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Newest Member: LonelyandUnsure

Just Found Out :
Day #4...unreal

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 numb2018 (original poster member #62366) posted at 2:06 AM on Monday, April 30th, 2018

Thank you, everyone. Seeing the lawyer tomorrow. Have no idea what this will entail. No idea where he's gone, but the OBS informs me that she is with him. Daughter is pissed, and our youngest has autism and keeps asking about his dad. I'm just in a state of shock.

posts: 129   ·   registered: Jan. 21st, 2018   ·   location: Southwest
id 8153283
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Cooley2here ( member #62939) posted at 2:14 AM on Monday, April 30th, 2018

Numb, if he is not letting his children know where he is then he is a pos who needs a kick in the a**. People who desert their children are scum!

When things go wrong, don’t go with them. Elvis

posts: 4618   ·   registered: Mar. 5th, 2018   ·   location: US
id 8153289
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fareast ( Moderator #61555) posted at 2:29 AM on Monday, April 30th, 2018

Strength to you and your children as you move forward. So sorry you are here and especially for your children. You have given him every opportunity and he has shown you who he is. Despicable to desert a family with children at home. Please take care of yourself and make sure your children get counseling and that school officials are notified. Detach. No contact means no new hurts. Have him served as soon as feasible. You are strong and you deserve so much better. You will get through this with your children.

Never bother with things in your rearview mirror. Your best days are on the road in front of you.

posts: 3991   ·   registered: Nov. 24th, 2017
id 8153298
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PricklePatch ( member #34041) posted at 4:37 AM on Monday, April 30th, 2018

Strength to you numb. Video everything so you know if he takes assets. Also pull finials out and put them somewhere safe.

Hugs and prayers.

BS Fwh

posts: 3267   ·   registered: Nov. 28th, 2011
id 8153353
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hopeandhealing ( member #63089) posted at 4:42 AM on Monday, April 30th, 2018

Numb,

Good for you to say no more to his crap! You gave him the gift of reconciliation and he showed you that his perceived needs continue to be more important than yours. Wow. I am sorry you are going through this and sorry your kids are as well. You will get through this with them and model for your kids how to be treated.

I wish you strength.

Me- BW (45)
Him - WH (46)
M - 22 yrs, DC (20,17)
DDay - Aug 2017, 4 LT PA

posts: 274   ·   registered: Mar. 19th, 2018
id 8153356
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tushnurse ( member #21101) posted at 12:58 PM on Monday, April 30th, 2018

Make sure you document that he as abandoned you. This will not fair well for him, esp w/ a special needs child.

Stay strong. Focus on you and your kids.

((((And Healing))))

Me: FBSHim: FWSKids: 23 & 27 Married for 32 years now, was 16 at the time.D-Day Sept 26 2008R'd in about 2 years. Old Vet now.

posts: 20380   ·   registered: Oct. 1st, 2008   ·   location: St. Louis
id 8153479
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SilverStar ( member #46958) posted at 3:38 PM on Monday, April 30th, 2018

I hope by now you have Hefty-bagged all his crap and tossed it into the garage. Let him know Am-Vets is coming in 5 days to pick it all up. File and serve him, NC except finances and kids.

The love triangle only works with you in it. I see it this way: pre-A, Wh is 80% happy with the marriage. OW comes along and now he's 100% happy. He thinks OW is making him 100% happy. Hahahahaha! He's about to enjoy 20% happiness, the loss of his children's and community's respect, the division of marital assets and the death of his soul. And he'll be sharing all that with a lying, sneaking skank who has done the same. Sounds like a nice life (heavy sarcasm).

Let him go. Your heart is going to feel like it is exploding and you will even think you are in so much pain that you will die. You will not. You must do these things anyway. Know the SI army is before you, beside you and behind you.

BW me
WH him
2 kids
D-Day 11/11/14

posts: 458   ·   registered: Feb. 25th, 2015   ·   location: United States
id 8153597
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