This Topic is Archived
oldtruck ( member #62540) posted at 11:47 AM on Monday, May 7th, 2018
Extremely bad sign that the WW is still protecting
the OM. She should want you to expose the OM.
As to the BW. Thread after thread, post after post
where it is written how the BS deserves the truth.
Well this BS, wife #6 deserves the truth. Once the
IRS finds out he married money all that money will
be gone. She needs to protect herself and that of
her daughter.
This BW must be told and told today, ASAP. No if's
and's or butt's.
There is no statue of limitations on karma and
on consequences for adultery.
[This message edited by oldtruck at 5:48 AM, May 7th (Monday)]
Mrhealed ( member #46868) posted at 12:16 PM on Monday, May 7th, 2018
I dont think your FWW is protecting OM. IMO she is just trying to burry the whole thing as It has been torturing her for many years.
Nevertheless, It is the rigth thing yo do.
From other angle, It couldnt be a good thing un your healing yo have this little revenge against OM...
Couldnt you do It anonimously?
Good luck
"Infidelity is not a victimless offense. If she cheats on me, then I am a victim. If she intentionally cheats on me then I am an intended victim." by DoneGone
nlwsrw (original poster member #55828) posted at 3:07 PM on Monday, May 7th, 2018
Oldtruck..you have misjudged WW's concern...like many others that have commented...she fears for my safety...as I stated she has empathy for OM's wife no6..in that she unknowly exposed her assets to him...if he threatens me...I will report the threat to authorities..further humiliation for the POS...
northeasternarea ( member #43214) posted at 3:38 PM on Monday, May 7th, 2018
I’m sorry, but this is not healthy.
You have spent time researching marriage licenses and divorce decrees for a man that your wife had an affair with 24 years ago.
And, since you’ve said past wives had agreed to have you forward their numbers, you’ve also been tracking down his past wives to talk to them.
You believe it’s your duty to save a 53 year old woman from a choice she made to marry this man?
You know nothing about what she knows or doesn’t know. She’s a grown woman.
Go spend some quality time with the wife you have fully reconciled with and leave this man, and all his wives, alone.
All of this. For all we know, the current wife could have been his AP. If what you had was current information that he is having an affair, my opinion would be different.
The only person you can change is yourself.
WilliamM ( member #60910) posted at 4:28 PM on Monday, May 7th, 2018
I will just say this. If your mind is made up then be careful and be wise. It is good that your wife is remorseful for what she did. Has she shared with you all the details of the affair or is that something that you still don't want to know about?
nlwsrw (original poster member #55828) posted at 5:07 PM on Monday, May 7th, 2018
North/William...the marriage licence of Oct 2017...indicates one previous marriage..wife no6 only has knowledge of one previous marriage...there are 5...I doubt OM has confessed he LIED on the licence during the past 7 months..that in itself is a recent event...when she sees OM has NEVER been truthful on marriage 3,4,5,6...there is a pattern of deliberate deceit..so she likely will want his motive exposed..why lie to all these women...including my WW 25 years ago...he has mislead women since 1983...35 years...5 divorces..and to what end...the divorce decrees indicate additional deviant attempts at deception..much in an attempt at financial gain.
And yes FWW has provided all information that she recalls...a lot quite painful for us both..the affair season..jan-end of march are uncomfortable every year..complicated by my seasonal affective disorder...i've hated winter since I was a teenager..worsened by age...now that granddaughter will be heading to college in the fall..we plan on wintering at her sister's/BIL's summer FL home this coming winter.
demos ( member #35660) posted at 6:23 PM on Monday, May 7th, 2018
A couple of thoughts. It would not surprise me if Donna knows. There could be another reason that he is listing 1 on the marriage licenses. I could be totally off but how does even a nut job divorce 5 times, stay local, remarry and then try to hide the previous 5??? Just like you said you had a friend mention to you that OM had remarried. It's only a matter of time until Donna runs into somebody that will divulge a piece of her husbands past unintentionally. Donna will have a friend of a friend that was friends with his 4th wife. Something random like that where Donna would say oh he wasn't married to 4th wife and friend of friend will confirm he surely was because I was at the wedding. Hiding previous marriages wasn't successful for him when he only had a couple. I'm curious why he would think it would work now that he has 5 to hide! Think of all the people you meet through marriage. Family, friends, coworkers. Eventually Donna is going to bump into one of those folks. You'd think even a crazy guy would understand that. So my guess says she knows but obviously I could be very wrong.
Second thought, be very careful as others have mentioned. You never know his state of mind or how desperate his life had become before meeting Donna. You take that away and 68 year old man might decide he has nothing to live for and point his anger directly at you and or your wife. Be very careful!
nlwsrw (original poster member #55828) posted at 7:10 PM on Monday, May 7th, 2018
Demos...wife nos3 and 4 lived in counties 130 miles to the east in the 80's. No 3 I understand remarried and 2nd husband passed a few years ago..her brother is a former law officer who worked with a friend in my coffee group. I recognized her name a few years ago when he mentioned she had moved back. No5 lives about 70 miles from my town..don't know her...just from divorce decree....never found no1..only marriage licence from 1971. No2 still goes to my church...we have not discussed OM or mentioned him since 1994. So in the area only no 2 and 3 live here. His sister my FWW's best friend/coworker certainly knows all the hidden skeletons...she is likely an accessory to all the marriage scams...
And yes WW and I have discussed his potential reaction..he was furious that WW found out about his lies in 1994 thru ME...he called me in 94...did not identify himself..lots of cursing, threats...he is about 4 inches shorter than me...in 72 years my fighting record is about 50/50...last altercation about 30 years ago..I think I lost that one...WW and i have CWC permits. I am well known, and connected...one close friend in coffee group is former police captian/detective..never asked him for info about OM or confided in him about events of 1994...but he would be accommodating if things get 'dicey'...he was the wepons trainer for his department..former Air Force MP...he trained WW and I to get CWC permit...we have one or two follow up renewal sessions with him yearly...she puts 18/22 in the target silhouette...I only get about 14...
[This message edited by nlwsrw at 2:59 PM, May 7th (Monday)]
Kamstel ( member #63575) posted at 7:27 PM on Monday, May 7th, 2018
When are you planning on handing it off to the poor woman?
nlwsrw (original poster member #55828) posted at 8:03 PM on Monday, May 7th, 2018
Kamstel...this week when she is in her yard...her SUV not in driveway this morning...I can see the front yard down the side street from the main road that I travel 12/15 weekly...direct to Lowes, Home Depot, Panera (coffee group hangout 6.30-8.15am), Olive Garden, etc, etc...traveled this before they moved there sometime before 1st of the year. Found address in march when paying my property taxes.
It appears she does not work (likely $ medical settlement)....modest house untill after 2011 settlement....OM still works contract maint. work..chemical plant...moved around a lot in 70's, 80's, 90's and 2000's.
IslandGirl4418 ( member #63198) posted at 4:52 PM on Tuesday, May 8th, 2018
Mind your own business!!! Don't waste precious energy in such a negative way. It will not serve you well. Concentrate on your own marriage. Donna will find out in good time without you having anything to do with it. You can't keep 6 marriages a secret forever!
Age: 65
Married: 27 yrs.
D-Day: 6/9/2017
Divorce Final: 12/10/2018
Western ( member #46653) posted at 5:01 AM on Wednesday, May 9th, 2018
I think NLW is right for exposing.
BTW Islandgirl, NLW was minding his own business when this guy couldn't stay out of Nlw's business (marriage) 20-30 years ago.
Consequences suck. Maybe it's this a$$hat's time to get what's coming to him.
I will love every second of it. Hate it for Mrs. A$$hat but at least she finds out early and can recover her life.
Regarding Nlw's marriage, he has done yeoman's work to save it, much has probably taken a toll on his own ego. A shame that no BS should have to do but many who reconcile do. That's not a criticism of reconciliation but a reality.
Nlw decided to rugsweep years ago. I personally believe if he could go back in time, he would choose a different direction. I wouldn't blame him in the least.
If this is how he heals, to take down the OM, I normally don't agree with it unless you decide to divorce yourself. It's both or none. In this case and with a predator of this magnitude, I do agree with him. Strike hot, strike fast.
In the meantime, Nlw has to live a marriage that will never be what it could have been all because of his wife's selfishness and I think that is the true tragedy here and if this helps Nlw heal more, I am all for it
nlwsrw (original poster member #55828) posted at 5:08 PM on Wednesday, May 9th, 2018
Transfer completed...Donna was planting flowers around her mailbox. I handed the envelope to her..said I have known of her husband for 40 years...this envelope contains certified copies of his 5 previous marriage certificates...and copies of 4 of the 5 divorce decrees. I apologized for the apparent shock..I said.."if you have non-marital assets..you should take immediate action to protect and secure those...I am sorry"...she said nothing...did not know how to read her demeanor....then I drove away..looking in the mirror..she opened and removed the papers (23 pages)...
Smillie ( member #51537) posted at 5:12 PM on Wednesday, May 9th, 2018
Well done I guess. I reckon you are going to be keeping tabs on this guy forever. He probably deserves it.
WilliamM ( member #60910) posted at 5:36 PM on Wednesday, May 9th, 2018
I know this is off the subject at hand and if you do not wish to answer just tell me so. I will understand. After your wife left you, and you showed her all of the divorces, how did you two get back together. What did she say about leaving you? What work did she do to become safe again? You also said to reconcile you could not ask questions? Why was that a part of the agreement? Did you ever get the chance to ask questions? Do you now know all about the affair?
nlwsrw (original poster member #55828) posted at 6:53 PM on Wednesday, May 9th, 2018
William...in 1994..I did not have divorce or marriage certificates as proof. Wife no2 went to my church..she told me much background about wife 1 and 3..I spoke to wife 3...she gave me name of wife 4. At that time I spoke with all but no 1...never found her..but 2, 3, 4 were willing to tell my WW everything in 94..wife 4 called my WW explained how OM was dangerous..physically, emotionally, financially.
WW first thought I was lying..WW asked her best/friend sister about 4 marriages..she knew it all...never warned my WW..she said 'you should discuss that to Jay'. Jay said he was going to tell WW about previous marriages..just waiting for the right time...oh but 'i've never met anyone like you..I have changed..you if I only met you first..there would have been no divorces?..I love only you"...WW instantly saw the BS..the BS she could not see before.
I told WW that if we were done..I knew she did not know about him..she would NEVER KNOWINGLY get involved with a 4 time looser...but if we were done for other reasons...she did not dserve that. WW was so embarrassed and humiliated..we were well known in a small town...she was very ashamed..her mother was really hard on her...embarrassment in the Catholic church..lost her high position in a prominent bank. I felt bad for her..didn't want to force more humiliation..she begged forgivness..wanted to do anything to save us..we went to Catholic Retrouvaille for about 8 months..weekly...we learned to communicate..healed to some extent, but I...we never knew the root cause...
In 2014...the 20 year anniversary..I had a serious flashback..why did this happen. We had 20 good years...FWW has never strayed again. It was me..ego, hurt not knowing. We stared both IC and in 2016 MC. We both continue to peel back the 'onion'. She has a bit of 'middle daughter syndrone'..needs affrimation, low self esteem..older and younger daughters left home..successful careers..younger lives in high society europe..older sister retired high up in hospital admin...WW really did well but stayed in her small home town. We are quite well off...but she always felt 'neglected emotionally' by her parents...needs constant reassurance. I never picked up on that...I do now..always try to remember to keep her elevated..small things..cards, trinket surprizes, surprise weekend trips, etc...make her No. ONE....surprised her with a new Lincoln on our 24th anniversary..24 because she wouldn't expect it on the 24th...now what to do for 25 in September?
In 1994 she wanted to avoid the details..made her ill she did those things..protect me...I let it slide. In 2014 she was successful forgetting those horrible events...with IC she slowly recalls things..she understands she must face them with me....it has been hell for us both..trickle truth because of the time elapse...but in the past 4 years much is now exposed...my turn to process and forgive...not easy...me IC weekly since Feb 2014...
So the recent March 2018 discovery of OM'S 6th fraud in marriage (october 2017 he married...but I didn't know the fraud of lsiting 1 previous marriage when there were 5 until late March 2018)...he has not changed since 1983...revenge for both me and my FWW...YES!!... and regardless of the naysayers here...if Donna saves some of her assets...then that becomes a WIN/WIN too.
[This message edited by nlwsrw at 1:10 PM, May 9th (Wednesday)]
bluewater ( member #9297) posted at 9:00 PM on Wednesday, May 9th, 2018
Personally I think you did the right thing. Hopefully you saved that poor woman from the pain and heartbreak history has shown is coming her way..
Kamstel ( member #63575) posted at 9:23 PM on Wednesday, May 9th, 2018
Good job!!!
Suspect that POS is not going to have a good night.
Just Reward!!!
Does she have your phone number????
Jduff ( member #41988) posted at 9:51 PM on Wednesday, May 9th, 2018
Hopefully, Donna grabbed as much as she could of her important possessions from the marital home, got a hotel room, and called an attorney and the bank. Her marriage is less than a year old so she may have hope of getting out without too much damage.
The grass is always greener.... where the dogs are shitting.
-Soundgarden
devotedman ( member #45441) posted at 10:02 PM on Wednesday, May 9th, 2018
Me: 2xBS b 1962 xWW after 2 decades, xWGF after almost 1.
Amelia Pond: Who are you?
The Doctor: I don't know yet. I'm still cooking.
ENFP-A. Huh.
This Topic is Archived