SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

I'll second the big "Just Divorced" banner on the garage door, or written across the back window of your car.

..buts that's just the way I roll.

Hang in there there will be closure and finality.

You will get D and be able to move on.

I see what a good person you are and completely thinking of your children. 💯% for the kids. They are lucky.

Just always make decisions giving careful consideration to your children. Because people have a way of being vindictive and nasty to retaliate. Especially if she thinks you are doing better than her. Especially if the current AP/BF dumps her.

Choose you words and actions so the children do not suffer backlash from her. You have shown such class and restraint so far. I know it is not easy.

But you will be faced with STBXW for the next few years as a co-parent in your life. And I have witnessed (even after the D) the hatred and anger and the kids suffer.

My friend was in your position. His wife cheated. She D him. All her idea. She remarried very very wealthy and screwed her XH for every penny she could. Took him to court multiple times over nonsense. Tried to have him arrrsted numerous times. Just plain crap she threw at him. Still does to this day via their children. His legal fees b/c of the CW’s anger were six figures.

I just put it out there b/c I want you to know (and I’m sure you do) that the D is one hurdle. Co-parenting is the never ending Long distance race. Hang in.

[This message edited by The1stWife at 9:47 AM, April 16th (Monday)]

2pm Tomorrow!

[This message edited by RockstarDad at 12:03 PM, April 17th (Tuesday)]

I might have a party when the weather gets better but not a divorce party

Yes. Despite it being fun to think about witty banners, etc., it might be cruel to the kids. They may not realize that right now, but the day D is final, is the day their world was officially destroyed.

I completely understand your feelings (of freedom). Sometimes I secretly wish that my WW didn't end the A, that there was the only available path in front of me and at the end of it was freedom for me. Because now I don't know what awaits me at the end yet.

Yeah, you're right about not flaunting. But it was fun thinking about. Best revenge, I hear, is live well.

I really like the way you are handling this. It is so trashy of them to stay in the same street. I love that you wave at him. The neighbours must be disgusted, I know i would be.

The party can be about me and my friends and neighbors no reason to have it be about her. I mean why? She is part of my past not my future.

I like this statement. I’m not having a D party. I’m celebrating Freedom, Life, My Kids, and my friends/family. I thought of a banner, a big dart board with XWW and AP’s faces on it....yes it would be funny and fulfilling. But it would be childish and immature. This is not what I wanted out of life, or how I pictured it. But it is what it is. I’m realizing as a human you have to be able to adapt and change. You may not like it but life is full of disappoints and heart break. It’s just part of the human experience.

[This message edited by SuperDaddy1027 at 3:36 PM, April 16th (Monday)]

Agreed. It's fun to think of all the embarrassing sexual stuff I know about her being put on a billboard in my front yard with her picture on it. I even though of ordering one of those lasers that goes really quick and can write words and playing her life story on there garage as a canvas. But then who would I be? An a-hole just like them. I am taking my integrity and honor to the grave with me. She isn't worth tarnishing it. Nothing is.

Gonna take the rest of the night off. Thanks for the support.

Win wars not battles. You have nothing to prove. Everyone sees. Live your life. No one will respect them. No one will trust them.

OM did you a favor and one day will pay the price.

Best wishes to you. Learn from this. One day you will get that special person. Work on you

2pm Tomorrow!

Fantastic! Let us know when all is said and done.

Wow. Great!

Excellent! I expect to see your official “I’m officially Divorced” post in D/S or NB tomorrow!

Great news! You will finally be able to breathe a little sigh of relief.

Keep us posted.

Yesss! Only one more day of holding our breath.

Nah, not a divorce party, but a new life celebration. With your friends, neighbors, and kids. No need to call it anything, but you and she will know it marks an occasion.

Not 100% but the words seem to fit quite well:

And now, the end is near

The record shows I took the blows and did it my way!

Be thinking of you

Win wars not battles.

I once read that George Washington took part in more battles where he lost than battles that he won. Yet we remember him for the war he won.

It’s going to be the same for you.

Use the time the divorce is finalized as a waypoint or milestone. It’s when you change your attitude towards your ex-wife and your interactions with her.

Don’t have to have a positive attitude or be nice or whatever. But her role in your life is now changed forever. No matter what then you want her to be the best mom possible to your kids. The divorce settlement should have outlined your obligations as well as hers, and settled the financial aspects regarding the boys. You should hope and aim for an amicable co-parenting relationship where you both have the same objectives and views to your boy’s benefit.

This does NOT require you all go like some quasi-family and share Thanksgiving or whatever. But it does require that when with you the boys don’t hear unjust negativity regarding their mom or actions to spite her just to spite her.

Heck RockstarDad… As a DAD you would want your ex-(W)W and OM relationship to blossom and prosper and create the best environment possible for your boys to spend 50% of their time.

This site is sometimes big on revenge. We get threads here regularly that are all about hurting the WS and the AP. To me that’s just deciding to linger on in purgatory and even risking stepping into hell. I am completely unafraid of confrontation and consequences. Right now, your wife is dealing with the confrontation divorce really is. She’s dealing with the ultimate consequence: Not being your wife.

I think highly enough of myself – and I hope ALL posters do so of themselves – that I see ME as a prize. I see YOU as the prize. Your ex-wife just lost the biggest opportunity and prize she will encounter in her entire lifetime. Just like my ex-fiancé lost ME and thereby the biggest opportunity she ever encountered. To me that was revenge enough.

I hope you focus totally on yourself and your family. It’s one person smaller now, but the kids need that focus. You mentioned in an earlier post about credit being impacted by her late-payment. You have posted questions about moving… Why not focus the next 60 days on finances, cleaning up bills and costs from the divorce, uncluttering life and creating a very clear financial vision? Why not focus on changes and improvements on the house – DIY to keep you occupied. Small tasks that make it YOURS – Mr. RockstarDad – and not Mr. and Mrs. RockstarDad.

Congratulations on your freedom.

This is a major door out of infidelity. Close it behind you rather than leave it open.

Bigger,

Nice post.