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Newest Member: Longnightalone

General :
Home From Deployment to Hell

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 LtCdrLost (original poster member #63398) posted at 11:42 PM on Friday, April 13th, 2018

Do you have a plan to talk to her or are you intending on minimal/no contact for kids/divorce?

We have no children, Rockstar. I have no intention of speaking to her again, aside from what may be required legally. She's dead to me. I've known for months, I think, that there was no path back from this. It was part of the compartmentalization I did back in the second week of December, after the first confirmed proof was in my hands.

Formerly banned as Hiram, a fraud and liar.

posts: 398   ·   registered: Apr. 10th, 2018
id 8140777
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Shattereddd ( member #51338) posted at 11:45 PM on Friday, April 13th, 2018

Wow, so much respect for you. I wish I had had your strength on DDay.

And thank you for your service.

Me: BXH Her: WXW
DDay1 - 2005 DDay2 - 2015 --> Divorced 2017

posts: 1082   ·   registered: Jan. 16th, 2016
id 8140779
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StillStanding1 ( member #40144) posted at 11:51 PM on Friday, April 13th, 2018

What a day. You handled it remarkably well, as I was certain you would.

The emotional crash is likely to hit now. Great that you will be with friends tonight. Be careful with alcohol. I went out one night and thought I could handle it, but alcohol weakened my strong exterior and I crumbled. I know your friends will understand though. Glad you have support. You haven’t mentioned your own family though. I’m hoping you have a supportive network there as well.

You’ve done really really well my heart hurts with you today. Be well.

Me: BS50s Him: WH50s
M 25 years - DD DS DS
LTA = 2+ yrs, Dday - 2/13, S for 1 year, now R

posts: 1632   ·   registered: Aug. 1st, 2013   ·   location: Midwest
id 8140783
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Booyah ( member #60124) posted at 11:51 PM on Friday, April 13th, 2018

LtC so sorry you had to tell her parents (and to play an audio in order for her mother to believe it). It had to be done however, but we know it wasn't easy.

Glad you're going to be with friends tonight.

posts: 1254   ·   registered: Aug. 11th, 2017
id 8140784
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 LtCdrLost (original poster member #63398) posted at 11:52 PM on Friday, April 13th, 2018

StillStanding, I don't drink. I feel a big let-down coming, I've lived in the "right now" for months on end. Now I'm just another cuckolded husband...

[This message edited by LtCdrLost at 11:49 PM, April 16th (Monday)]

Formerly banned as Hiram, a fraud and liar.

posts: 398   ·   registered: Apr. 10th, 2018
id 8140786
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imagoodwitch ( member #23375) posted at 11:54 PM on Friday, April 13th, 2018

Well, we are here for you when those pesky emotions rear their ugly heads.

Hitting the gym often will benefit you greatly in the days to come.

Ordinary average everyday sane psycho super goddess

posts: 6906   ·   registered: Mar. 25th, 2009   ·   location: Munchkinland
id 8140789
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IceThee ( member #53715) posted at 11:56 PM on Friday, April 13th, 2018

Dear LCL, I mourn with you. Sending a gentle hug and encouragement. This too shall pass. Allow the pain to come, no matter how awful it seems.

"It's ok to not be ok"

Me: BS Him: xH (still cheating I'm sure)
Dday 1: November 2012 (didn’t realize it was a Dday until April 2018)
Dday 2: April 2016 Dday 3: July 2017
D final July 2018

"He who is without sin, cast

posts: 663   ·   registered: Jun. 18th, 2016   ·   location: 🌏
id 8140790
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 LtCdrLost (original poster member #63398) posted at 11:59 PM on Friday, April 13th, 2018

Imagood, I hit the ironpile 5-6 days a week regularly. I'll be continuing that. Tonight I'm in the company of comrades. I'm getting the biggest slab of medium rare beef on the menu and starting my life anew as of today, Friday April the 13th 2018. I want to thank you all for your kind comments and your support.

[This message edited by LtCdrLost at 11:49 PM, April 16th (Monday)]

Formerly banned as Hiram, a fraud and liar.

posts: 398   ·   registered: Apr. 10th, 2018
id 8140791
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MidnightRun ( member #59434) posted at 12:00 AM on Saturday, April 14th, 2018

Have a steak.

Decompress.

Sleep.

posts: 1562   ·   registered: Jun. 30th, 2017   ·   location: CT
id 8140792
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StillStanding1 ( member #40144) posted at 12:03 AM on Saturday, April 14th, 2018

Now I'm just another cuckolded husband...

Umm, no. No, you’re not. You got yourself out of that position as quickly and firmly as I’ve ever witnessed. Yours will become the “go to” thread on how NOT to allow yourself to become a cuckold. So put that identifier in the trash heap of history. You don’t get to wear that “badge”.

You, sir, are a true inspiration for all those BS struggling to be strong and take a firm stand against infidelity.

Glad you don’t drink. Enjoy the camaraderie and support tonight. Be kind to yourself as you begin to process all of this.

Me: BS50s Him: WH50s
M 25 years - DD DS DS
LTA = 2+ yrs, Dday - 2/13, S for 1 year, now R

posts: 1632   ·   registered: Aug. 1st, 2013   ·   location: Midwest
id 8140794
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 LtCdrLost (original poster member #63398) posted at 12:06 AM on Saturday, April 14th, 2018

Standing in what used to be our bedroom looking at what was our marital bed, I sure felt that way today. Fucking emasculated is how I felt...

Formerly banned as Hiram, a fraud and liar.

posts: 398   ·   registered: Apr. 10th, 2018
id 8140797
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Freeme ( member #31946) posted at 12:11 AM on Saturday, April 14th, 2018

Just want to add that you are amazing. You are doing everything right...even if it's much harder. You seem to have all of you i dotted and t crossed.

I have to say I'd have a hard time not looking at listening to the text/voice mail... what could she have to say at this point? Ignoring them is better its a rabbit hole that will only drag you down and cause more pain.

posts: 2807   ·   registered: Apr. 21st, 2011   ·   location: Washington DC
id 8140800
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WilliamM ( member #60910) posted at 12:11 AM on Saturday, April 14th, 2018

I understand you don't want to talk to her. But I would have to talk to her one time. You are stronger than I am. I would have listened to the messages and read the texts because I would have wanted to know her response to everything.

All things are possible.

posts: 1157   ·   registered: Oct. 4th, 2017   ·   location: Dallas, TX
id 8140801
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MidnightRun ( member #59434) posted at 12:13 AM on Saturday, April 14th, 2018

You're a man--the other guy is a chump. You won in the end. Your stbxw would lynch her boyfriend if you gave the order.

She's been struck senseless.

posts: 1562   ·   registered: Jun. 30th, 2017   ·   location: CT
id 8140803
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tmacfire ( member #40536) posted at 12:14 AM on Saturday, April 14th, 2018

Lt you have handled a horrible situation wonderfully. From someone who didn't, I wish I had done what you had done, a quick decisive line that you drew and stuck to. That is anything but emasculated, you showed a set of brass balls and have taken care of you. We can't control what they do, only our response and yours sir is epic!

Bs-45WW-43 Married 24Ea-Pa Dec 2012DDay Feb 6 2013 TT till 4-29-13 my bday present!

Status- Sometimes I don'thave a clue!

posts: 133   ·   registered: Sep. 3rd, 2013   ·   location: Us
id 8140804
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HardenMyHeart ( member #15902) posted at 12:14 AM on Saturday, April 14th, 2018

Fucking emasculated is how I felt...

Yes, it hurts like hell. I'm sorry. You will get through this. Sending strength.

Me: BH, Her: WW, Married 40 years, Reconciled

posts: 7038   ·   registered: Aug. 23rd, 2007
id 8140805
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RippedSoul ( member #40055) posted at 12:20 AM on Saturday, April 14th, 2018

((((LtCdrLost))))

BW: 55; SLAWH: 52; M: 28 yrs
DD#1--11/30/12 (prostitute 1)
DD#2--1/29/13 (WH confessed: P1, AP, escorts 1 & 2)
DD#3--9/13 (trolling MILF site)
DD#4--10/8/13 (EA with AP cont'd)
DD: 26; DD: 24; DS: 22; DS: 20
I've never NOT edited my posts.

posts: 716   ·   registered: Jul. 26th, 2013   ·   location: West
id 8140808
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homewrecked2011 ( member #34678) posted at 12:20 AM on Saturday, April 14th, 2018

Yeah, my xh brought OW into our bed-AND he set me up to become friends with her.

I finally, finally, realized there’s something horribly wrong with him. And he’s selfish.

I also realized I just can’t begin to understand the depth of his stupidity, and insane behavior, as I’m not wired that way. And when I thought about it, it set me back.

Keep moving forward. You’ve done nothing wrong.

[This message edited by homewrecked2011 at 6:54 PM, April 13th (Friday)]

Sometimes He calms the storm. Sometimes He lets the storm rage, but calms His child. Dday 12/19/11I went to an attorney and had him served. Shocked the hell out of him, with D papers, I'm proud to say!D final10/30/2012Me-55

posts: 5513   ·   registered: Jan. 30th, 2012
id 8140809
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ZenMumWalking ( member #25341) posted at 12:20 AM on Saturday, April 14th, 2018

I feel a big let-down coming

Yes, once the adrenaline of all that planning goes down, don't be surprised if there is a big dip in the rollercoaster.

I understand that you may feel emasculated, but you are not less of a man. Whore wife is the big loser here, because she did not appreciate the bounty that she had in you. She allowed herself to be a cum dumpster with a cheater. She thought she could get away with it and that you would be none the wiser, but you smashed that imaginary reality to smithereens. And now she's thinking that she can rope you back in.

You are not being cuckolded. You have gotten yourself out of infidelity. You will continue to heal, but don't be afraid to let your emotions out when they come. It will help with your healing, you know?

I'm sorry you had to go into your bedroom, it must have been hell with the mind movies. I completely understand wanting to vomit. I hope that you are never in the situation where you have to enter the house again.

Enjoy your time off and SD. You deserve it.

Me (BS), Him (WH): late-50's
3 DS: 26, 25, 22
M: 30+ (19 1/2 at Dday)
Dday: Dec 2008
Wanted R, not gonna happen (in permanent S)
Used to be DeadMumWalking, doing better now

posts: 8533   ·   registered: Aug. 28th, 2009   ·   location: EU
id 8140810
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MidnightRun ( member #59434) posted at 12:31 AM on Saturday, April 14th, 2018

OM screwed over his wife and young kids by fucking a married woman whose loyal husband was away serving his country.

I ask you, Who's the real man in this scenario?

posts: 1562   ·   registered: Jun. 30th, 2017   ·   location: CT
id 8140819
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