SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

Me and my girlfriend been together for over 9 years, a couple of days ago, she dropped a bomb shell on me saying she’s been cheating on me with my best friend, my heart sunk, I was heart broken to be hearing this. We met in 2008 till now we still together in 2017. The affair started in 2012 when we met, till 2017 which is over 5 years. I don’t know what to think or to say to her she’s confessed everything to me about the affair such as time, places, when and where like on my birthday or her my house or hers, I asked why she’s doing this to me and what did I do to her to treat me that way, as I have been a loving caring boyfriend always supported her, and she lives with me in my house, no kids, she tells me its all her fault, she didn’t intend to hurt me in any way she’s says she’s remorseful and she couldn’t go on with the lies anymore and it was just sex with him, it didn’t mean anything I can’t tell u guys how I’m feeling right now as I have not drank or ate in 3 days. They even went so far as to involve both my SISTER and MOTHER into aiding them in hiding this 5 year affair with my girlfriend. We have been together for 9 years

[This message edited by Thehatedone at 8:07 AM, August 28th (Monday)]

Dude. I am so sorry f you are here and what your are dealing with right now. I have been through it as well... I wasn't married to my cheater. Seriously, the best thing you can do for YOU right now is ask her to pack her stiff and leave. I don't think you can make her leave, but if you ask and she leaves that would be best. It's gonna hurt no matter what, but you need to get away from this person. Please drink some water and eat something, soup, cereal, ANYTHING. You are going to have force yourself, but you have to put something in your system soon to stay coherent. So sorry man. It's a gut punch. Hang tough brother.

They even went so far as to involve both my SISTER and MOTHER into aiding them in hiding this 5 year affair with my girlfriend.

WTF???

Not only would I be dumping the GF, but I would be telling mom and sister to go to hell and never contact me again!

Show her the door, ASAP!

I'm sorry you find yourself here. Five years is not an affair, it's a serious relationship. Get far away from this girl. And her saying she didn't mean to hurt you is utter bulls**t. What did she think was going to happen? Did she think you were just going to kiss her and say it was okay and go back to him and get some more. If you decide you want to stay with her tell her you are going out and find a woman to hook up with just for sex since you have been in an open relationship for 5 years without knowing it. Just like she did. You are not married to her and she has broken the bond you had with each other. For 5 years this woman has been a cancer in your life and you didn't even know it. With cancer you either treat it or cut it out. If she does this now what would she do later if you married her? Take a look around. This world is filled with women that would gladly take her place. Take a deep breath, dress and take yourself out to dinner. Start going to the gym. Buy some new clothes. Get a new hair style. Go out and meet some new people. The best revenge in a situation like this is to LIVE WELL. And last, your mother and sister have both betrayed you. They evidently love your cheating girlfriend more than you. It may be time to rethink your family dynamics. I would say, right off hand, your mother and sister are not watching out for your best interest. I do wish you well.

If you can, please explain how your mother and sister helped your BS hide her infidelity.....I have had my MIL hide her son's infidelity from me. And it took our MC for my FWH to finally see how his FOO was not normal.., it sucks!

[This message edited by Hopeful30 at 4:48 PM, August 27th (Sunday)]

#Hopeful30 I haven't contacted them yet, and don't know how they could do that to me.

BTW how did you find out that your MIL knew and what was her reason for hiding it from you?

Your gf is human garbage just like your "best friend", also your mom and sister are trash do you really need them in your life. At least you're not married so run you can always get a new girldfriend, belive me in your situation you can't possibly do worst than her. Expose to her parents and the rest of your family about mom and sis behavior then watch them squirm.

Brother we understand how you feel as we have been where you are.

Your immediate priority is taking care of yourself. First thing is you need to do is get some food in you. Even if it's crackers and gatorade at first. Keep at it. Lots of us here drop too much weight and get run down. How are you sleeping? Make that a priority as well, ok? I went on walks to clear my head. Exercise totally helps your mood and is recommended.

You need to confirm what she said about your mom and sister. Cheaters lie, and this one has lied to you for over half your relationship. She could be misrepresenting things, certainly don't take her word for anything now.

Didn't mean to hurt you. No. She was out having her fun with regular sex for years behind your back. She obviously wasn't thinking about you one way or another. This sounds like the all too common scenario: The type who stays with the mild mannered man who is good to her but doesn't rock her world sexually. That she gets from the asshole(s) she's sneaking around with. Yes I've been there.

It is so very good to hear that you are not married and have no kids. This is no way to live your life, and it will be if she's cheating after only 4 years. This woman is not to be trusted.

Strength brother, it is tough and I wish you well and you have been given good advice, I recommend you to go NC with her to clear your head and regroup, NC for a while or forever.

So she cheated on you for 5 years and suddenly and voluntarily confessed after 5 years out of guilt?, where was her guilt during those 5 years? What is going on here?

And you say you have been betrayed by not only her and your friend but also by your mother and sister, what is going on here?

Strength!

I am sorry that you have had to encounter betrayals at so many levels by individuals who were so close and important in your life.

I suggest that you get away as far as possiblefrom all 4 of them. You do not need them in your life. They cannot be trusted ever. As someone pointed out that "five years is not an affair, it is a relationship" I also believe this. Yet she lived with you all this time while your own sister and your mother supported her infidelity. Be happy that you were never married to her and please don't ever consider making her your wife.Wish you could take the same approach regarding your sister and your mother.

He found in the morning and dont ate in 3 days...

Time for a new girlfriend, and a new best friend.

dbl post

[This message edited by twisted at 9:21 AM, August 28th (Monday)]

5 years just sex? Nope. You probably don't know the majority of the scope of this affair yet.

I just don't know how My mom and sister could look me in the eyes EVERY time they saw me and not say shit. Fuckin BITCH ASS SHIT

I think I would talk to your father for some support about this quadruple betrayol... wtf

Time to move everyone involved out of your life.

I suspect there is more than what she told you behind her confession. Cheaters rarely, rarely confess out of guilt/remorse alone.

They confess because they think that someone is getting ready to expose them first or they confess because they want out of the relationship.

Just sayin.

I'm with 'badmemory'.

There's a reason she's telling you now and it's not because she suddenly grew a conscience.

If she did just want out she should have just did that in the first place