SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

OM screwed over his wife and young kids by fucking a married woman whose loyal husband was away serving his country.

I ask you, Who's the real man in this scenario?

Exactly. Thoughts and prayers brother, thoughts and prayers. Semper Fi (even though your STBXWW doesn't believe in it, you do)

"She's dead to me and no contact. PERFECT.

Sorry I thought you had children.

Outstanding plan and execution.

The A had nothing to do with you. It’s all on her. Please don’t dwell too long on feeling emasculated. It was nothing you did, nothing you didn’t do, nothing you said, nothing you didn’t say.

In the early days WS come up with all kinds of bullshit excuses, I’ve seen some doozies here and heard quite a few myself

Please be gentle with yourself when these thoughts creep up.

You’ve done everything I wish I had done. Shock and awe.

I know what you mean about feeling like a cuckold and emasculated. It didn't take me long to understand that it was all on her. But those feelings persisted from time to time. I have severe PTSD and I've never been in a combat zone. I don't have enemies. WW attacked and hurt me worse than any enemy could have.

You mentioned you feel there might be a let down. I'm almost positive there will be for you. While you're on "mission" and focused feelings and the let down are held at bay (mostly). They need to be so you can function and stay on mission.

Mission complete. Let down. Overwhelming, maybe. I wouldn't doubt PTSD. Some time ago, I think on SI, there was a man who had been deployed 5 times into combat zones. His WW betrayed him while he was deployed just like you. He had PTSD from combat but it paled and became irrelevant upon the discovery of adultery. His PTSD was severe. A pile on.

I mention this to suggest that you explore the idea of getting IC. I'm sure the Navy has psychologists that are trained and very familiar with trauma and PTSD. I'm now going to an IC with those credentials including having PTSD herself from her law enforcement career. It's helping me tremendously even though I've got a ways to go. Perhaps it wouldn't have had the same benefit sooner after my DDays.

Just thought I would throw that out there. My best wishes, LCL. Go well.

Take what ever support you can get from your service family and from SI. As a collective we have all been in this battle, there is no joy in it.

What a mess her Mother made you look at that filth again to believe you.

Consider getting a new phone that is clean of this mess. One that you don’t have to lock in a box and can keep with you. A number that you can give your command.

double Post

[This message edited by PricklePatch at 9:29 PM, April 13th (Friday)]

Beware that she's likely moving heaven and earth to locate you.

I intend to at least read the texts (19 currently) later to determine her intentions if possible. I might or might not listen to the voicemails. There's an open to dependents activity tomorrow on base where my presence is not optional.

[This message edited by LtCdrLost at 11:50 PM, April 16th (Monday)]

It was an audio CD, PricklePatch. Still not something I wanted to hear again.

[This message edited by LtCdrLost at 8:29 PM, April 13th (Friday)]

I intend to at least read the texts (19 currently) later to determine her intentions if possible.

I agree. My XWW had a complete meltdown and she's still not right. If for nothing else, knowing what is going on can help protect you. No need to respond to anything. Also, I have a feeling that you'll get updates on POSOM without doing anything. You have friends.

[This message edited by Cromer at 7:31 PM, April 13th (Friday)]

LtC.....be aware your STBX will probably be at the function tomorrow to try and talk to you.

Have you thought of a strategy to deal with that?

k9

K9, that's a situation I have little or no ability to control. I'll just have to be prepared for what may come. After Wednesday I'm on a bird to sunny Sandy Eggo for two weeks.

[This message edited by LtCdrLost at 11:51 PM, April 16th (Monday)]

Don't be surprised if she's checking every hotel in the area.

I'd be surprised if she showed her face knowing what you and, by extension, what a lot of other people know who will be attending.

Oh yeah on the Hotel thing...I used to check in under fake names after my STBXW tracked me down one night when we were still together and I needed to cool off and get some space.

Gives me chills just thinking about it.

Is it possible she will zero in on your friends/coworkers tonight in an effort to track you down? Have they been forewarned? Sorry to interfere with a mouth watering steak dinner however I think she may leave no stone unturned in her search to find you and proclaim to all that she is innocent.

She will probably reach out to people you both know, friends of yours.

LtC....

You have executed this amazingly. My chest hurt as a read about telling in-laws.

Since you have filed and she has been served, Can she be removed as a listed dependent? If so would that keep her from attending?

Wouldn't that be a shit shock for her...

Perhaps MIL will keep her busy...?

I pray for you! You are a good man! Now go make west! Never look back! And make a new life with a deserving wife!

Shocked & William, she'll get nothing there. These are not guys who would crack under pressure...

[This message edited by LtCdrLost at 8:26 PM, April 13th (Friday)]

LtCdrLost,

You are doing great. Infidelity is extremely painfully traumatic for all of us BSs. Sending you strength.