017
BTW if she's not willing to tell the DDs you can do that on your own.
fBBF. Just before proposing, broke it off after her 2nd confirmed PA in 2 yrs. 9 mo later I met the wonderful woman I have spent the next 30 years with.
HellFire ( member #59305) posted at 4:08 PM on Monday, July 10th, 2017
No, OM will not use his vacation to come clean with his wife. He will use this time to tell her you're crazy and dangerous. That you're accusing random male co-workers of your wife,of having an affair with her. That you're violent and unstable. He will probably provide his wife with the phone number of the wrongly named man, so she can speak to his wife,and know you're unhinged.
When exposing,you never tell your WS. They always warm their AP. Then messages get intercepted, and you're made out to be crazy.
But you are what you did
And I'll forget you, but I'll never forgive
The smallest man who ever lived..
NotYetConvinced (original poster member #59398) posted at 4:15 PM on Monday, July 10th, 2017
Hellfire,
I didn't tell her that I was going to contact OMS2, but I guess she figured it out once I had confronted her about lying about OM1. I have very clear evidence of their cheating, so so long as I can reach her I'm not too concerned. How far is taking it to far to expose OM2? I know OMS2's work address but don't want to feel like a stalker waiting for her there. Maybe a hand written letter to her office with photo evidence? It would be hard for him to intercept/refute.
Me(40); WW(36); DDs (6 + 3, special needs); Together 15
D-Day: 5/17, my 40th b-day
OM1: PA in '13 (discovered by text to OM2 apologizing for lying about which COW was OM1).
OM2: PA/EA for last +1.5 years
Fought for R, but her heart has moved on.
Jduff ( member #41988) posted at 4:56 PM on Monday, July 10th, 2017
Yes, a letter with evidence in a sealed large envelope addressed specifically to her and labeled confidential. Leave it with the receptionist between 11am and 1pm so that OMS2 can get it around lunch and have time to open the package, read the material, react to it and process it. Make sure to leave your contact information if she needs to follow up with questions.
The grass is always greener.... where the dogs are shitting.
-Soundgarden
NotYetConvinced (original poster member #59398) posted at 6:10 PM on Monday, July 10th, 2017
Just got a text from my WW. She said that OMS contacted her to say that OMS2 wants me to stop trying to contact her. Got the emails, got the voicemail at work, got the Facebook friend request. I told her to have OMS2 reach out to me to prove that OMS isn't lying and intercepted it all. I guess the letter is the only way to go at this point?
Me(40); WW(36); DDs (6 + 3, special needs); Together 15
D-Day: 5/17, my 40th b-day
OM1: PA in '13 (discovered by text to OM2 apologizing for lying about which COW was OM1).
OM2: PA/EA for last +1.5 years
Fought for R, but her heart has moved on.
trustedg ( member #44465) posted at 6:18 PM on Monday, July 10th, 2017
Now you know she is not capable of telling the truth. Keep moving forward with your life, the divorce, she has shown you she is not interested in marriage.
Me BWHim WH DDay 12/2012Married a long time, in R
learning9433 ( member #58701) posted at 6:21 PM on Monday, July 10th, 2017
yes..send letter to her work and also a copy of that text so she can see the games they r playing...
they are now trying to stop you from contacting his BS..
sassylee ( member #45766) posted at 6:24 PM on Monday, July 10th, 2017
They are so transparent aren't they?
My R(eformed)WH had a 5 month EA in 2012
In my 7th year of R
“LOVE is a commitment, not an emotion. It is a conscious act of a covenant of unconditional love. It is a mindset and a thought process.” - BigHeart2018’s Professor
learning9433 ( member #58701) posted at 6:41 PM on Monday, July 10th, 2017
Yes...as if his BS would call her asking for a favor...just smh
He has obviously been able to intercept everything so far...must go to her work at this point..he is going to be highly ticked at your WW if she can't stop you from telling
Stevesn ( member #58312) posted at 6:55 PM on Monday, July 10th, 2017
Yes you're willing to talk to her at any time.
And you need a way to verify she is who she says she is.
Jeez. It's getting crazy with them.
[This message edited by Stevesn at 1:36 PM, July 10th (Monday)]
fBBF. Just before proposing, broke it off after her 2nd confirmed PA in 2 yrs. 9 mo later I met the wonderful woman I have spent the next 30 years with.
NotYetConvinced (original poster member #59398) posted at 8:35 PM on Monday, July 10th, 2017
My WW texted to say that OM2 was going to call me in order to make sure that I stop harassing his wife. To be clear, he intercepted the first attempt to reach out to her, which was through Facebook messenger. I also tried to friend her on Facebook. I called her work number and left a voicemail. I emailed her work email from three accounts, in case my WW had given OM2 my email addresses and OM2 could block communication from them. I do feel like it may seem extreme, but it was basically a blitz to ensure that something got through.
He did call, like five times, but I was unprepared to talk to him and I did not answer. I followed up with WW to say that OM2 should stop harassing me.
Me(40); WW(36); DDs (6 + 3, special needs); Together 15
D-Day: 5/17, my 40th b-day
OM1: PA in '13 (discovered by text to OM2 apologizing for lying about which COW was OM1).
OM2: PA/EA for last +1.5 years
Fought for R, but her heart has moved on.
CincyKid ( member #57948) posted at 8:36 PM on Monday, July 10th, 2017
What's up with your WW? She's protecting AP's and putting them over you? Have you pointed that out to her? What's her response?
Betrayed, life over...
Life goes on...
Met sunshine girl, fell in love...
Reconnected with wonderful DD...
Married sunshine girl, happy as can be!!!
Sharkman ( member #56818) posted at 8:43 PM on Monday, July 10th, 2017
Tell her tonight that you think that you have been blocked by him. Ask her to send the wife an email from her account admitting the affair. Watch her response to you very carefully.
This will tell you if it's even worth trying to reconcile. If she refuses (or stalls to alert her boyfriend) then you have your answer.
NotYetConvinced (original poster member #59398) posted at 8:43 PM on Monday, July 10th, 2017
Cincy,
Yes I have pointed this out to her. She says she doesn't want to out OM1 because doesn't want to cause any more pain. It is unclear why she made up who OM1 was in the first place, especially because she could have caused a lot of pain to the guy she falsely implicated. She clearly is defensive about the identity of OM1, as she also originally lied to OM2 about it.
In the current situation, she says she's not taking their side "it's just that I'm the one trying to contact" OMS2. Anyway, I told her to stay out of it.
Sharkman,
I have provided her the divorce papers electronically, but she has yet to review it. I will give her a paper copy tonight. We will be telling our kids tonight about the D. I think she will sleep on the couch for tonight and leave to her parents for the rest of the week. I will move this weekend and we can start our lives apart.
[This message edited by NotYetConvinced at 2:57 PM, July 10th (Monday)]
Me(40); WW(36); DDs (6 + 3, special needs); Together 15
D-Day: 5/17, my 40th b-day
OM1: PA in '13 (discovered by text to OM2 apologizing for lying about which COW was OM1).
OM2: PA/EA for last +1.5 years
Fought for R, but her heart has moved on.
anoka ( member #57873) posted at 10:30 PM on Monday, July 10th, 2017
I have provided her the divorce papers electronically, but she has yet to review it. I will give her a paper copy tonight. We will be telling our kids tonight about the D. I think she will sleep on the couch for tonight and leave to her parents for the rest of the week. I will move this weekend and we can start our lives apart.
Congratulations for taking control of your life and happiness. You still have some tough times to go through as you detach from her but it's worth all of it. I envy you...
NotYetConvinced (original poster member #59398) posted at 12:57 AM on Tuesday, July 11th, 2017
Just told DDs about the divorce. The oldest took it like a champ. I can't believe all of the pain I endured trying to R and that I was willing to potentially live being miserable with WW for a long time for thier sakes. Onwards and upwards.
[This message edited by NotYetConvinced at 7:00 PM, July 10th (Monday)]
Me(40); WW(36); DDs (6 + 3, special needs); Together 15
D-Day: 5/17, my 40th b-day
OM1: PA in '13 (discovered by text to OM2 apologizing for lying about which COW was OM1).
OM2: PA/EA for last +1.5 years
Fought for R, but her heart has moved on.
Stevesn ( member #58312) posted at 3:07 AM on Tuesday, July 11th, 2017
What WW say to them about it?
fBBF. Just before proposing, broke it off after her 2nd confirmed PA in 2 yrs. 9 mo later I met the wonderful woman I have spent the next 30 years with.
NotYetConvinced (original poster member #59398) posted at 5:28 AM on Tuesday, July 11th, 2017
We chose the route of no blame, just that mommy are daddy are fighting and would be better living in separate houses. The truth will come out one day, especially if I ever feel like my DDs blame me for the D.
[This message edited by NotYetConvinced at 11:29 PM, July 10th (Monday)]
Me(40); WW(36); DDs (6 + 3, special needs); Together 15
D-Day: 5/17, my 40th b-day
OM1: PA in '13 (discovered by text to OM2 apologizing for lying about which COW was OM1).
OM2: PA/EA for last +1.5 years
Fought for R, but her heart has moved on.
sudra ( member #30143) posted at 4:19 PM on Tuesday, July 11th, 2017
She says she doesn't want to out OM1 because doesn't want to cause any more pain. It is unclear why she made up who OM1 was in the first place, especially because she could have caused a lot of pain to the guy she falsely implicated. She clearly is defensive about the identity of OM1, as she also originally lied to OM2 about it.
I'm guessing it's someone you know, maybe a friend or relative. Unfortunately it happens.
Me (BW) (5\64), Him(SAWH) (68)Married 31 years, 1 son (28), 1 stepdaughter (36) DDay #1 January 2004DDay #2 7-27-2010 7 month EA/PA (became "engaged" to OW before he told me he wanted a divorce)Working on R
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